Jane Marchevsky is a young woman who not long ago sang her own song on America’s Got Talent. She has a dream, a beautiful voice and spirit with a body full of cancer. Her enthusiasm and energy touched my heart. She recently announced her health was deteriorating and bowed out of the competition to focus her energy on healing. Would you mind sending a prayer and/or love to Jane to help her realize her dream? Let’s help her concentrate on her future, I know that she would be grateful for your support.
What I’ve done over the past several years when I am in a difficult or unusual situation is turn my attention to positive activities to reduce stress and to make my life more enjoyable.
While the world is in chaos, it is a great time to practice self-love, compassion and kindness. Years ago I discovered that the word Aloha means more than hello and goodbye it is a way of life philosophy:
“Aloha is a way of living and treating each other with love and respect. Its deep meaning starts by teaching ourselves to love our own beings first and afterwards to spread the love to others.
“When you live the Spirit of Aloha, you create positive feelings and thoughts, which are never gone. They exist in space, multiply and spread over to others.” (from the state of Hawaii website)
Success is Not Final, Failure is Not Fatal: it is the Courage to Continue that Counts– Winston Churchill
When we’re born, our views of success and failure are already in place, not in our genes or DNA, but within our culture and the people we are raised by. In whatever capacity they’ve learned to handle mistakes, failure and success is what we are taught to believe, accept and the way we think of ourselves.
However, we can transform our beliefs and encounters with failure and success by learning to appreciate the power of creativity and unplanned life experiences. Failure is really about gaining wisdom, knowledge and understanding that mistakes are life lessons that encourage our growth. Success is not only about money or power but living your passion and purpose and knowing that it’s always there no matter what direction your life goes in.
Failure gives you courage, insight and character to keep trying but we have to stop worrying about how long it takes to achieve success and being focused on the lack of it.
There mare many facets of success, personal success is remembering who you are, where you come from, growth and improvement, while balanced success is being grateful, honest, faithful, loving, loyal and.maintaining our individuality,
One of my journeys with failure and success was my struggle with not having a perfect body as society defines it. My learned belief was that I would only enjoy a happy life if my body was that ideal yet unrealistic image. With each attempt to achieve that expectation there were failures filled with sadness, self loathing and frustration that I felt I had no way to overcome.
Then about two years ago I finally experienced peace of mind after I participated in a workshop focused on self love. I had an epiphany that helped me to focus on the healthy and strong body that I have. I saw myself as a deserving person, worthy and happy just as I was. I realized that the failure I’d been living was in my mind and it was up to me to allow myself to experience happiness no matter my body’s imperfections. My desire for fitness has never been to have an ideal body, but a very healthy one, so despite myself, I’ve achieved that outcome.
For me belief in a higher power is instrumental in achieving success. I’ve learned to recognize that I am a child of the Universe, created with the same components as I see in the stars and trees, an inherent presence with a purpose where mistakes are learning tools and success is about doing your best for the best outcome. A conscious definition of success is well said below:
“To live the lives we truly want and deserve, and not just the lives we settle for, we need a Third Metric,” she says, “a third measure of success that goes beyond the two metrics of money and power, and consists of four pillars: well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving.” Ariana Huffington, founder Huffington Post
Anyone who has read or seen Harry Potter knows the power of an extraordinary imagination and enormous success. However, you may not know the epic failures that J.K. Rowling experienced on her journey to the fairy tale life she lives now.
We struggle most of our lives trying to overcome failure to achieve success in whatever area of life we are passionate about. Take small steps, build your confidence, keep moving forward and don’t allow the outcome to be the focus of your attention, you never know what gifts failure and success will endow you with.
I have a deeply held belief that through forward-thinking, coherent measures and ethical conviction, we can empower ourselves not only in our country but globally to redirect our energy toward humanitarianism, compassion and inclusion for everyone. Igniting the heart to be the forerunner for humanity to co-exist peacefully rather than to continue living in separation and fear.
I recently read an article that exemplifies my belief that great change is needed. The story was about a young migrant father and his baby daughter drowning in the Rio Grande on the Texas border, no one knew they were there. They’d traveled from El Salvador; the father was desperately trying to find a way to a better life for his daughter I felt a sense of defeat and asked myself what can be done to stop situations like this from happening. Rather than blaming or finger-pointing, my thoughts went to the Declaration of Independence and what it meant not just for Americans but for humankind.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.
My interpretation of this very profound text is that it is up to people to bring about effective change by responding morally, consciously and humanely through mindful, principled and compassionate steps. We must reinstate our rights and fully participate in making a difference in education, climate crisis, healthcare, the economy, and all of the other challenges we are faced with. Imagine a world where enlightened, kindhearted people are in the forefront, imagine the outcome, we can be the change we are all are seeking. Momentous changes came from impassioned, ordinary individuals such as Mother Teresa, Margaret Higgins Sanger, Susan B. Anthony, Emily Davison, Lucretia Mott, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Malala Yousafzai and Alexander Fleming to name just a few. Not one of these people imagined the effect of their efforts, they were just passionate and committed and they changed the world.
I believe, as a woman who has been on a path of conscious choice for quite a few years, that I am here to share my insights with others to see mindfulness as a way of life, not based on any specific agenda or definition, but strictly by living in the realization that we are all the same despite any regional or cultural differences. A woman is a woman, a man is a man, a child is a child, blood is red, all hearts thrive or decline, love is love. Let the way of humanity be known for finding the connections and similarities to create a world where love and unity are dominant not secondary.
it is crucial that we embrace our rights as human beings through mindfulness and take a stand for doing what is right, simply because it is the right thing to do. No matter the action we take or on what level, know in our hearts that it does make a difference.
consciousness that is centered around ethics, integrity, values and an impartial lens is in favor of equality for all of life. I believe that people care so much and want to do something to change the way things are, but don’t know what to do or how. It all begins within ourselves, through attitude and our daily interactions. My personal journey began with self introspection and personal change and now I see myself as an agent of change, working each day in the name of love and goodness to effect the people around me in a beneficial way. The way we consciously change the world is by taking action in whatever way we can, whether it’s in our home, our neighborhood, our community or the world.
I would like to finish with a quote that embodies the way I live my own life:
“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.” ― Marianne Williamson
All images in this post were gotten from the internet.
Thank you for reading my post, I sincerely appreciate it.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ― Albert Einstein
What is a miracle to you? There is no real definition of a miracle, we each have our own understanding of what a miracle is. If you think about it, we are a miracle, nature is a miracle, life is a miracle, there are numerous miracles around us, all we have to do is be open and look.
One of My Many “Miracles” – When my career began shifting in the early 2000’s, for some unknown reason, memories of the Arizona mountains and the wide open spaces of the west began coming to the forefront of my mind. Then in early 2016 my memories turned into vivid nightly dreams, something I’d never experienced. I knew in my heart something bigger than I could imagine was taking place. A little more than a year later a window of opportunity opened to take what I call guided action. Even though the path was filled with unexpected but necessary challenges, what I consider a series of miracles took place and I am now back home in Arizona and less than 10 minutes away from those beautiful mountains.
Miracles happen all of the time, many don’t appear to be significant, but every one of them is connected with belief and concept. In 2016, after a sequence of experiences, I wanted to spend time learning to recognize miracles. What an inspirational and powerful way to experience life. I’d read an article about recognizing and listing miracles that we experience throughout our lives, I was amazed at what I discovered. Because of that exercise, I left behind a life of worrying and living in the past by turning my attention to recognizing miracles every day. No matter what challenges and hardships I’m faced with, it has become a part of my daily routine. I love the energy of that focus and retraining myself to see the gifts that life brings. While many people think of miracles as something earth shattering, most are small but meaningful and can shift our way of experiencing life.
Transforming Your Life – Miracle Awareness
One of my daily practices is an on-going dialogue I have with God that keeps me on my toes by being grateful and identifying miracles throughout my day. Those dialogues eliminate negative thoughts, feeling sorry for myself and help me to remember the many challenges that I and millions of people are faced with are all part of the intricate path we are on in what I’ve come to call the school of life. How we use that education can make a considerable difference in how our life story goes.
My belief is that miracles come in all sizes, shapes
They have a variety of ways of showing up. If you’re open and allow life to run its course and for the flow of the Universe to happen in its own way and time, miracles will be obvious to you, if you’re lost in depressive feelings, anxious or disconnected, they will go unnoticed.
Stay open to life
When you’re open and notice what’s going on around you, you’ll realize that there are no hidden meanings in events, miracles will occur in many ways and through unexpected circumstances, they are fascinating and curious. Even when things seem bleak, awareness of the magnificence around you will bring your attention to the miracles that we can experience every day.
Example: As a photographer I had spent several years on a journey learning how to compose, respect wildlife and to experience little everyday miracles. When I left the east coast, the door opened for my photography to grow in ways I could have never imagined. My first stop was Wyoming to spend time with my sister. While I was there we took a couple of trips to one of the two places where we could see wild buffalo. On one of the trips a small herd was grazing along the road. I excitedly turned on my new camera and began shooting, I was in seventh heaven. About nine months later I discovered Wildlife Photo of the Day, a division of the World Wildlife Fund and an online community that showcases the best wildlife photos. Images are submitted by thousands of photographers but I decided to take a chance anyway and submitted the photo above. A day later it was unexpectedly selected as Photo of the Day and exhibited on all of their social media sites, for me that was a miracle.
The Discovery of MiraclesFrom Deepak Chopra:
Place significance on opening up even more.
Notice the little miracles, synchronicity and unusual events.
Value these anomalies for what they are—clues to a higher reality.
If you keep these steps in mind, tiny, isolated events will start to form larger patterns. Think of how you respond to music. We all hear catchy tunes, but some people go further and think, “I really feel drawn to music.” They value music as more than a passing moment of pleasure. So they take lessons and delve into how music works. The more they delve, the greater their ability grows. In the case of consciousness, there is no limit to your growth. Yet as with music, you can’t let the small beginnings slip away. That’s what the parable of the mustard seed teaches in the New Testament. Jesus points out that most seeds fall on stony ground, but a few land in the right place and grow from an invisible seed into a flourishing plant.
I see life as a gift, an opportunity to make use of the best within ourselves to make a difference in the world.
“Seeing a miracle will inspire you, but knowing you are a miracle will change you.” ~ Deborah Brodie
Thank you for reading my post, I sincerely appreciate your time.
“World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.” Dalai Lama
I’ve learned to achieve inner peace even when there is chaos around me simply by just being and not allowing outside problems affect my peace of mind. This is a state of harmony everyone can achieve with practice.
Inner peace is something most of us want but don’t have or know how to achieve. I believe that when we’re inundated with the stresses of the world, work, daily life demands, kids and tight schedules, it is difficult to imagine how we can ever be at peace. Not being in a state of peace is a learned behavior, we are very capable of unlearning something at any time, especially when we truly desire change. When we make inner peace a priority instead of what is going on around us, it will change the way we see everything, our family, job, relationships, our health and state of mind and the world.
“Peace is not something you wish for, it is something you make, something you are, something you do, and something you give away.” ― Robert Fulghum
It Starts with You
It is my belief and experience that global peace begins inside of each and every one of us. Of course we all have busy lives; it is easy to get caught up in the routine we follow every day. Not that daily life routines aren’t important, even venerable, but the approach we take and the way we handle what takes place each day makes a huge difference. There is a distinction between approaching things unconsciously with little attention paid and doing things with intention of purpose peacefully. The basis of inner peace is simply people willing to take responsibility for their own peace and peacefulness.
Inner peace isn’t about changing what is going on outside of you, it is about changing what’s going on inside you by managing how you are, which in turn affects others in your family, your neighborhood, your community and eventually the world.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” – Pema Chodron
Peace Mind-Map
Inner Peace – Simply
Start with something as simple and natural as changing the way you wake up in the morning. Most people start their morning by preparing for a hectic schedule and going through a preview of the day before they even rise from bed then the turmoil begins, because that is the way things have always been done. Inner peace calls for you to stop that process and recreate it by consciously waking; as you rise in the morning, start by simply saying thank you just for being alive, then take a few long, slow deep breaths, smile and start your day as if you mean it. Stop the daily preview chatter by slowing your mind and reminding yourself to be calm; that you are in charge not the commotion or order of the day. I am not suggesting passivity by being indifferent and unresponsive, but by being calm or at peace exudes tranquility and thoughtfulness.
Be truly grateful. We have a tendency to take what we are fortunate to have for granted. Start each day with appreciation for what seems ordinary: running water, electricity, the stove, clean dishes, your children, spouse, your family, your pets; you get the idea. When we begin to give thanks for what we already have no matter how simple, it brings a feeling of appreciation. Thankfulness and awareness for the good things in our lives is a good start to experiencing internal peace.
Additional Ways to Inner Peace (byHENRIK EDBERG )
Set limits.
Find a relaxation technique that work for you.
Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.
Slow down.
Unclutter your world, unclutter your mind.
Use a minimalistic workspace.
Be 10 minutes early.
Breathe
Remember the 5 little words that’ll help you to stay sane: “one thing at a time. “
” If there’s no inner peace, people can’t give it to you. The husband can’t give it to you. Your children can’t give it to you. You have to give it to you.” Linda Evans
Peace Improves Your Health
Achieving inner peace is the gateway to improved health. Instead of allowing what is taking place in your life to be the master, why not make how you feel and the way you want your life to be a priority. That will put the control of you in your hands instead of the outside world. True inner peace is the best medicine for your overall state of wellness. Did you know that when you remain upset about something that happened in the past and when you repeat the story that your body returns to a state of distress, as if it is in the actual situation again? That form of stress is dangerous to your health and the beginning point for disease.
Health Benefits of Inner Peace
It lowers oxygen consumption.
It decreases respiratory rate.
It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
Increases exercise tolerance.
Leads to a deeper level of physical relaxation.
Good for people with high blood pressure.
Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
Decreases muscle tension
Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis etc.
Reduces Pre-menstrual Syndrome symptoms.
Helps in post-operative healing.
Enhances the immune system.
Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
Enhances energy, strength and vigor.
Helps with weight loss
Reduction of free radicals, less tissue damage
Higher skin resistance
Drop in cholesterol levels, lowers risk of cardiovascular disease.
Improved flow of air to the lungs resulting in easier breathing.
Decreases the aging process.
Prevents, slows or controls pain of chronic diseases
Makes you sweat less
Cures headaches & migraines
Greater Orderliness of Brain Functioning
Reduced Need for Medical Care
Less energy wasted
More inclined to sports, activities
Significant relief from asthma
Improved performance in athletic events
Normalizes to your ideal weight
Harmonizes our endocrine system
Relaxes our nervous system
Produces lasting beneficial changes in brain electrical activity
Cure infertility (the stresses of infertility can interfere with the release of hormones that regulate ovulation). (Courtesy of peacerevolution.net)
Inner peace is our natural state of being
When we respond to what is going on in front of us instead of reacting or acting irrationally no matter what it is, is when we will know that we are capable of inner peace. Worry and anxiety never ever changes anything, in fact it stops you from making sound choices and experiencing clarity. Inner peace helps you to develop courage, strength, resilience and an understanding that life is cyclical. Even though you’re going through a bundle of emotions, you will better be able to handle something difficult when you’re in a state of peace. Seek ways to calm yourself and improve your self-talk to help you stay on the path. When you’re in a state of peace, self-care will be at the top of your list instead of the bottom.
Keys to Inner Peace
Assistant professor at the University of Texas-MD Anderson Cancer Center and at the UT Medical School, Alejandro Chaoul, teaches courses in their Integrative Medicine program. His work on mind-body practice as an integrative cancer care include Tibetan yoga and meditation. In this video he shares how he has helped many reach a new level of inner peace and health.
When clouds darken, the winds grow strong and the air becomes heavy, we know a storm is on its way, that is cause and effect, not destiny.
Our lives are like that storm because our actions, thoughts and words are the cause and effect in events, relationships and our place in the world. The law of cause and effect states that every material effect must have an adequate cause that existed before the effect, the effect is never greater than the cause. The river isn’t muddy because a frog jumped in or a book doesn’t fall from the table because a fly landed on it. (apologeticspress.org)
What you resist and how you handle it determines your karma:
I recently experienced a life promotion that I didn’t expect, but it was very welcomed. Have you ever heard that statement, “what you resist, persists”? Well, that goes hand in hand with karma, I know I’ve lived it. I would like to share how we can grow into a better person by being a teacher and student of life.
Three years ago I met a woman who I was fascinated with. She was an enigmatic speaker and seemed to be a person I should get to know. I eventually got involved with her nonprofit organization as a business assistant. We did some good things together we helped people by making a difference in their lives. The working relationship was intermixed with our personal lives, making it complex and an unusual association for me, I had always kept the two separate. Eventually our relationship deteriorated making it inevitable that we should no longer remain connected in any way. One issue remained, I am renting one of the properties owned by she and her husband so the challenges continued for us both. While I know everything happens for a reason, that didn’t lessen the stress and anxiety between us.
I tried my best to keep things calm and simple, I had limited success because myintentions were not aligned with how I really felt about her so we continued to have difficulty communicating. Then things got worse when I wasn’t able to find a new roommate right away and couldn’t meet the full rent for one month. This time I knew I had to handle things differently, I had to be mindful of my words and change the energy behind them. This time I chose to consider the benefit of my actions for both of us. It worked, it kept communication civil and respectful between us.
Then in the beginning of February, out of the blue the woman’s husband came to the house and told me he and his brother would oversee the property, but that his wife would still collect the rent. That was confirmation for me that things were shifting. Then at the end of the month he came back and told me that he and his brother were taking full responsibility for the property saying that he and his wife were divorcing. I wasn’t surprised because I was witness to the disconnect in their relationship when I was involved with her business. I am grateful for her teachings and for my graduation to another phase of my life.
This story is one of many of my life experiences, however this time I was conscious of what was going on and knew that it is always up to me to change my approach and way of thinking to create an agreeable solution, this is the stuff that a better world is made of.
When we struggle with our life challenges, it always helps to remember how you and those in your life will be affected by what you say or do. Deepak Chopra is my go-to spiritual teacher to help me develop sound life principles to create a better life for myself. He offers a few suggestions to help develop a keen sense of how to best create self-awareness and our part in the outcome of our lives.
From the Chopra Center:
Putting the Law of Karma into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps:
Today I will witness the choices I make in each moment. And in the mere witnessing of these choices, I will bring them to my conscious awareness. I will know that the best way to prepare for any moment in the future is to be fully conscious in the present.
Whenever I make a choice, I will ask myself two questions: “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” and “Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and also to those who are affected by this choice?”
I will then ask my heart for guidance and be guided by its message of comfort or discomfort. If the choice feels comfortable, I will plunge ahead with abandon. If the choice feels uncomfortable, I will pause and see the consequences of my action with my inner vision. This guidance will enable me to make spontaneously correct choices for myself and for all those around me.
“If you become consciously aware that your future is generated based on your choices, then you are making full use of The Law of Karma (Cause & Effect). The more you bring your choices into the level of your conscious awareness, the more you will make those choices which are spontaneously correct–both for you and those around you.”Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
This week I made a batch of bagels, my second go at making homemade. I wish I had asked the angels to intervene in my attempt because I really needed their help. Everything was going well, they were beautiful, almost perfect in shape and size before I popped them in the oven. The oven we have is a bit off so when I checked after 10 minutes, they were beginning to firm up, but the bagels were still pale. I turned the oven up, but when I checked on them the bagels were still light in color. Then I got the idea to turn on the broiler, just for a couple of minutes. Well, that was one minute too long, when the timer went off, I ran into the kitchen to retrieve my beautiful bagels only to see dark smoke coming out of the oven.
I was so disappointed. I pulled open the door, the bagels were dark on top, the sesame seeds were ashes. So, I grabbed a nearby knife and began scraping. I managed to salvage all 10 of them, but oh how I wish I had called on my angels for perfect bagels. I know that next time, I will definitely ask them to help me produce golden, unburnt bagels.
Copyright Free – Stock Free images. Public Domain
The Angels
I believe there are Angels all around us and they can be a vital part of our lives. For me, they are a significant part of my life and spiritual practices. They are my friends, life support, inner wisdom and gentle reminders to rely on love and compassion.
Did you know angels will never interfere in your life if they are not called upon? The only time they intervene without being asked for is when you’re in a life threatening situation before your time. This isn’t something I knew all those years ago, but I am forever grateful that they are always there watching and waiting to help.
My life wouldn’t be what it is without them. Many years ago, I was transformed when I experienced an amazing angel intervention.
Copyright Free – Stock Free images. Public Domain
The Intervention
A friend and I planned a Saturday fun night at her place, we were going to have dinner, then watch a movie with lots of conversation in-between. As usual, Saturday was busy for me, so I had to keep an eye on the time so I wouldn’t be late. The drive to her home was just what I needed, it was my time to enjoy the beauty around me and unwind. When I got there, the sun was just slipping beyond the horizon, its rays were glinting off the jagged edges of the mountain range just a few miles away, it was beautiful.
When she answered the door, her two dogs greeted me with their usual enthusiasm. We worked our way to the kitchen where I made myself comfortable while she finished making dinner. By the time we finished eating and cleaned up, it was well after 8. It had been a long day for both of us so we were ready to relax. We grabbed a soda, she put the movie in the VCR then we made ourselves comfortable. When the movie ended, as always we talked about it, then I happened to look over at the time and saw it was nearly 11 so I cut the conversation short to head for home.
I chose an easy, well-lit route where I knew the traffic would be light. The first leg of my drive was fairly uneventful. There was little traffic around me so it was easy to notice the rather new white pick-up truck driving next to me. there was soft music playing on the radio, I was relaxed.
As I scanned the road ahead, I saw a compact blue car accelerate from the driveway it was in out into traffic. In a state of disbelief at what was happening, my heart pounding, I couldn’t comprehend what was taking place. All of sudden my headlights were reflecting on the side of the blue car that had come to stop. One last attempt to avoid a collision I turned the steering wheel to veer the car into the next lane but the pick-up truck was there. I panicked, all I could think was I am going to die. I closed my eyes expecting a crash, it felt like the end. Then there was silence. what happened? I slowly opened my eyes not knowing what to expect. I was still in my car, the road was clear and my car was still moving forward. I couldn’t believe it, there was no crash. I was numb and confused, I couldn’t understand what had just happened. I began crying uncontrollably, I couldn’t catch my breath. I drove home and fell into my mother’s arms grateful to be alive. I realized that I had just experienced Divine intervention, I was forever changed.
Today, I intentionally live with angels around me with great comfort and peace. Angels are non-religious and present everywhere. The help they give isn’t always what we want and may even seem like they aren’t helping at all, but I’ve come to understand that they give us what we need, which is always better than what we want.
Angels are a beautiful divine presence there for us so we never feel alone, and always feel comforted and safe in their benevolent protection. When you connect with the Angels, they always speak with you. It is that tiny, faint whisper that lovingly guides you in the direction of love, compassion and kindness.
Thank you for stopping by. May you be surrounded by angels.
The results from a study published by Time Magazine in 2015 says loneliness kills. The study done by Brigham Young University has researchers alarmed, they are sending out a warning that loneliness is the next number one public health issue along with obesity and substance abuse. Feelings of loneliness increases the risk of death by a whopping 26%.
We can become a statistic or we can make an effort to change our perception of life and do something on our own behalf. In an article about loneliness for Psychology Today, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center Heidi Grant, Ph.D, said, “More than anything else, the cure for persistent loneliness lies in breaking the negative cycle of thinking that created it in the first place.”
“The process of becoming unstuck requires tremendous bravery, because basically we are completely changing our way of perceiving reality, like changing our DNA. We are undoing a pattern that is not just our pattern. It’s the human pattern.” Pema Chodron
There is a big difference between being lonely and being alone: (I enjoy my alone time, I didn’t always feel that way, but now I treasure it.)
Being lonely is isolation that comes with unmet expectations and feelings un-returned, being alone is a feeling of freedom and enjoying solitude.
Being lonely is feeling empty and the inability to do simple daily tasks. Being alone is embracing your time alone whether you’re driving to work or just reading a book, being alone is a chosen time.
When you’re lonely you constantly seek distractions to help you avoid it, when you’re alone you’re okay with doing nothing and not needing someone around.
Loneliness is being disconnected and living with self blame, being alone is using that time to find ways to create a connection whether spiritually or with people and rising from victim-hood by taking responsibility for your own happiness.
I have been through times of loneliness myself, it was difficult and painful; my family was worried about me. But I wasn’t because I knew I would do something to pull myself out of it by seeking solutions. I’ve used every one of the methods below very successfully. Because they’ve helped me, I am sure that even one of the suggestions can help you out of loneliness into feeling better and enjoying your life.
We cannot wait for the medical profession to acknowledge loneliness or create a pill for it. We have to do something about it ourselves, and we can. The first is to acknowledge it, then we have to rethink our way of life by helping ourselves to find ways to change our situation, consider the following ideas.
Live with a Roommate – This isn’t for everyone but there are positive aspects to living with someone even if they are a total stranger. I’ve been doing it for the past several years and while it takes effort, it is beneficial to live with someone. Be careful, selective and choose who you will share a place with from your heart, that is what has worked for me and it can for you.
Go on a solo date – Go to the movies, out to dinner, or to music concert, you don’t have to wait for anyone to decide what they want to eat and you get to go to any movie or concert you want without any conflicts. (Even though I have a good roommate, the fact that we have different interests doesn’t bother me.I’ve done this for years, I have fun, I love my own company and I don’t let what others think or how they see me as a single stop me from enjoying myself.)
Creatively Express Yourself – Whatever creative outlet you enjoy, do it. Don’t stop yourself because you can’t draw or sing, none of that matters. Find what you enjoy and just start doing it. (I ‘ve always found creativity soothing and a great way to feel better. Creatively expressing myself has helped me to de-stress and feel good in the most difficult situations.)
Attend Meetups – There are a variety of groups on just about any subject you can think of. They are fun, a great way to meet new people and a way to spark your imagination. (I’ve joined several meetup groups where I’ve made friends that are still in my life, I’ve learned, had fun and become a much better person for it.)
Mindful Meditation– A practice of calming the mind to achieve peace. Meditation induces a natural relaxation response which has been found to be instrumental in the treatment of conditions as wide-ranging as cardiac arrhythmias, asthma, allergies, herpes, diabetes, ulcers, hypertension, infertility, PMS, AIDS, and chronic pain. (I’ve meditated for years, there is nothing like it and I am able to reduce my stress significantly especially if I meditate during the experience.)
Volunteer– Helping others in service is a great way to extend yourself and to help those who are unable to help themselves. (I volunteered for years, I loved it, it is so rewarding and whatever you chose to do not only benefits those you help, but it always benefits you.)
Adopt a Pet – “Forget your troubles, come on get happy” is just what adopting a pet will do. Life is much happier and easier to get through with an animal companion. (I’ve had pets for years, I cannot imagine my life without them in it. They’ve become my best friend, a pair of ears that will listen to me unconditionally, a loving companion and a stress reliever.)
Get Happy – You are in charge of how you feel, no one can do that for you. While it may sound to “Pollyanna”, it isn’t. When you watch children they are happy just because, so we have to find a way to reach inside and find the child within us and allow ourselves to feel that kind of bliss, after all it is for our better health. (I am happy, I work at it and make sure I remember how blessed I am, gratitude daily is a great way to remind myself to see the bright side of my life.)
Look Through Photo Albums – This is a hidden gem. Whenever the holidays come, even though there are stories of the immense sadness and isolation, I choose to celebrate my way and part of that includes pulling out photo albums and going through them. I feel great just looking through them and better overall, it is well worth it, it makes what may be a difficult time easier to go through.
Read a Good Book – Books are a way to enjoy being somewhere else, or learning about people or places or how you can be a better person. There is a world of wonder in reading a good book, no matter which type you are passionate about. (My library is different than most, it includes many books by spiritual teachers that I admire. So this one method is a big help for me.)
Get a Camera – Seeing the world through a camera lens can range from silly to serious. You can take photos with your cell phone or get a DSLR camera with more options and you can use photo editing apps to enhance the images or create a work of art, photography is a great way to change the direction of your thoughts and lift your spirits. (I‘ve had a camera for as long as I can remember, it has been like a best friend. When I’ve gone through life challenges, it has been a healing mechanism that I am so thankful for and it is a form of creativity that anyone can do.)
You can be highly social and have lots of people around you and still be lonely. Loneliness from whatever you’re living through is not the end of the world, it is the end of that part of your life. Finally, for me, I never feel lonely anymore because I am spiritually connected, something I never made the effort to be before. While that might not be suitable for everyone, whatever way you choose, it is up to you to take action on your own behalf.
Let the loneliness you feel turn into compassion for other lonely people, and then decide to do something about it! Joyce Meyer
Listening with your heart requires that you sit silently and listen without judgment. This way of listening compels you to be supportive and to help someone to reach inside to find the answers they are seeking themselves. It isn’t easy, but it is a great way to empower yourself and the other person.
A few years ago I took a day long workshop focused on learning to listen with your heart. It sounded simple, but it isn’t. We have been taught to listen half-heartedly waiting with bated breath for the moment when there is a break to inject our opinion and advice.
In my workshop, when the person we were paired with spoke, we had to sit silently, look them in the eyes and be fully present while they spoke. When they were finished, the lesson was to empower them with praise for their willingness to share and provide support without telling them what to do. It was a lesson in humility because we believe that we can solve someone else’s problems or steer them in the direction according to how we’ve handled situations and how they could improve the way they’re handling things if only they’d listen to our sage advice. That approach can only makes things worse and drive people apart.
I learned a lot that day. Now, when someone wants to share their situation, I ask if they want my perspective before I jump in knowing that they may not accept or believe that it is the way to go. Listening with your heart is showing respect, compassion and kindness just by being there.
Most people just want someone to listen while they sort through the challenges they are faced with. You don’t have to agree with their method of handing a situation furthermore you really don’t know what someone else is going through. Once a person vents and gets everything out, they can and should come upon solutions themselves. Don’t take it personally, it is never about us, it is about learning to go above and beyond to be conscious and caring.
Wisdom of a Woman's Heart 