A Time for Mindfulness, The Sky Isn’t Falling, Maintain Serenity

Grocery shopping, usually an enjoyable experience for me was a journey into self-mastery. because I absorb and am naturally very sensitive to the energy of those around me. As I quietly walked through the store, the fear and anxiety were palpable. I witnessed out of control, panicked and worried people collecting multiple carts with several family members, pushing, shoving and racing through the store scooping large quantities of merchandise into their carts as if the world was coming to an end. While there was a temptation to find fault and judge, for my own self-protection I remained focused on what I was doing, stayed to myself and concentrated on departing when I was done.

The condition of the store (images below) was unthinkable. As the cashier was ringing me out, we chatted about the state of things, she said it is the “Chicken Little” story come to life.

“The moral of the Chicken Little story is to have courage, even when it feels like the sky is falling.

To make things worse, the media is exploding with a steady stream of inflated piffle and misinformation that frightens and upsets people. This only increases unnecessary fear that brings extreme psychological stress and out of control anxiety only increasing weakened immune systems. Fear spreading is the real danger, calm and common sense are the catalysts to avoid extreme situations that can and will take place if fear continues to dominate a very controllable circumstance.

EFFECTIVE MINDFULNESS Practices

Exercise such as:

  • Yoga, stretching, walking

Aromatherapy, use these scents to increase calm:

  • Lavender
  • Vetiver
  • Bergamot
  • Roman chamomile
  • Neroli
  • Frankincense
  • Sandalwood
  • Ylang ylang
  • Orange or orange blossom
  • Geranium

Take supplements to increase wellness:

  • ashwagandha,
  • omega-3
  • fatty acids,
  • green tea
  • lemon balm
  • valerian
  • kava kava
  • Reduce caffeine
  • Laugh
  • Eat and sleep well

Practice mindfulness through:

  • meditation
  • unplug, be present in the moment
  • watching your thoughts when they wander

Create a mini arts program for yourself:

  • play games, read a novel, relax with music

As with every difficult situation we are challenged by, It’s important to remember all we can do is our best, continue to live our lives and expect the best outcome. Whatever your spiritual practices, we can all contribute by withholding judgment, remain considerate, compassionate and understanding.

The truth is:

“The vast majority of cases are going to be mild, and people are going to recover just like they do from a cold or flu-like illness.”— Dr. Amesh Adalja

Stay well, be at peace; find the sacredness and joy in everyday life.

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Steve Jobs

Our world is full of opinions, they dominate everything in our lives from the clothes we wear to how we practice spiritually. Speaking your truth and maintaining your beliefs is a brave and courageous thing to do. A great example of caring less what others think is Greta Thunberg a climate activist who boldly speaks her truth. As you listen to her speak, you’ll notice that rather than going with the flow of the opinions of others, she powerfully maintains her individuality and voices her perception of climate crisis. Her strong words and opinions evokes anger and fear, so there are multitudes of critics, however she lets none of that stop her, she pushes on and keeps going.

The biggest deterrent to aspiring as a unique individual is to rely on what others think. Building confidence in ourselves, our thoughts, ideas and points of view means being vulnerable and being okay with it. Your individuality and creative spirit is why you are here, in a world where we are all expected to be like everyone else, be daring and confident with what you think.

Allowing the opinions of others to determine our choices is because we’re afraid we’ll make a mistake, say the wrong thing or make the wrong choice. There is nothing wrong with that, being determined and deliberate gives you the power of choice and the situations you end up in.

The Universe is always on your side whether it seems that way or not, your growth as a person unfolds with every decision made whether it’s by you or someone else. It helps to remember that what is right for someone else is most likely completely wrong for you.

Life evolves as we move from one situation to the next, so the choices we make are a key component to our soul’s growth. Our life path is very unique, so it’s vital that we become confident with our inner wisdom. When we fall prey to the beliefs of others, we give up our uniqueness.

On my journey to trusting myself and my decisions, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I valued that and gained the confidence to care less about the opinions of others. The person that unintentionally taught me that, spent all of her time trying to conform me into another version of herself, when I realized what was happening; I pulled away. She became very angry with me because she lost the control she thought she had. When I began relying on myself and my observations, the path became clearer for my growth as a person.

While it isn’t easy to unlearn a deeply ingrained belief that what others think is right for you, be captivated by the freedom of relying on what you think, being completely who you are and the driving force within you that guides you every day. It doesn’t mean that life will be easier, it does mean that you’re living wisely and intentionally for yourself.

“If you begin to believe what others say about you, they will begin to control you.

Not everything that appears in your mind is true. Do not let someones else’s opinion rule your life.” Haemin Sumin

Let your opinion be the only one you hear

Remember someone’s opinions and beliefs comes from the way they perceive themselves, what they think and say has nothing to do with you. You’re life and the circumstances you’re in are not the first and foremost in someone else’s mind. It helps to remember that whatever the outcome of a situation, you’re the only one who’ll be living with it.

Make a conscious effort to be unique

  • Be comfortable with vulnerability, life isn’t certain, there are no solid answers or perfect solutions, the opinions of others only clouds our ability to be alright with being vulnerable and knowing that whatever we decide, no matter the outcome, it is a part of our life path and everything will work out in the end.
  • Keep in mind that you’re not the most important thought in other’s minds. When someone blurts out their opinion or says unkind things to you, it has more to do with their self-doubts, insecurities and concerns about what others think about them.
  • Don’t filter out the good and focus on the worst case scenario. Pay attention to your thoughts, are they negative and focused on an unfavorable outcome? When you’re doubtful and reach out to someone for their opinion, remember that what you’re asking for help with is still just in your mind so their response will have more to do with them and less to do with what you.
  • Perfection is an illusion, no matter how much you want things to be perfect in your life, that is never going to happen. So, rather than put pressure on yourself to be perfect and ask someone what they think, remember no one knows you like you, how people perceive you is coming from their experiences and points of view.
  • Learn to let to go of judgment from others. When you make a decision are you worried about what others will think? What do you want or what do you like? Are you making your decisions based on pleasing or impressing someone? When you choose what you truly like or want, what others think will never matter.
  • Finally,don’t allow anyone to shame or challenge your choices There may be people who aren’t able to understand or let go of trying to control your life. That is their problem to resolve, not yours. Firmly let those who debate your decision to go solo that your life is your choice, you’re very capable of choosing the direction you want it to go in.

To Conclude

Stop worrying so much about what someone else thinks, it’s necessary for your sanity and your physical health. Once you stop trying to cater to other’s opinions and what they think, you’ll feel much better, you’ll know who you truly are and you will finally be able to breathe deeply and feel at peace.

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

Making Your Life What You Want it To Be

Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts, it you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.  MoveMe Quotes

I believe we all forget whose in charge of our lives, especially when we’re in the midst of situations that overwhelm us or seem uncontrollable.  For me, it used to almost feel easier to just give up or go back to living unconsciously. But then I’d hear the voice in my heart telling me to keep trying, to make a choice, to use my wisdom and let goodness happen and I have. This is a gentle reminder that we don’t have to be unhappy or live with the belief that only some “lucky” people have a charmed and satisfying life.

Being in control of your life comes by believing in yourself and by not allowing the fear of obstacles, challenges or change stop you. Remember you have a choice and you can learn to get past the old belief that you’re not good enough to make a real contribution to the world.  Believing we’re here for a purpose can greatly reduce our suffering and the feeling of being out of control because even if we forget, we are always in the driver’s seat of the direction of our lives. This is where we can rise above the limited life we’ve allowed ourselves to live by doing something on behalf of ourselves because we know we are worth it.

I can say with confidence that you can experience the impossible and that leads you from misery to unexpected joy and peace. As with any spiritual endeavor, this way of believing is knowing that you’ll have to take steps out of your comfort zone and be okay with it. This is where we learn to power through fear, head on. Every time we experience the unknown, fear will try to sneak in to stop us and that’s okay. Don’t ignore it or try to avoid it, just don’t be swallowed up by fear. Allow yourself to be afraid and just keep reminding yourself that you can do this, take a deep breath and keep going. 

Here are some ideas to consider to master your life:

  • Rely more on your “sixth” sense
  • Put your happiness and health first
  • Live in the present moment
  • Create plans that are open to change because that is how life in the control seat is
  • Be okay with living out of your comfort zone
  • Stop thinking so much, have faith in the unseen
  • Believe in the impossible
  • Create some rituals or routines for a well-balanced life
  • Nothing is set in stone, you have choices
  • Obstacles are a part of the journey for you to rise above
  • Take time for stillness or meditation, this is truly powerful step
  • Pursue meaning over pleasure, a life of meaning is why we are here
  • Be imaginative, create outside the box
  • No matter how things look, keep your eyes on the prize of a purposeful life

I’d like to end with this powerful and profound quote:

“Never say that you can’t do something, or that something seems impossible, or that something can’t be done, no matter how discouraging or harrowing it may be; human beings are limited only by what we allow ourselves to be limited by: our own minds. We are each the masters of our own reality; when we become self-aware to this: absolutely anything in the world is possible.

Master yourself, and become king of the world around you. Let no odds, chastisement, exile, doubt, fear, or ANY mental viruses prevent you from accomplishing your dreams. Never be a victim of life; be it’s conqueror.” ― Mike Norton

Thank you for reading my post and your time.

Change your life in 2018, Laura

Find Your Voice, How to Consciously Speak Up for Yourself

Speaking up for ourselves, mindfully is being assertive without being aggressive.  It is a way to let others know how we feel by expressing ourselves with dignity, confidence and self-respect. It isn’t about being right or wrong, it is about intentionally speaking the truth authentically and sincerely without justifying ourselves.

It’s taken years for me to allow myself to be heard. I’ve spent most of my adult life smiling and remaining silent, the words seemed to be stuck in my throat. It is an injustice to our soul to remain silent. When we don’t speak up, we give our power away and it leads others to believe that we accept how things are and being taken advantage of.

We are so afraid of what others will think or that we’ll end up being alone, we tolerate the unacceptable. I’d never been taught how to speak my mind without fear or thoughtfully. My education came from life bringing people and situations that helped me to overcome those hurdles.

How to Purposefully Speak Up for Yourself

Be Open and Honest

Teach people how to treat you by being transparent when you communicate instead of agreeing or smiling just to keep the peace. It takes practice, but when you speak honestly without being complacent, intimidating and defensive people will be more open to hearing what you have to say. When you do speak be consistent and firm, it will shift every situation.

Be Truthful, Calmly

Speak with confidence, be assertive without aggression.  If a bill is incorrect, don’t let it go, call and dispute it.  If someone is aggressive with you, instead of reacting, respond calmly and thoughtfully by telling them how you feel. No one knows what you’re feeling until you speak up.

Don’t Be Afraid to Disagree

What others do or say has nothing to do with you. There are always people who thrive on trying to control others, intimidating or set in attack mode without taking others into consideration. Don’t cater to them by reacting with anger, shouting or intimidation. Speak up, take a breath, calmly express your perspective. Be sure to clarify what you’re saying and either listen to their response or end the conversation.

Practice Makes You Better

When anyone criticizes or pressures you to do something that isn’t in line with who you are or they’re negligent of your feelings, say something.  This may also mean ending relationships with people who don’t value you or your circumstances. Practice asking for what you need as often as you can.  Your life will only be better each time you enforce the new habit of consciously speaking your mind.

Your Time is Always Yours

Most of us have a hard time saying no to giving our time away.  I know I did for years, I would say yes when I wanted to say no because I wanted everyone to be happy. Don’t let obligations or your kindness get in the way of how you spend the hours in your day, you are the only one who is in control of your time. Break away from people or situations that absorb your precious time.

No One is Responsible for How you Feel or Act but You

No one can invalidate your opinions, you are in complete control of what you believe, how you feel, what you think and how you act. Remember that when you try to negate others point of view, they’re perception is as valid as yours.

I hope this is useful for you. I appreciate your time, thank you for reading my post.

A Self-Esteem Activity Including Ways to Enhance Your Confidence

Self Esteem Activity

How is your self-esteem?  Review the following statements, then indicate if they are True or False for you. After finishing, go back and check over your answers. Answer all of the questions to get a true picture of yourself.

This personal exercise is to help you to better understand your self-esteem. There are no right or wrong answers, this is just a way for you to gauge where you are and where you can relieve yourself of beliefs and unresolved issues holding you back from being who you truly are.

  1. I don’t feel adequate when I handle new situations.  True False
  2. I accept criticism without getting upset.  True False
  3. I accept myself unconditionally. True False
  4. I don’t exaggerate, pretend or lie. True False
  5. I am not afraid to express my feelings. True False
  6. I don’t feel resentful when I lose. True False
  7. I don’t worry about what other’s think about me. True False
  8. I don’t feel a victim. True False
  9. I accept my body as it is. True False
  10. I don’t need other people’s opinion to feel good about myself. True False
  11. I can stand up for myself without being aggressive. True False
  12. I don’t feel like a failure. True False
  13. I don’t feel guilty when I say “no”. True False
  14. I have good relationship with other people, I have no fear of abandonment. True False
  15. I don’t begrudge other people’s success. True False

Total Score 12-15 = You have a deep sense of worth, self-respect and live a balanced life.

Total Score 8-11 = You are on the right path, keep it up.

Total Score 7 -5 = You have a tendency toward self-criticism and to put yourself down. You’re afraid to take risks and make mistakes. You lack confidence.

Total Score < 4 = You are concerned with other people’s opinions and you may lack assertiveness. Your tendency is to ignore your needs because you want to please others. You might have self-destructive habits. You lack confidence, hide your true feelings and have problems establishing intimacy in relationships.

How Self-Esteem Can Affect Your Life

I struggled with self-esteem issues for years, trying to live up to an image of perfection that wasn’t who I was or honoring the beauty of my uniqueness. In all the years that I had a cynical view of myself, the relationships I had reflected how I treated myself. Since then I’ve spent some time concentrating on myself and things have improved notably. Raising your self-esteem isn’t easy when you’re drowning in comparisons and an accumulation of beliefs that you’re not good enough just as you are, but when you take the steps to dig into your shadows and rise above all of that, it is a magnificent feeling.

Advantages for a High Self-Esteem from Me and Henry Ford Allegiance Health

  1. Your expectations are more in line with reality, and as a result, you’re less critical of yourself and others
  2. You’re better able to handle stress (and avoid the unhealthy side effects that come with it)
  3. You’re less likely to develop an eating disorder
  4. You’re not as likely to battle feelings of worthlessness, guilt or shame
  5. You’re more likely to be assertive about expressing what you want, need or think
  6. You can build strong, honest relationships (and are less likely to stay in unhealthy ones)
  7. You have greater confidence in your ability to make good decisions.
  8. You bounce back more easily when it comes to life’s inevitable setbacks
  9. You’re more able to forgive yourself and others
  10. You will have a clearer sense of your values, worth, and integrity
  11. You will be less self-focused and more able to reach out to others 
  12. When you have a healthy self-esteem you will know yourself; be able to assess who you truly are, what your gifts are and ways to share them
  13. You will naturally love and accept yourself as you are, knowing that you can improve and develop any aspect of yourself that you choose

Secrets to Creating a Healthy Self Esteem and How to Apply Them

Live Consciously. Pay close attention to how you feel and the thoughts that come into your mind. Be aware of the view you hold of yourself and how it affects the way you act whether alone or with others.

Learn from Inaccurate Judgments.  I personally don’t believe in mistakes, we only know what we know. It is okay to say, “I was wrong or made an assumption”, own it and learn from it. We do the best we can with what we know, when we know better, we do better. You’ve discovered something about yourself and you will go forward a better person.

Listen To Other’s Point Of View without Judgment. It is easy to get caught up in our own opinion, even if it’s negative. Asking for and listening to other points of view can help you to realize your own truth and what you have intuitively known all along. It also helps you to realize that when someone offers their opinion it is based on their perception and life experiences. A good way to express your opinion in a non confrontational way, “from my personal experience or based on what I’ve learned.”

Take Care Of Yourself Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually. Taking care of yourself should be focused on your physical, intellectual and spiritual well-being to create new behaviorsWe all have choices, it is up to us to take responsibility for our over-all well-being. 

Take Responsibility for Your Life. Not owning up to our actions keeps us stuck, feeling miserable and unhappy.  Wayne Dyer said, “No matter how much I protest, I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me in my life”. Keeping this in mind will help you to create a different way of seeing things and being.

Speak and Act from Your Own Convictions. Be authentic and true to who you are and your values. Speak up and empower yourself to take control of your life. I guarantee you will feel better about yourself.

Have a Sense of Purpose & Direction. What do you want and where is your life going?  It is necessary to develop a sense of direction and focus on what you want to create a healthy self-esteem. 

Meditate Daily. Whether you take a walk in nature or meditate in a quiet and serene environment, take time to be still. This practice is vital to your mental and physical well-being and self-confidence.

Visualization – Use your ability to visualize your ideal situation, work, home, family, health, etc. See it in your mind as you would if it were real and the way your life would look, ideally. Visualizing is a great way to help create the life you want and stay focused in a positive way.

Forgive. Forgiving is never for anyone but yourself. Not forgiving is like carrying a heavy load without any relief, it is difficult and painful to move forward with your life. Forgiving is putting all of your baggage behind you and lightening your load. 

Avoid ‘should’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are concentrated on shoulds, it is time to let go of them, and the unreasonable rules you’ve held for yourself. Instead embrace new ways to enhance your life and the unique person that you are.

Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of things that have gone well. This is a way to help steer you away from the tendency to be negative about yourself and your abilities.

Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Whether the changes are in your relationships, your lifestyle or within you, give yourself a pat on the back for taking the necessary steps to view yourself in a healthier and honest way.

  I decided to by happy for the rest of my life because it is good for my health, Voltaire

Thank you for taking time to stop by. I appreciate any ideas or thoughts you have about self-esteem or any questions that you have.

 

Loving Yourself First

 

self-loveBefore you can love others, you must love yourself first and foremost. Speak only lovingly to yourself and about yourself, there are a multitude of benefits that you will experience with a boost to your self-esteem.

Here are some ways to get started:

  1. Make yourself a priority
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others
  3. List your strengths and focus on them
  4. De-clutter your surroundings
  5. Become active, walk, run, swim
  6. Express yourself creatively doing whatever makes you happy cooking, pottery, photography, dancing, art
  7. Surround yourself with positive people who will support you
  8. Be your own best friend, take a deep breath and know you’re doing the best that you can
  9. Be true to you, enjoy the unique beautiful person that you are

How does resistance to self-love show up in your life? Are you staying with someone who you aren’t aligned with? Are you staying in a job that you are unhappy with? Is your health idling? Are you stuck in the problems of your life?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it is time to embrace love for yourself. Then the actions you take will not only benefit you, but everyone involved. What you’re effecting is an act of compassion to yourself that spreads like wildfire to everyone around you.

Kindness and love are natural to us. When you show compassion toward yourself then you’re helping to create a more peaceful and loving world.

Thank you for stopping by, namaste

The Ultimate Love

Healthy Attitude

You are worthy because you were born. Gary Zukav

Even if you don’t believe it now, you were born a masterpiece, your self-worth is the foundation for a happy life.  To be less preoccupied with your body image and more aware of your soul or your spirit requires that you change your focus from your physical or external appearance to your heart and inner voice. In other words, instead of being absorbed with your body image, shift your thoughts to being dedicated to loving your essence and your soul’s development, the spirit and joy of who you are and the reason you’re alive.

When you have positive self-esteem, you’re connecting  with your highest self.  When you have a low or no self-esteem, you are absorbed with your outward appearance which supports thoughts of your image that inevitably holds you back from the life you are here to experience.

Do you feel unfulfilled or unhappy with your life and think that there is nothing about you that is lovable or worthy?  Rather than criticizing or judging yourself, imagine yourself as a painting, you can choose to replace what doesn’t feel good with what does. Eliminating low self-esteem is a process, one belief, one feeling and one thought at a time.  What took years to develop will take time and effort on your part, all you have to do is take tiny steps every day to heal and allow your true essence to appear.

Self Love

The Creation of a Healthy Self Esteem

Self-esteem is created by your thoughts, relationships and life experiences. Developing a healthy self-esteem includes cultivating a positive emotional well-being, becoming assertive, resilient and creating a new belief system.  It is learning to love yourself unconditionally.  You freely give love to your family and friends, why not give it to yourself.  After all, if you don’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else?

There are two primary reasons why self-awareness is so important:

  • It will help you to observe yourself and create a life free from self-judgment and criticism. (How can you best respond to what you cannot clearly and objectively see?)
  • It helps you to see yourself as you truly are and discover your authentic self. Isn’t it about time you started to get to know yourself?

Be Attentive to Your Needs. Is your self-talk encouraging you to ignore your needs because you tend to concentrate on living up to other’s expectations or unrealistic expectations you have created for yourself?  As children, we were conditioned to believe that what other people thought about us was more important than what we felt inside, who we truly were. In order for you to build a positive self-esteem requires that you listen to your intuition or gut instinct, sensations and insights.  Setting time aside each day to be alone with your thoughts will help you to develop that sense of awareness.

Dr. Wayne Dyer explains:

Here are the major perceptions of those who know they are worthy and deserving of all of God’s blessings:

  • My self-esteem comes from myself. (As a child of God, my worthiness is a given.)
  • I accept myself without complaint and without conditions.
  • I take full responsibility for my life and what it is and is not. (I blame no one.)
  • I do not choose to accept guilt into my life. (I live in the present moment.)
  • I understand the importance of having harmony between my thoughts, my feelings, and my behavior. (This harmony translates into peace and contentment.)

Your soul wants to experience harmony and peace.  When you can connect with that concept and the realization that your soul is the truth and magnificence of who you are, you will exude that beauty and confidence to everyone around you and the world. Wayne Dyer

Peace and love, namaste. (to be continued)