Time for a Change, Refocusing My Blog

We’ve certainly been through some powerful changes over the past year and a half and I’ll be the first to say it’s effected my way of life and how I think.

Throughout the past several months, I’ve changed the look of this blog several times, tried to come up with post ideas and looked for new ways to discover our inner being and live more consciously, I realized my heart just wasn’t in it any more. Primarily, I feel and think differently than I did 12 years ago when I started this blog.

Since the onset of the pandemic, my time and energy has been more invested in looking for ways to find more harmony, enjoyment and happiness in my day. That said, I’ve decided to redesign and rework my blog, from the appearance to the emphasis of the content. The underlying messages will continue to be based on living consciously, but overall I will be offering positive, simple ways to find peace of mind and joy. The name of my blog will remain the same.

I know in my heart this is what most of us are seeking and longing for now with all of the turmoil and stress in the world. I look forward to a fresh start and sharing creative ways to help us all achieve serenity and find enjoyment in our everyday lives.

Unbecoming Who You Are Not, and a Nod to Women’s History Month

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s unbecoming everything that isn’t you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” — Paulo Coelo

Becoming begins when we’re born when our brains aren’t fully developed and we are completely dependent upon the people around us. We tend to take on the characteristics of those caregivers to meet our basic needs and subsist. When we’re young and vulnerable we want to be accepted. Without understanding how they treat others, those closest to us most unfavorable traits such as hostility, lack of self esteem, anger and indifference can be absorbed into our “DNA”. Those traits reinforce adverse behaviors in ourselves such as low self esteem, self-criticism, fear and uncertainty.

The trick to unbecoming takes time, reflection and a huge dose of honesty. In my experience, the last part, honesty, is major. Being completely honest with ourselves takes us out of our comfort zone, but isn’t that where we need to go in order to peel away years of accepting, without question, who we are?

My story is unique but the path I took felt right for me. Unbecoming who I was has been a challenge and a joy. It began seriously for me when my mother passed away. I was fairly close with her so she was the caregiver I emulated most. A large part of my agreement to stifle myself was my belief that I needed her acceptance and approval. Then in 2013 when she died, I felt lost and adrift; I had no idea why, that’s when things broke open for me. I didn’t know who I really was, what I wanted, what I feared or what my reality was. As my “roller coaster” journey to self-realization began, I was eventually able to see that everything I did and how I saw myself was made by a former self I could no longer identify with. As time passed and the layers of the past fell away I began to feel at peace, happier and completely comfortable with the life choices I was making.

I would say that’s the key, when you feel complete peace, happy and comfortable, you’re on your way to unbecoming who you aren’t. When you step out of your comfort zone, letting go of what doesn’t feel right or good is a rite of passage for your soul. Connecting with your truth opens the door to a life that’s authentic and unique. It’s certainly not easy or something you can plan, it’s a matter of unlearning everything about yourself that you’ve just accepted. Just Imagine how much more meaningful your life will be when you’re living as the person your were born to be.

“That inner voice has both gentleness and clarity. So to get to authenticity, you really keep going down to the bone, to the honesty, and the inevitability of something.” – Meredith Monk

No one can tell you how to unbecome the person you aren’t or tell you how to let go of the ways that aren’t true to who you really are, but when you have the idea or notion of what’s possible, things will begin to slowly change and you will then allow who you really are to be liberated. Once the voyage to self authenticity begins, it will be your way of living for the rest of your life. Michael Bryant has quite a story to share of his brokenness and his unbecoming, it is well worth your time to listen.

Women’s History Month

Hedy Lamar was a glamourous, beautiful movie star, but she was also highly intelligent, ideas for inventions came naturally to her. The patent she filed with co-inventor George Antheil aimed to protect their war-time invention for radio communications to ‘hop’ from one frequency to another, so that Allied torpedoes couldn’t be detected by the Nazis. She was the ingenious inventor who planted a seed that would blossom into some of today’s most ubiquitous technology, including Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, GPS, cordless phones and cell phones.

To honor all the women I know and I’m connected with, whether you’re famous or not, your life matters, you are strong, empathetic and you make a difference. We are all “she-roes” in our own way.

Our Legacy, How Many Hearts Will We Touch?

It’s easy to get caught up in day to day life and forget about the memories we will leave behind, The sudden death of a photographer who recently shared his wisdom with me gave me pause to reflect on the fragility of life. Even though I didn’t know the man personally, my memories of him are of a magnificent photographer, a kind person who enjoyed what he did; and that he loved and appreciated his life. His passing triggered a journey into reflecting on my legacy and reminded me of how essential it is to be more mindful of the way we live, no matter the circumstances we are faced with. When we do depart this earthly life, it will not be the material possessions or money we leave but how we were as a person that will be etched in the minds of anyone we engaged with forever.

Reflecting upon the upending events of this year, I believe we’ve been given an opportunity or a silver lining in the midst of all of this to transition to a simpler, less frantic life and given more time to take stock of who we are and if we’re living as authentically as we can.

Consider setting some time aside to think about the legacy you want to leave behind: explore the recollections, narratives and reminiscences that will remain in the minds and hearts of those lives you touched and your contribution to future generations.

Bring Good Vibes with the Ancient Practice of Feng Shui

Whenever there are challenges I have no control of, I turn inward and to my surroundings. It lifts my soul and it changes the direction of my focus. My surroundings parallel how I want to feel using the practice of Feng Shui. Because I am naturally inclined to maintain an open flow, it makes sense for me.

I grew up in a clean clutter free home, so it was natural for me to apply the practices of Feng Shui, in fact I was quite excited when I discovered it. Over the years, I’ve learned to use Feng Shui no matter what the circumstances to echo the way I feel and how I want to experience the world around me.

Feng Shui is a simple common sense way to improve your environment, it’s not about decorating but is focused on natural energy flow and a clean, clutter-free home. It’s simple, fun and there’s a feeling of fresh energy everywhere once you’ve begun the transformation. The life-giving joy of Feng Shui is a great way to create an environment that has a favorable impact on you and your everyday life.

Feng Shui is a combination of an ancient art and science that goes back thousands of years. I know from first-hand experience that there is a significant change in the feeling and flow of energy when it is applied.

The philosophy of Feng Shui is a practice of looking at our living spaces and working environment and striking a balance with the natural world. The Chinese words “feng” and “shui” translate to mean “wind” and “water,” respectively. This concept derived from an ancient poem that talks about human life being connected and flowing with the environment around it. Anjie Cho

How to apply Feng Shui to any room

Step 1 – Commanding Positions That means the direction of the important furniture in each room. While your kitchen appliances have to remain where they are, you can rearrange other rooms to create a better flow. Never line anything up with a door or put your back to the door, simple and practical advice as you begin to choose new locations for your furniture. I suggest imagining it first before you move anything, consider the function and the outcome so you don’t have to move something heavy more than once.

Step 2 – Keep the house free of clutter – “Clutter is an energetic anchor that impedes the best things from unfolding in our lives,” Laura Benko Keeping a space devoid of clutter makes it feel light and easy , Feng Shui is not about a perfectly decorated home, but creating a happy, healthy space to enjoy your life.

Step 3 – Remove negative symbolism – Evaluate your space for any symbolic representation of anything showing up in your space that reflects any challenges and difficulties you’re been faced with, replace them with items of what you want to attract.

Step 4 – Maximize natural light – Natural light makes us happy and more positive, so the more of it the better. For this step, adding mirrors in room to reflect it will add light where it may not be as bright as you’d like it, the reflected light will lift the feeling of the room.

Step 5- Balance your work areas in the kitchen – While certain areas of the kitchen are unchangeable, organizing the work areas and other areas in the kitchen will make a big difference in the feeling of your space. As well you can change the color, any decor and improve the light. The time and effort to get that feeling are well worth it. I am just finishing making several major changes in the kitchen/dining space and it feels much better.

The experts in these videos on Feng Shui share other ideas and how to use the five elements in your space. Remember you can also use Feng Shui concepts outdoors as well, giving you a world of peace, joy and harmony.

To better understand and apply the elements by Ivy Marie Lim

For the right feng shui color palette for your home, Rodika Tchi

Furniture rearrangement and placement tips by Carol Hyder

Enjoy your journey and the increased energy flow for a happier, healthier life.

Never Undervalue the Power of Failure or Success without Pretense

Success is Not Final, Failure is Not Fatal: it is the Courage to Continue that Counts – Winston Churchill

When we’re born, our views of success and failure are already in place, not in our genes or DNA, but within our culture and the people we are raised by. In whatever capacity they’ve learned to handle mistakes, failure and success is what we are taught to believe, accept and the way we think of ourselves.

However, we can transform our beliefs and encounters with failure and success by learning to appreciate the power of creativity and unplanned life experiences. Failure is really about gaining wisdom, knowledge and understanding that mistakes are life lessons that encourage our growth. Success is not only about money or power but living your passion and purpose and knowing that it’s always there no matter what direction your life goes in.

Failure gives you courage, insight and character to keep trying but we have to stop worrying about how long it takes to achieve success and being focused on the lack of it.

There mare many facets of success, personal success is remembering who you are, where you come from, growth and improvement, while balanced success is being grateful, honest, faithful, loving, loyal and.maintaining our individuality,

One of my journeys with failure and success was my struggle with not having a perfect body as society defines it. My learned belief was that I would only enjoy a happy life if my body was that ideal yet unrealistic image. With each attempt to achieve that expectation there were failures filled with sadness, self loathing and frustration that I felt I had no way to overcome.

Then about two years ago I finally experienced peace of mind after I participated in a workshop focused on self love. I had an epiphany that helped me to focus on the healthy and strong body that I have. I saw myself as a deserving person, worthy and happy just as I was. I realized that the failure I’d been living was in my mind and it was up to me to allow myself to experience happiness no matter my body’s imperfections. My desire for fitness has never been to have an ideal body, but a very healthy one, so despite myself, I’ve achieved that outcome.

For me belief in a higher power is instrumental in achieving success. I’ve learned to recognize that I am a child of the Universe, created with the same components as I see in the stars and trees, an inherent presence with a purpose where mistakes are learning tools and success is about doing your best for the best outcome. A conscious definition of success is well said below:

“To live the lives we truly want and deserve, and not just the lives we settle for, we need a Third Metric,” she says, “a third measure of success that goes beyond the two metrics of money and power, and consists of four pillars: well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving.” Ariana Huffington, founder Huffington Post

Anyone who has read or seen Harry Potter knows the power of an extraordinary imagination and enormous success. However, you may not know the epic failures that J.K. Rowling experienced on her journey to the fairy tale life she lives now.

We struggle most of our lives trying to overcome failure to achieve success in whatever area of life we are passionate about. Take small steps, build your confidence, keep moving forward and don’t allow the outcome to be the focus of your attention, you never know what gifts failure and success will endow you with.

Self Narratives – Where They Come From and How to Change Them


“We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences, be they positive or negative, make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives. And, like a flowing river, those same experiences, and those yet to come, continue to influence and reshape the person we are, and the person we become. None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.”-B.J. Neblett

We are born into stories, storytelling is a natural part of being human. The stories we develop and tell become our life story, they form our perception of everything and everyone we encounter, as well are our self-perception and our beliefs. The present state of our lives is a result of those stories.

Self narratives define our way of seeing who we believe we are, our sense of self-worth and what we believe we are capable of, they help us connect with others and how we empathize. As we grow into adults, our narratives become our perception of the world.

Not only are we storytellers, we are story listeners. Narratives are woven into our heads and throughout our lives become very real to us even if they are imagined or nothing like any situation we may have experienced. Whether we are aware of it or not, we combine all of the elements of our stories to create an explanation of our lives. Our imagination combined with these stories can either pull us into misconceptions and suffering or draw us into a life of happiness, love and positive outcomes. We are the authors of our stories.

While not all stories we are told or tell are wrong or harmful, they are the foundation for many of the circumstances that we live every day. Like everyone else, my stories come from a variety of sources where I’ve created visuals of myself and my abilities. The difference for me came with my journey into mindfulness which has helped me tremendously with my self-narratives, whether I’m creating stories about myself, the people around me or any experiences I have.

The internalized stories we tell ourselves are our own personal myths. Like myths, our stories are a combination of fact and what may or may not be conjecture. They have villains and heroes that either propel us forward or hold us back. We can figure out where those stories originated by reflecting, looking at each part of who we are and where that stems from. We can edit, revise and interpret those stories even if limited by facts, we can also rewrite them. Consider this, our lives, our stories and our health are inextricably interwoven.


How do you recognize the stories you tell yourself, and if they are getting in your way?

Start by thinking through who you are. Write it down.

What are your qualities?

What do you struggle with? Take time with this, perhaps even coming back to it a few days later.

Ask others how they perceive you.

What do they say you’re good at?

Recognize the things in your story that make you uncomfortable, things you don’t like to admit but feel are true

Challenge the story.

Are those things you want to change?

Focus on really understanding those aspects of your narrative. Think through where they came from.

What was the root cause?

Imagine what life would be like if these weren’t part of your narrative. What would be different? (From Introvert, Dearby Peter Ash)

Mindful Ways to Unravel your Self-Narratives

Determine parts of a narrative you want to change – whether your stories are about yourself, other people, habits that you have, beliefs that you follow, stories that you’ve been telling and what parts of it really represent you, the way you feel, the way you see things and how you believe, then rework the story into an uplifting and pleasing story that fits with who you are.

Call the Story Out – in other words whatever you’ve been telling yourself, rethink and rephrase it to self-supporting narratives. If your stories are out of sync with who you really are, it is important to rewrite them so you are consciously creating a positive visual you can align with. Each and every word we say projects an image of who we believe we are, how we treat ourselves and others, whether we act or react or if we live with a loving or harsh approach to live. The way to build a better world is to start within ourselves.

Empower Rather Disempower Yourself – Create a positive future for yourself by stepping outside of your comfort zone and rewriting your self-narratives. We are the only ones on our journey, writing our story as we proceed each day. Like the words you write, the thoughts you have and the words you speak can be transitioned to empowering and positive stories that manifest gifts into your life that meet your wants and needs and fulfill a positive image of who you are.

When you live mindfully, you’ll come to understand that life never happens to you, it happens for you, no matter what the event. Events are neutral, it is the way we perceive what happens and what we say about the events we live that determines their impact. You can’t not have a story. Think of yourself as in a constant, developing relationship with your life: view your life as a partner and a whole, rather than a series of circumstances and events. See your life as a canvas that can be re-painted any way and at any time. What story do you want to tell yourself and those around you?

Final thoughts, everything we say is based on our attitude. Neutralize life, see it as a span of time with an undetermined number of years to go through our life experiences. We can either adapt and endure with a reactive attitude to situations 24/7 or think of our life as a blank canvas, creating each part of our story as we go along, responding in any way that’s in line with who we are.

Jodie Rogers is a coach, facilitator and skills trainer guiding professionals, individuals and corporate teams who need clarity, momentum and greater self-awareness to enable change to happen.

Expert Advice from Benjamin Button: “It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. You can change or stay the same; there are no rules to this thing. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

A New Way to Stop Overplanning; Living One Day at a Time

One day at a time- this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.” — Ida Scott Taylor

Before I relaxed into a natural life of consciousness, I was so focused on my past “mistakes” and how my future was going to go.  No matter what I did, the past never changed and my future plans had a mind of their own. It was truly exhausting living that way.  I had no idea that I was letting the moment I was in slip into oblivion.  The growing and learning process was slow with many challenges that kept pulling me into understanding that the moment I was in was precious and the only thing that I was sure of.  Now my life is focused on living one day at a time, never letting what I’ve experienced in the past or what may come in the future stop me from enjoying my life right now.

Years ago, I tried a suggested practice someone defines as living backward in time. Its not new for some, but for many people it is a different way of treating life. Living backward means living in the now as if it’s the future that you envision. Setting an intention means thinking forward in time, living in the present means being here now. A way to manage both is to combine the two. That is living “as if”, instead of “what if”and I can attest that it’s very effective. For example, instead of going on a diet to lose weight because your overweight with the potential of gaining it back, live as if you’re 15 pounds lighter, living healthier and the owner of a different lifestyle, your entire way of living and thinking will be forever changed.

Here are several suggestions that I’ve used to re-adjust my thinking to a backward way of living.

  1. Accept uncertainty. It’s impossible to predict the future
  2. Take action, talking about changing usually requires less energy than actually doing it
  3. Stay focused on the day. Start with letting go of planning every minute of your day and go with the flow, I do this very successfully and actually get more done
  4. When engaging with people, put your full attention on them and your conversation, no more half listening or allowing any distractions 
  5. Always have a positive and expectant attitude, smile often, life has a million possibilities
  6. Forgive forgive, forgive past hurts, forgiving is not allowing a person to get away with something, it is about removing yourself from the situation completely and freeing yourself be present and move on
  7. Stop worrying, whatever happens tomorrow, happens, worrying doesn’t change anything and makes it harder for you to maintain your sanity and be present
  8. Let go of past accomplishments, don’t let whatever successes you’ve had in the past interfere with your present, however great they were, they don’t define you or what your capable of
  9. Create your intention now as if it is already successful and the way you envision your future life and dream big

To help me to stay aligned with this way of life, I practice the following habitually so I never slip back into an old, ineffective way of living.  These powerful practices are simple and very effective.

  • Meditate – There are lots of ways to meditate, rather than just lying or sitting still, you can walk, dance, write, listen to music while allowing your mind to go blank and just be, I do it all of the time and find myself thinking less, moving through my day mindfully and so at peace.
  • No Next – imagine that there is no next event, next task, next person or next anything to get to. Invite yourself to stop preparing or getting ready for something else to come. Deliberately remove all elses. Meet now with nowhere and nothing else still to get to. This practice helps you to stay focused on what you’re doing or who your engaging with.
  • See Everything as a Teacher. When you’re feeling frustrated with someone, stressed by work, upset or grieving about a difficult situation or the health of a loved one, just feeling anxious about anything, pause and see this person or situation as a teacher. I find that when you ask yourself what can I learn from what’s going on then the mind is focused on a solution for peace of mind in the moment.
  1. The Power of Self-Reflection – Asking yourself questions keeps you focused on self-improvement and ensures that you are as fulfilled as possible.  What attachments can you see in yourself that are causing you to project to the future or relive the past? What stories are you telling yourself that are causing you to feel this way? What can you let go of? What can you appreciate about this moment that you’re taking for granted? 

We create our lives, so now decide the kind of life you would like to create for yourself and what that life would look like. Then, live it now as if that life and lifestyle were yours already.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha.

Thank you for reading my post and your time.

Living in a Harmonious Society, Lessons from Ancient Egypt

 

 

In ancient Egypt, the more good deeds you did, the lighter your heart became. If your heart was not light, you could not board Ra’s board and sail away into your Afterlife.  Lin Dunn, Ancient Egypt for Kids

This quote explains how ancient Egyptian’s knew that practicing selfless good deeds, living in harmony within their community and remembering that what they did and how they treated others was the ticket to a happy transition when the time came for them to leave this earth plane. While that may appear to be selfish, in truth, it was simply a way of life and a value system that was and is handed down from one generation to the next.

Today, In Cairo as well as major cities in Egypt, a large number of old Egyptian traditions remain from the time of the Pharaohs, and contrast with pure tribal customs brought in by many invaders throughout the centuries. UNESCO

How do you view the human existence?  How do you see the relationship between humanity and nature? What do you think you can do to be more in alignment and harmony with nature and your fellow-man?

I think we can all agree that we are living in very turbulent times, chaos seems to be the dominating factor everywhere we turn. From warring countries to road rage, the world seems to be at a point where it’s clear that we have to find another way to live or humanity will disappear. This is where living mindfully is successful because it’s about being thoughtful, kind, compassionate, observant and knowing that outside events and experiences are not the guideposts for your life, but living consciously within our community to create a harmonious existence is.

From everything I’ve learned over years of research and reading, if we go back in time to a wise and experienced society like the Egyptians, through a change in belief, we can implement harmony, collaboration and cooperation. While the ancients may have had an occasional war with their neighbors; within their society balance reigned. If there were any internal uprisings, they were settled with negotiation or conformity until something changed in order to maintain peace.

One major reason for their success was the common but strong belief in a wonderful life after death. It was not an absolute, it had to be earned, the belief was so strong that all levels of society conducted themselves to assure a safe passage to the afterlife.

I’m not suggesting that everyone believe in life after death, I am suggesting that if we all believed in living in harmony with nature and the balance it can bring, we would effectively be changing the way we interact with each other. Ancient Egyptians were extremely intelligent, their engineering accomplishments are far superior to those we’ve seen in the 21st century.  If they were wise and quick-witted enough to conduct a harmonious social life, settle grievances through a spirit of reciprocation and recognize the vital links between humans, nature and the divine, then so can we.

So what changes can we make?  Of course, the world wasn’t populated the way it is now when the ancients were alive, but in my way of seeing things, change happens one person at a time.  If we choose to embrace a healthy respect for nature, mindfulness and cooperation and live that wherever we go, we can eventually recreate the same kind of world the ancient Egyptians lived in.

For instance, I recently learned that one American rancher achieved more success and connection with his community by leaving commercial ranching behind to create his own compassionate, natural and humane ranch. By following his inner guidance, he inspired many other ranchers to do the same. In another instance, a gentleman who owns a small successful farm, founded a farming coop to help his community maintain their small farms rather than try to fight each other or large commercial farms. This happened because the founder was determined to continue to do what he loved and he knew the community he lived in wanted to do the same, forging social harmony and aligning with nature.

In my life, I moved into a situation where there was stress, conflict and tension between roommates. The love, compassion and balanced approach to situations I’ve brought has changed everything, one roommate even remarked that I am a miracle. We can all be and bring a miracle to effect harmony and live in tune with nature if we let go of the old way of doing things by creating harmony and peace with just our presence.

Ancient Egyptians believed the purpose of life was to nourish the seeds of the divine within us all, they revered the natural world. It is happening slowly as more and more people are coming to understand that we are all linked. People are realizing that life is better for everyone if we live more naturally and are more aware of the vital role we play in caring for nature and each other. I believe It is the only way humanity is going to survive and progress.

Perhaps the greatest lesson to be learnt from the wisdom of sacred traditions is also the
simplest; to honor creation by nurturing a kinship with nature. UNESCO

Nature has life all figured out, we just have to understand her and live in harmony with it. Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

Competition, Thief of Joy

Life for us has become an endless succession of contests. From the moment the alarm clock rings until sleep overtakes us again, from the time we are toddlers until the day we die, we are busy struggling to outdo others. This is our posture at work and at school, on the playing field and back at home. It is the common denominator of American life. Alfie Kohn

The title of this blog almost sounds like a misnomer because the majority of the human race thinks of competition as sports, games, fun, winning a medal or a trophy and as being a winner.  How can competition rob us of the enjoyment and pleasure we feel when it appears to bestow us with a high of being number one.

But, I ask that you think back throughout your life whenever you were involved in anything competitive, how did you feel when someone else won?

I’ve reflected on competition for a long time especially when the biggest and most well-known competition, the Olympics began.  I don’t watch the games but I realized that there are only a handful of “winners” and there are hundreds of people who no one hears about, people who didn’t place or win who worked just as hard as the few on top. People are mesmerized for two weeks with the glamour of the entertainment and energy of the games, but once they’re over, it’s all forgotten as we get on with our lives.  Interestingly, all of the people participating spend most of their lives focused on training and preparing to win and for that one big moment, then it’s over.  The winners stand on the podium and are handed a medal and the world applauds.  There is monetary gain for only a small percentage of the athletes who are given an opportunity for endorsements, the rest are forgotten and go back to their lives. Do we ever hear about or know how those who didn’t win feel or how their life went afterward?

Through my research,  I’ve learned that cooperation not competition is our natural state of being.  We aren’t born hostile with the intention of bringing someone else down, that behavior is handed down from one generation to the next. We unnaturally push ourselves to best someone because we’re taught that being a winner is the best.  But, in truth, competition is filled with selfishness while we hope for the downfall of others, it is filled with anxiety, stress and pressure. Once we start down the road of winning, once is never enough, it almost becomes necessary for our confidence and self-esteem, putting us in a constant state competitive power.

Emerging research shows that competition is deleterious in many ways.

  • With children, competition serves to dissolve self-confidence and spread self-doubt, even among frequent winners who learn to become dependent on external sources of validation.
  • Among adults, competition leads directly to hostility and greed, both of which are the enemies of progress.

If we want to advance our society and ourselves, we must learn that competition is not the path to victory — cooperation is. Tiffany Rowe

I’m  not competitive by nature, when playing games, I enjoy the process more than who wins or loses.  Putting that in context, for me the journey in any competition is more rife with tools to learn, skill building and enjoyment.

There are many tribal societies that thrive on cooperative living and have endured for centuries.  Competition as a whole encourages greed, betrayal, to be better than others, the importance of being a winner, the lack of compassion, cooperation and most of all an absence of kindness. Competition is toxic in relationships, in business, education, in all of life. There is no benefit when someone feels inferior, lacks self-confidence, is depressed or believes they aren’t good enough. I believe it is time to instill cooperation and encourage each other to be the best person we can be.

The  result of competition is radical climate change, biological and nuclear warfare, rampant habitat destruction, water shortages, and extremes in global wealth and poverty. Louise Palmer

Cooperation is beneficial not to a few but to everyone, here are some of the advantages:

  1. Cooperative Play – A bond is formed when challenge, discovery and success is shared by everyone.
  2.  Cooperative Learning and Work –  When we compete whether at work or in school, we are invested in ourselves and what will benefit us without giving thought to anyone else, we consider everyone our rival.  But, when we cooperate, we support and help each other, giving each individual value and respect. Rather than striving to be number one, the intention is that everyone succeed, it shifts us away from greed, selfishness, aggression, anger and hurt feelings. Cooperation creates an environment of unity, openness, honesty and trust.
  3. Cooperative Activities for our Well-Being  – Competition causes enormous stress, anxiety, hostility, embarrassment and tension, can you imagine the state of our health? Cooperative activities create an atmosphere of play, relaxation and enjoying ourselves without judgment, the foundation for healthy and playful fun.

I’d like to conclude with this very powerful quote:

We destroy the love of learning in children, which is so strong when they are small, by encouraging and compelling them to work for petty and contemptible rewards–gold stars, or papers marked 100 and tacked to the wall, or A’s on report cards, or honor rolls, or dean’s lists, or Phi Beta Kappa keys–in short, for the ignoble satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else.  John Holt

Thank you, I appreciate your time.

Laura

Making Your Life What You Want it To Be

Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts, it you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.  MoveMe Quotes

I believe we all forget whose in charge of our lives, especially when we’re in the midst of situations that overwhelm us or seem uncontrollable.  For me, it used to almost feel easier to just give up or go back to living unconsciously. But then I’d hear the voice in my heart telling me to keep trying, to make a choice, to use my wisdom and let goodness happen and I have. This is a gentle reminder that we don’t have to be unhappy or live with the belief that only some “lucky” people have a charmed and satisfying life.

Being in control of your life comes by believing in yourself and by not allowing the fear of obstacles, challenges or change stop you. Remember you have a choice and you can learn to get past the old belief that you’re not good enough to make a real contribution to the world.  Believing we’re here for a purpose can greatly reduce our suffering and the feeling of being out of control because even if we forget, we are always in the driver’s seat of the direction of our lives. This is where we can rise above the limited life we’ve allowed ourselves to live by doing something on behalf of ourselves because we know we are worth it.

I can say with confidence that you can experience the impossible and that leads you from misery to unexpected joy and peace. As with any spiritual endeavor, this way of believing is knowing that you’ll have to take steps out of your comfort zone and be okay with it. This is where we learn to power through fear, head on. Every time we experience the unknown, fear will try to sneak in to stop us and that’s okay. Don’t ignore it or try to avoid it, just don’t be swallowed up by fear. Allow yourself to be afraid and just keep reminding yourself that you can do this, take a deep breath and keep going. 

Here are some ideas to consider to master your life:

  • Rely more on your “sixth” sense
  • Put your happiness and health first
  • Live in the present moment
  • Create plans that are open to change because that is how life in the control seat is
  • Be okay with living out of your comfort zone
  • Stop thinking so much, have faith in the unseen
  • Believe in the impossible
  • Create some rituals or routines for a well-balanced life
  • Nothing is set in stone, you have choices
  • Obstacles are a part of the journey for you to rise above
  • Take time for stillness or meditation, this is truly powerful step
  • Pursue meaning over pleasure, a life of meaning is why we are here
  • Be imaginative, create outside the box
  • No matter how things look, keep your eyes on the prize of a purposeful life

I’d like to end with this powerful and profound quote:

“Never say that you can’t do something, or that something seems impossible, or that something can’t be done, no matter how discouraging or harrowing it may be; human beings are limited only by what we allow ourselves to be limited by: our own minds. We are each the masters of our own reality; when we become self-aware to this: absolutely anything in the world is possible.

Master yourself, and become king of the world around you. Let no odds, chastisement, exile, doubt, fear, or ANY mental viruses prevent you from accomplishing your dreams. Never be a victim of life; be it’s conqueror.” ― Mike Norton

Thank you for reading my post and your time.

Change your life in 2018, Laura