The Spirit of Aloha, More Than Hello or Goodbye

What I’ve done over the past several years when I am in a difficult or unusual situation is turn my attention to positive activities to reduce stress and to make my life more enjoyable.

While the world is in chaos, it is a great time to practice self-love, compassion and kindness. Years ago I discovered that the word Aloha means more than hello and goodbye it is a way of life philosophy:

“Aloha is a way of living and treating each other with love and respect. Its deep meaning starts by teaching ourselves to love our own beings first and afterwards to spread the love to others.

“When you live the Spirit of Aloha, you create positive feelings and thoughts, which are never gone. They exist in space, multiply and spread over to others.” (from the state of Hawaii website)

Live in a State of Love, Laura

A Time for Mindfulness, The Sky Isn’t Falling, Maintain Serenity

Grocery shopping, usually an enjoyable experience for me was a journey into self-mastery. because I absorb and am naturally very sensitive to the energy of those around me. As I quietly walked through the store, the fear and anxiety were palpable. I witnessed out of control, panicked and worried people collecting multiple carts with several family members, pushing, shoving and racing through the store scooping large quantities of merchandise into their carts as if the world was coming to an end. While there was a temptation to find fault and judge, for my own self-protection I remained focused on what I was doing, stayed to myself and concentrated on departing when I was done.

The condition of the store (images below) was unthinkable. As the cashier was ringing me out, we chatted about the state of things, she said it is the “Chicken Little” story come to life.

“The moral of the Chicken Little story is to have courage, even when it feels like the sky is falling.

To make things worse, the media is exploding with a steady stream of inflated piffle and misinformation that frightens and upsets people. This only increases unnecessary fear that brings extreme psychological stress and out of control anxiety only increasing weakened immune systems. Fear spreading is the real danger, calm and common sense are the catalysts to avoid extreme situations that can and will take place if fear continues to dominate a very controllable circumstance.

EFFECTIVE MINDFULNESS Practices

Exercise such as:

• Yoga, stretching, walking

Aromatherapy, use these scents to increase calm:

• Lavender
• Vetiver
• Bergamot
• Roman chamomile
• Neroli
• Frankincense
• Sandalwood
• Ylang ylang
• Orange or orange blossom
• Geranium

Take supplements to increase wellness:

• ashwagandha,
• omega-3
• fatty acids,
• green tea
• lemon balm
• valerian
• kava kava

• Reduce caffeine
• Laugh
• Eat and sleep well

Practice mindfulness through:

• meditation
• unplug, be present in the moment
• watching your thoughts when they wander

Create a mini arts program for yourself:

• play games, read a novel, relax with music

As with every difficult situation we are challenged by, It’s important to remember all we can do is our best, continue to live our lives and expect the best outcome. Whatever your spiritual practices, we can all contribute by withholding judgment, remain considerate, compassionate and understanding.

The truth is:

“The vast majority of cases are going to be mild, and people are going to recover just like they do from a cold or flu-like illness.”— Dr. Amesh Adalja

Stay well, be at peace; find the sacredness and joy in everyday life.

Choose Wisely, Choose Intentionally

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” —Edwin Markham

We live most of our lives believing that we are limited or have no choice, especially in difficult situations. It doesn’t have to be that way, rather than thinking what’s the use and giving up, believe in a better future, decide a course of action by using your life experience and instincts for an outcome that you desire. Whenever I’ve been in a position that required I make a choice especially if it’s complex, I make sure that my happiness and peace of mind are the primary conditions for my final decision.

Every time you’ve had a complicated choice to make, are you choosing with your happiness and values as a priority or on another person’s perception, opinions and feelings with the expectation that you’ll have to live with an outcome that you don’t want?

That question is to prompt you to rethink your patterns;  what are your priorities in making tough decisions, are you choosing based on logic or your intuition? Many of the choices we make are complex and may take much consideration, our values and quality of life have to be a top priority if we want to be happy and fulfilled. Remember if it is to be, it’s up to you, even if it means leaving your comfort zone.

Consider the outcome when you decide with someone else’s life in mind before your own.  Are you really being selfish if you decide on behalf of what works for you?  In my opinion, no.  Making choices that are right for us means we cannot be and should not ever be responsible for someone else’s happiness.

Choosing for ourselves is a right we all deserve, especially since most of us have dealt with people who’ve tried to take our ability to choose away.  Only you know how you want your life to be, never, ever is that anyone’s decision but yours.  That is why choosing consciously and relying on your intuition are optimal ways for you to decide.

Choices have a number of possibilities whether real or imagined, ultimately the choices we make will affect our lives forever. Just think about all of the events in history that have taken place because someone made a choice to do something differently.  You cannot control the world, but you can control how you respond to situations and the choices you make to deal with them. From my own personal experience, no matter what happens outside of you, when you stay focused on making a decision based on what is right for you and you trust yourself, happiness is just a choice away.

Some questions to ask yourself and ways you can make a decision from James Van Praagh:

1. What is important and valuable to you? What you value may not be of much import to someone else. So know what you value most.
2. Don’t lose focus on your future. Many people tend to make choices based on life as it appears now instead of looking to the future. Does your choice and its ramifications stay within the goals that you have set for yourself for the future?
3. Have you looked at all the alternatives and considered different scenarios? Sometimes you just might consider a different outcome.
4. How important is this decision, and are you willing to work on it? Don’t get caught up with how important a choice is, but — better yet — what a positive impact this has on your life.
5. Don’t forget to use your “intuition” for your choice instead of your head.

I believe we all have a purpose and path that is affected by the free will choices we make. If we make choices by paying attention to our inner guidance, how God is speaking to us and what we feel in our heart, our path will be forever changed if we just flip the switch and choose.

Learn to love you… You will make so many choices differently when you love and respect yourself. Courtney Seard,
Consultant and Coach

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

Laura

 

 

Competition, Thief of Joy

Life for us has become an endless succession of contests. From the moment the alarm clock rings until sleep overtakes us again, from the time we are toddlers until the day we die, we are busy struggling to outdo others. This is our posture at work and at school, on the playing field and back at home. It is the common denominator of American life. Alfie Kohn

The title of this blog almost sounds like a misnomer because the majority of the human race thinks of competition as sports, games, fun, winning a medal or a trophy and as being a winner.  How can competition rob us of the enjoyment and pleasure we feel when it appears to bestow us with a high of being number one.

But, I ask that you think back throughout your life whenever you were involved in anything competitive, how did you feel when someone else won?

I’ve reflected on competition for a long time especially when the biggest and most well-known competition, the Olympics began.  I don’t watch the games but I realized that there are only a handful of “winners” and there are hundreds of people who no one hears about, people who didn’t place or win who worked just as hard as the few on top. People are mesmerized for two weeks with the glamour of the entertainment and energy of the games, but once they’re over, it’s all forgotten as we get on with our lives.  Interestingly, all of the people participating spend most of their lives focused on training and preparing to win and for that one big moment, then it’s over.  The winners stand on the podium and are handed a medal and the world applauds.  There is monetary gain for only a small percentage of the athletes who are given an opportunity for endorsements, the rest are forgotten and go back to their lives. Do we ever hear about or know how those who didn’t win feel or how their life went afterward?

Through my research,  I’ve learned that cooperation not competition is our natural state of being.  We aren’t born hostile with the intention of bringing someone else down, that behavior is handed down from one generation to the next. We unnaturally push ourselves to best someone because we’re taught that being a winner is the best.  But, in truth, competition is filled with selfishness while we hope for the downfall of others, it is filled with anxiety, stress and pressure. Once we start down the road of winning, once is never enough, it almost becomes necessary for our confidence and self-esteem, putting us in a constant state competitive power.

Emerging research shows that competition is deleterious in many ways.

• With children, competition serves to dissolve self-confidence and spread self-doubt, even among frequent winners who learn to become dependent on external sources of validation.
• Among adults, competition leads directly to hostility and greed, both of which are the enemies of progress.

If we want to advance our society and ourselves, we must learn that competition is not the path to victory — cooperation is. Tiffany Rowe

I’m  not competitive by nature, when playing games, I enjoy the process more than who wins or loses.  Putting that in context, for me the journey in any competition is more rife with tools to learn, skill building and enjoyment.

There are many tribal societies that thrive on cooperative living and have endured for centuries.  Competition as a whole encourages greed, betrayal, to be better than others, the importance of being a winner, the lack of compassion, cooperation and most of all an absence of kindness. Competition is toxic in relationships, in business, education, in all of life. There is no benefit when someone feels inferior, lacks self-confidence, is depressed or believes they aren’t good enough. I believe it is time to instill cooperation and encourage each other to be the best person we can be.

The  result of competition is radical climate change, biological and nuclear warfare, rampant habitat destruction, water shortages, and extremes in global wealth and poverty. Louise Palmer

Cooperation is beneficial not to a few but to everyone, here are some of the advantages:

1. Cooperative Play – A bond is formed when challenge, discovery and success is shared by everyone.
2.  Cooperative Learning and Work –  When we compete whether at work or in school, we are invested in ourselves and what will benefit us without giving thought to anyone else, we consider everyone our rival.  But, when we cooperate, we support and help each other, giving each individual value and respect. Rather than striving to be number one, the intention is that everyone succeed, it shifts us away from greed, selfishness, aggression, anger and hurt feelings. Cooperation creates an environment of unity, openness, honesty and trust.
3. Cooperative Activities for our Well-Being  – Competition causes enormous stress, anxiety, hostility, embarrassment and tension, can you imagine the state of our health? Cooperative activities create an atmosphere of play, relaxation and enjoying ourselves without judgment, the foundation for healthy and playful fun.

I’d like to conclude with this very powerful quote:

We destroy the love of learning in children, which is so strong when they are small, by encouraging and compelling them to work for petty and contemptible rewards–gold stars, or papers marked 100 and tacked to the wall, or A’s on report cards, or honor rolls, or dean’s lists, or Phi Beta Kappa keys–in short, for the ignoble satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else.  John Holt

Thank you, I appreciate your time.

Laura

Inner Peace = World Peace

“World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.” Dalai Lama

I’ve learned to achieve inner peace even when there is chaos around me simply by just being and not allowing outside problems affect my peace of mind.  This is a state of harmony everyone can achieve with practice.

Inner peace is something most of us want but don’t have or know how to achieve. I believe that when we’re inundated with the stresses of the world, work, daily life demands, kids and tight schedules, it is difficult to imagine how we can ever be at peace. Not being in a state of peace is a learned behavior, we are very capable of unlearning something at any time, especially when we truly desire change. When we make inner peace a priority instead of what is going on around us, it will change the way we see everything, our family, job, relationships, our health and state of mind and the world.

“Peace is not something you wish for, it is something you make, something you are, something you do, and something you give away.”  ― Robert Fulghum

It Starts with You

It is my belief and experience that global peace begins inside of each and every one of us.  Of course we all have busy lives; it is easy to get caught up in the routine we follow every day. Not that daily life routines aren’t important, even venerable, but the approach we take and the way we handle what takes place each day makes a huge difference. There is a distinction between approaching things unconsciously with little attention paid and doing things with intention of purpose peacefully.  The basis of inner peace is simply people willing to take responsibility for their own peace and peacefulness.

Inner peace isn’t about changing what is going on outside of you, it is about changing what’s going on inside you by managing how you are, which in turn affects others in your family, your neighborhood, your community and eventually the world.

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” – Pema Chodron

Peace Mind-Map

Inner Peace – Simply

Start with something as simple and natural as changing the way you wake up in the morning. Most people start their morning by preparing for a hectic schedule and going through a preview of the day before they even rise from bed then the turmoil begins, because that is the way things have always been done. Inner peace calls for you to stop that process and recreate it by consciously waking; as you rise in the morning, start by simply saying thank you just for being alive, then take a few long, slow deep breaths, smile and start your day as if you mean it.  Stop the daily preview chatter by slowing your mind and reminding yourself to be calm; that you are in charge not the commotion or order of the day.  I am not suggesting passivity by being indifferent and unresponsive,  but by being calm or at peace exudes tranquility and thoughtfulness.

Be truly grateful. We have a tendency to take what we are fortunate to have for granted. Start each day with appreciation for what seems ordinary: running water, electricity, the stove, clean dishes, your children, spouse, your family, your pets; you get the idea. When we begin to give thanks for what we already have no matter how simple, it brings a feeling of appreciation. Thankfulness and awareness for the good things in our lives is a good start to experiencing internal peace.

Additional Ways to Inner Peace (by HENRIK EDBERG )

1. Set limits.
2. Find a relaxation technique that work for you.
3. Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.
4. Slow down.
5. Unclutter your world, unclutter your mind.
6. Use a minimalistic workspace.
7. Be 10 minutes early.
8. Breathe
9. Remember the 5 little words that’ll help you to stay sane: “one thing at a time. “

” If there’s no inner peace, people can’t give it to you. The husband can’t give it to you. Your children can’t give it to you. You have to give it to you.”  Linda Evans

Peace Improves Your Health

Achieving inner peace is the gateway to improved health.  Instead of allowing what is taking place in your life to be the master, why not make how you feel and the way you want your life to be a priority. That will put the control of you in your hands instead of the outside world.  True inner peace is the best medicine for your overall state of wellness. Did you know that when you remain upset about something that happened in the past and when you repeat the story that your body returns to a state of distress, as if it is in the actual situation again? That form of stress is dangerous to your health and the beginning point for disease.

Health Benefits of Inner Peace

•  It lowers oxygen consumption.
• It decreases respiratory rate.
• It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
• Increases exercise tolerance.
• Leads to a deeper level of physical relaxation.
• Good for people with high blood pressure.
• Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
• Decreases muscle tension
• Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis etc.
• Reduces Pre-menstrual Syndrome symptoms.
• Helps in post-operative healing.
• Enhances the immune system.
• Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
• Enhances energy, strength and vigor.
• Helps with weight loss
• Reduction of free radicals, less tissue damage
• Higher skin resistance
• Drop in cholesterol levels, lowers risk of cardiovascular disease.
• Improved flow of air to the lungs resulting in easier breathing.
• Decreases the aging process.
• Prevents, slows or controls pain of chronic diseases
• Makes you sweat less
• Cures headaches & migraines
• Greater Orderliness of Brain Functioning
• Reduced Need for Medical Care
• Less energy wasted
• More inclined to sports, activities
• Significant relief from asthma
• Improved performance in athletic events
• Normalizes to your ideal weight
• Harmonizes our endocrine system
• Relaxes our nervous system
• Produces lasting beneficial changes in brain electrical activity
• Cure infertility (the stresses of infertility can interfere with the release of hormones that regulate ovulation). (Courtesy of peacerevolution.net)

Inner peace is our natural state of being

When we respond to what is going on in front of us instead of reacting or acting irrationally no matter what it is, is when we will know that we are capable of inner peace. Worry and anxiety never ever changes anything, in fact it stops you from making sound choices and experiencing clarity.  Inner peace helps you to develop courage, strength, resilience and an understanding that life is cyclical. Even though you’re going through a bundle of emotions, you will better be able to handle something difficult when you’re in a state of peace. Seek ways to calm yourself and improve your self-talk to help you stay on the path.  When you’re in a state of peace, self-care will be at the top of your list instead of the bottom.

Keys to Inner Peace

Assistant professor at the University of Texas-MD Anderson Cancer Center and at the UT Medical School, Alejandro Chaoul, teaches courses in their Integrative Medicine program. His work on mind-body practice as an integrative cancer care include Tibetan yoga and meditation. In this video he shares how he has helped many reach a new level of inner peace and health.

“Keys To Inner Peace”

I sincerely appreciate your time, thank you for reading my post.

Laura

Blessings and Seasons Greetings to You All

My life has changed so dramatically this year. I am sincerely grateful for the gift of change and the opportunities to be more loving and to accept love and kindness.

Mandy and I are enjoying the holiday season with my family this year. Thank you for following my blog and for your support. I wish everyone a season of love and kindness.

Holiday Greetings from Wyoming

 

How Experiencing the Power of Being Guided by the Universe Can Change Your Life

 

I’ve struggled for years trying to figure out how to go with the flow of the Universe. I tried mantras, positive affirmations, all of the tips and tricks that I read about, nothing seemed to work. I finally realized that it isn’t anything outside of us that we do, but what comes from our hearts that makes the difference.  Even if all of the people, situations or events seem to be going against us, they are really for us to benefit from.

I began listening, really listening to my inner voice, taking guided action and stopping right there.  I didn’t force anything, I didn’t try to make something happen or tell myself it was all a mistake and I was doomed, I allowed whatever was supposed to happen come about on its own. It isn’t easy at all, but when we are living spiritually in the true sense, it isn’t supposed to be.  So, I improved myself by not allowing my thinking brain to try to coerce the situation in my time and the way I thought it should go. Instead, I allowed my intuition to take the lead.

If everything in our lives happens for a reason (a cliché, I know) then we are being guided to learn from each situation powerful lessons that help us become who we are meant to be.  If things become unbearable as it did for me, then the Universe is putting us on a fast track for big change and big lessons. Every idea that just popped up, I followed, I knew they were coming from a higher source.

Working with the Universe is learning to stop forcing situations to be anything other than what they are.  Then listening to what your inner voice tells you, not your thoughts but your gut instinct, it knows just what you should do next. Then we have to accept the things that take place from it, no matter how you imagine a situation going, just go with the flow.  It is a matter of being open, patient, trusting and having faith that it will all work out.

The Universe, in all of its wisdom and understanding, will take care of you in the best way possible.  I know that because I am on the other side of a situation that was put there for me to experience the beauty of having your back against a wall and the Universe coming to the rescue.

I have no idea how my life is going to unfold, but I know now that I am right where I am supposed to be and the Universe has my back.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

 

 

A New Beginning for Me, Returning Home

After 18 years in Florida, I am finally returning to the wide open spaces of the West, a dream I’ve had for sometime.  In a week and half I will drive a 10-foot moving truck across country for the first time to Wyoming. I will spend several months with my beloved sister and her husband, then return home to Arizona.

You can take the girl out of Arizona but you can never take Arizona out of the girl. I’ve discovered that you never move because of a job, it is the wrong reason to pull up stakes to give up everyone and everything you love.  Big life changes should never be a reaction to a problem, they follow you everywhere you go. Change should always be a choice and felt in your heart.

As I count down to my departure, I will remember the experiences and places that gave me pleasure. It is with great excitement and nervousness that I embark on this new beginning of my life.

My deepest desires for anyone who is at crossroads are that you let go of your limited beliefs and plans and let God co-create with you to arrive at the answers that you are seeking. From first hand experience, the outcome may not be what you imagined, but it will be what you want and need.

I sincerely appreciate your time and reading my post.

Food – the Power of Rituals and Purpose

This image is a stock Google image.

In many cultures meals are an event and a meaningful part of daily life because it is believed that there is much more to eating than satisfying hunger. In our modern world, we’ve forgotten that food is supposed to be an experience connecting us with each other and all of life. Meal preparation and eating should be an expression of love, paying attention and care. Giving that gift of love means preparing real food that is grown with the elements of nature; earth, water, air and sunshine.

I started cooking when I was a young girl. In my family, food has been a way to connect with each other. Making a meal has always been a time to celebrate life, have fun, enjoy the process of creating, then eating a magnificent meal, not just because of the ingredients but because it’s infused with love. My mom had no idea how to cook when she got married; she was an eager and willing student ready to try anything, we all learned so much from her. My sister, late brother and I all cook, we always talk about food, what we’ve made, how we made it, the way it tasted and why we made it. There is something very magical about a meal made with love and passion.

People have created mealtime rituals around the holidays and special occasions, but for the remainder of the year in most cases, meals are disjointed and forgettable. Adopting rituals around food makes meals more memorable, brings us into the present moment and helps us focus our intention.

Even if cooking isn’t at the top of your list for fun things to do, it can be when you add meaning to it. While adding meaning and ritual to food can be intimidating, according to William Doherty, PhD, an advocate of shared mealtimes, “a ritual is just an emotionally significant practice one undertakes routinely“.

Mealtime practices can be as simple as giving thanks for what you’re about to eat or celebrating the meal for no reason. Food made with the addition of ritual and meaning tastes so much better than something store-bought or thrown together to fill an empty stomach.

A few suggestions to make mealtime more meaningful and strengthen connections with family and friends:

• A couple of my mealtime rituals include shopping for the food and coming up with a recipe for the meal.  For me, creating a meal is a conscious practice that I equate with my health and happiness.
• No matter where you eat, unplug from technology, put away your cell phone, computer and turn off the TV so you can focus on the meal.
• If you have children, put notes with their lunches so they’re reminded that you’re thinking of them or make their favorite food so they feel connected to their family.
• Invite friends over to share in the mealtime experience, perhaps form a group with people who enjoy making meals and eating as much as you do.
• Eat on a cleared space so it is a peaceful, undisturbed place to enjoy the meal.
• Leave work issues and stressful subjects out of dinner conversation, tension and stress inhibits digestion.
• Serve meals family style to give everyone a chance to connect with each other when passing dishes around the table.
• Slow down, savor each bite, enjoy the food you’ve so lovingly made.
• Share the preparation experience, it is much more fulfilling and enjoyable.
• Create a pre-meal ritual such as taking a deep breath, expressing appreciation or saying a prayer.
• When you’re mindfully cooking it will make meal preparation pleasurable instead of a chore, playing music adds a celebratory, festive feel to the creation process.
• Create a theme around the meal such as French or Fifties Friday, Thai or Throwback Thursday, etc, whatever sparks your imagination.

Bringing meaning and ritual in food is more than technique and eating, it is being in the moment, respecting the ingredients, the planet, making people happy, learning to enjoy the process and finally how to bring good energy into the food.

Thank you for stopping by.

 

Integrity is Everything

I once heard someone say, that hell or heaven isn’t a place, it is how you’re remembered. It isn’t always the first or easiest thing to do in today’s world, but at the end of the day, integrity defines us, it is less about what we say and more about what we do, every second, every minute, every hour of every day.

Words can be an illusion for the truth, it is behavior that depicts who we are. I’ve learned over the years not to take anyone’s words as truth unless they act as a person of integrity by way of conduct.

Is it really worth it when a person chooses to commit any act of dishonesty telling themselves they have a perfectly valid reason why the end result justifies cheating themselves or someone else? Integrity isn’t just about how someone else is affected by what you do or say, it is how you feel about yourself and the choices you make.

Having power, success and things is temporary, anyone who trusts you as a person of integrity is forever, it is the most valuable part of who we are. Building an authentic life is a continuous process that includes integrity, resilience, astuteness, honesty, creativity, and more. Integrity is following the wisdom of your own heart and leaving a lasting memory of someone who knows that doing the right thing, no matter what, is all that matters.

Thank you for taking time to stop by.