Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Steve Jobs

Our world is full of opinions, they dominate everything in our lives from the clothes we wear to how we practice spiritually. Speaking your truth and maintaining your beliefs is a brave and courageous thing to do. A great example of caring less what others think is Greta Thunberg a climate activist who boldly speaks her truth. As you listen to her speak, you’ll notice that rather than going with the flow of the opinions of others, she powerfully maintains her individuality and voices her perception of climate crisis. Her strong words and opinions evokes anger and fear, so there are multitudes of critics, however she lets none of that stop her, she pushes on and keeps going.

The biggest deterrent to aspiring as a unique individual is to rely on what others think. Building confidence in ourselves, our thoughts, ideas and points of view means being vulnerable and being okay with it. Your individuality and creative spirit is why you are here, in a world where we are all expected to be like everyone else, be daring and confident with what you think.

Allowing the opinions of others to determine our choices is because we’re afraid we’ll make a mistake, say the wrong thing or make the wrong choice. There is nothing wrong with that, being determined and deliberate gives you the power of choice and the situations you end up in.

The Universe is always on your side whether it seems that way or not, your growth as a person unfolds with every decision made whether it’s by you or someone else. It helps to remember that what is right for someone else is most likely completely wrong for you.

Life evolves as we move from one situation to the next, so the choices we make are a key component to our soul’s growth. Our life path is very unique, so it’s vital that we become confident with our inner wisdom. When we fall prey to the beliefs of others, we give up our uniqueness.

On my journey to trusting myself and my decisions, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I valued that and gained the confidence to care less about the opinions of others. The person that unintentionally taught me that, spent all of her time trying to conform me into another version of herself, when I realized what was happening; I pulled away. She became very angry with me because she lost the control she thought she had. When I began relying on myself and my observations, the path became clearer for my growth as a person.

While it isn’t easy to unlearn a deeply ingrained belief that what others think is right for you, be captivated by the freedom of relying on what you think, being completely who you are and the driving force within you that guides you every day. It doesn’t mean that life will be easier, it does mean that you’re living wisely and intentionally for yourself.

“If you begin to believe what others say about you, they will begin to control you.

Not everything that appears in your mind is true. Do not let someones else’s opinion rule your life.” Haemin Sumin

Let your opinion be the only one you hear

Remember someone’s opinions and beliefs comes from the way they perceive themselves, what they think and say has nothing to do with you. You’re life and the circumstances you’re in are not the first and foremost in someone else’s mind. It helps to remember that whatever the outcome of a situation, you’re the only one who’ll be living with it.

Make a conscious effort to be unique

  • Be comfortable with vulnerability, life isn’t certain, there are no solid answers or perfect solutions, the opinions of others only clouds our ability to be alright with being vulnerable and knowing that whatever we decide, no matter the outcome, it is a part of our life path and everything will work out in the end.
  • Keep in mind that you’re not the most important thought in other’s minds. When someone blurts out their opinion or says unkind things to you, it has more to do with their self-doubts, insecurities and concerns about what others think about them.
  • Don’t filter out the good and focus on the worst case scenario. Pay attention to your thoughts, are they negative and focused on an unfavorable outcome? When you’re doubtful and reach out to someone for their opinion, remember that what you’re asking for help with is still just in your mind so their response will have more to do with them and less to do with what you.
  • Perfection is an illusion, no matter how much you want things to be perfect in your life, that is never going to happen. So, rather than put pressure on yourself to be perfect and ask someone what they think, remember no one knows you like you, how people perceive you is coming from their experiences and points of view.
  • Learn to let to go of judgment from others. When you make a decision are you worried about what others will think? What do you want or what do you like? Are you making your decisions based on pleasing or impressing someone? When you choose what you truly like or want, what others think will never matter.
  • Finally,don’t allow anyone to shame or challenge your choices There may be people who aren’t able to understand or let go of trying to control your life. That is their problem to resolve, not yours. Firmly let those who debate your decision to go solo that your life is your choice, you’re very capable of choosing the direction you want it to go in.

To Conclude

Stop worrying so much about what someone else thinks, it’s necessary for your sanity and your physical health. Once you stop trying to cater to other’s opinions and what they think, you’ll feel much better, you’ll know who you truly are and you will finally be able to breathe deeply and feel at peace.

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

It is time for stuff to take a back seat, red lining excess

simply-live

I just watched the documentary, Minimalism, nothing I saw was surprising, I’ve been doing that without knowing it for several years.  The more I got rid of the better I felt.  Now as I embark on having a home of my own, it will be a simple, comfortable and easy space to live in because I know what I can get along without.

Here are some ways that I’ve used and some ideas from some of the people I’ve known who have reduced, reused and eliminated excess stuff.

  • Help the environment by shopping at thrift and consignment stores
  • Sell or donate what you really don’t need or use
  • Recycle broken or worn items, there are businesses that will haul away anything that no one can use
  • Start by stripping one room, putting back only those items that you like, use or serve a purpose, follow suit with the rest of your living space
  • Minimize decorator items, they only collect dust and clutter your space
  • Re-purpose items that can be used for something else, (I use a hanging shoe stacker for extra storage.)
  • If you haven’t worn something or used an item in six months, decide if you ever will
  • De-clutter any storage space you have keeping only those items that have a purpose or will be used
  • Is this really necessary?  If you have a storage unit that you’re paying for, ask yourself why
  • When you buy something new, buy only to replace or fill a need
  • Edit your collections by keeping some items out and storing some, make sure that they don’t overtake your living space, sell what makes sense
  • Create a savings account with what you don’t spend to go someplace you’ve always wanted to travel to
  • Increase your finances by considering your living space, are you really using and living in every part of it?  Can you live in a smaller space with less?
  • Help others by going public, start a group or write a blog to share ideas and help live a simpler, calmer and more meaningful life

It took a few years for me to really reduce what I had, but I am happier with my surroundings and feel much lighter. It started with my mother’s estate, the more I got rid of, the easier it was. There was a lot of stuff to go through that took thought and some hard decision-making. But, I remembered hearing someone say, it isn’t the things that our lost loved ones accumulated that we should remember and keep, but who they were, what they did, how they treated people and the way that they loved.

To this day I am still editing my stuff, but now I know to ask myself some important questions, is this valuable to me, does it serve a purpose, why am I keeping it, can I live comfortably without it?  It helps to remember that our life isn’t about material things, but who and what we are, then getting rid of things is simplified.

Being indebted to banks and financial institutions for material things is a life of never-ending stress and anxiety that robs us of the life we were born to live. Consumerism has grabbed our attention and held it for so long that most people have forgotten that happiness and peace are not from things but from the people in our lives.

Now more than ever, it is time that we choose a life of meaning and purpose as we begin to reach out and connect with our human family. We are now living in an age of wisdom, a time when we are beginning to see and understand that our life should be about love, kindness, compassion and an awareness of our reason for living. Reducing the amount of stuff in our lives is a relief that lightens a very heavy load that has been breaking the back of humanity long enough.

Love people and use things, Josh Milburn (Co-Author, The Minimalists)