Self-sabotage is not always apparent, it can show up as disease, stress, anger, depression, etc. The discovery of it and healing it is life changing. From my experience, you may gain feelings of self-empowerment, feel good about yourself, release toxic situations and people from your life, care more about what you think than what others do and finally know what harmony and inner peace feels like.
When you’re in conflict with yourself and desperately trying to push through whatever your faced with just know that you’re not alone. Self-sabotage is a common, little discussed, persistent problem many of us are dealing with. You will know in your heart when you’ve had enough and you’re sick and tired of feeling out of control of your life.
There are overt forms of dependency and self-abuse such as alcohol, drugs, food, etc. Then there are more subtle forms of dependency such as denial of self-love, lousy relationships, being solitary, anger, lashing out, etc. I realized this just recently when I had an epiphany that I was conditionalizing the love for myself based on my performance and my inability to be more spiritual than what I thought I was. The truth is I am always spiritual and always doing the best I can, as we all are, we just have to realize our worth and just be.
I am very familiar with self-sabotage, in my case my crutch only made me fat and a target for a variety of diseases. I ate a lot, when I was upset, when I was angry, when I was sad, when I didn’t know what to do, etc. I always managed to consume enough to shove those feelings of inadequacy away. I’ve lived with self-sabotage for years and I didn’t know it. When eating didn’t work anymore, I choose to see myself as a victim. I judged and blamed myself and the other person for the way my life was. I allowed the problems and problem people to swallow me and my life up. Somehow I always managed to avoid the truth of being in constant conflict with myself .
My solutions finally came when I realized I was worthy of being at peace and enjoying my life. I did inner work, lived my truth by accepting myself as I was and learning to love myself enough to no longer berate and abuse myself with words I would never say to my friends or family. While I cannot tell you how to solve whatever form of self-sabotage you’ve lived with or how to stop the addiction you’re leaning on to help you through, I do know that it is possible to find your way out, to rise above it and move on with your life.
It takes time and perseverance to conquer this way of being, but I can suggest a few ways you can try.
- Stop yourself from thinking about whatever you’re faced with and go do something to help you relax
- In place of trying to “figure” it out, go inside to find out what triggers you
- Go out into nature to really hear what your instincts are trying to tell you
- Create a private video blog or journal to get the root of your self-sabotage
- The actual issues matter less than the why you continually sabotage yourself and why it is dominating your life
- What you feel matters, allow yourself to feel sad, angry, upset, whatever feelings arise let them, just don’t get swallowed up by them, once you feel it, acknowledge them then move on
- Talk with someone you trust to help you find the right solution
- Seek professional help if that is what you know you should do
- No matter what anyone in your life has experienced, you have the right to choose what you know in your heart is right for you.
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