Our Legacy, How Many Hearts Will We Touch?

It’s easy to get caught up in day to day life and forget about the memories we will leave behind, The sudden death of a photographer who recently shared his wisdom with me gave me pause to reflect on the fragility of life. Even though I didn’t know the man personally, my memories of him are of a magnificent photographer, a kind person who enjoyed what he did; and that he loved and appreciated his life. His passing triggered a journey into reflecting on my legacy and reminded me of how essential it is to be more mindful of the way we live, no matter the circumstances we are faced with. When we do depart this earthly life, it will not be the material possessions or money we leave but how we were as a person that will be etched in the minds of anyone we engaged with forever.

Reflecting upon the upending events of this year, I believe we’ve been given an opportunity or a silver lining in the midst of all of this to transition to a simpler, less frantic life and given more time to take stock of who we are and if we’re living as authentically as we can.

Consider setting some time aside to think about the legacy you want to leave behind: explore the recollections, narratives and reminiscences that will remain in the minds and hearts of those lives you touched and your contribution to future generations.

Becoming Vulnerable – to Have Healthier Friendships/Relationships

Relationships are complex, challenging and a source for growth. Going into any relationship in a state of unawareness, guarded and carrying baggage comes from making the same choices over and over again which only leads to heartbreak and turmoil. Stripping away habitual behaviors to become open and vulnerable is the only way to experience healthier, happier relationships.

Without vulnerability, relationships struggle. Vulnerability is, ‘Here I am – my frayed edges, my secrets, my fears, my affection. Be careful – they’re precious.’ In return, it invites, ‘Oh, I see you there. It’s okay, you’re safe. And here – here’s me.’ It builds trust, closeness and a sense of belonging. Relationships won’t thrive without it. Karen Young

Being vulnerable isn’t easy, exposing our most vulnerable self is a lot of work and doesn’t happen overnight, it is a process that happens as we build confidence and certainty that it’s okay to be ourselves and genuine around others.

If you view relationships as a way to become a better person instead of a way to fill a void or to make you happy, they will function better and differently and all of the relationship stumbling blocks most people experience will eventually fall away. This is effective for all relationships, not just those of a romantic nature, love and vulnerability aren’t limited to romance, in fact, they are the true nature of humanity.

Healthy relationships are always growing and changing allowing for introspection, personal growth and the ability to shift our way of being. The key to healthy relationships is that they be backed with consciously chosen meaningful intentions where everyone is always seen and heard and feels secure knowing that no matter what is said or discussed, there are no judgments, conditions or opinions that will diminish the heart of the connection between you.

First, we should be in a strong and wholesome relationship with ourselves, that will open the door for healthier relations. As we become vulnerable we will learn that our happiness and accountability in a relationship is our responsibility. then we will lift the burden of expecting anyone else to care for our happiness and feelings. Unfortunately, a majority of relationships are unconscious, revolving around feeling safe and relying on the other person to make us happy, that is what we’ve come to expect and what strains most relationships. Healthy relationships of any kind are grounded in consciousness, unquestioning trust, giving space to each person to be authentic and feeling completely accepted.

Vulnerable relationships are different asking that we be conscious, aware of our emotions, actions and words and that we are able to be ourselves. I recently read a quote that helped me put into words the way I approach relationships now, it was something like we must understand that relationships are not to make us happy but a part of our lives for us to learn and grow from.

Redefining a relationship isn’t easy, no matter how mindful we are. For me, the best way I’ve found not to conditionalize a relationship based on past experiences is to work on myself towards well-being and self-confidence and always remind myself this is a different person and situation. Because I live in awareness, I make sure to treat people as I want to be treated. Being aware and conscious is a great part of vulnerability and a constant effort meaning we can never slip into unconscious oblivion again. I can suggest trying what I’ve discovered, ask yourself questions like what will happen if say this or how would I feel if someone treated me this way before I say or do anything.

A major factor that changed the dynamics and the type of relationship I have with myself was when I chose to create boundaries such as not letting what others thought of me or my choices interfere with what I decided or how I thought of myself. I also took another big step toward being true to myself by reducing the number of people I was surrounded by. For me, that was a fairly significant move that led to a smaller circle of trusted friends. Becoming conscious and vulnerable is going to bring an obstacle course with everyone in your life, this is where you will experience the most change and weed out those people who aren’t on the same page with you.

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”― Brene Brown

Being vulnerable is tricky, we can’t configure or manipulate our authenticity in any way to be accepted by another. We have to be happy with ourselves and then do the work at remaining genuine to attract the healthy relationships we deserve. Another major step is to not allow the years of self-protection from pain and toxic behavior that caused us to shut down and close people out prevent our progress to being a happier person.

Finally, I’d like to close with a video I watched and another part of the process of developing healthy friendships/relationships, Frientimacy: The 3 Requirements of All Healthy Friendships by Shasta Nelson

Thank you for reading my post, always live your life with your mind and heart connection in the forefront.

Competition, Thief of Joy

Life for us has become an endless succession of contests. From the moment the alarm clock rings until sleep overtakes us again, from the time we are toddlers until the day we die, we are busy struggling to outdo others. This is our posture at work and at school, on the playing field and back at home. It is the common denominator of American life. Alfie Kohn

The title of this blog almost sounds like a misnomer because the majority of the human race thinks of competition as sports, games, fun, winning a medal or a trophy and as being a winner.  How can competition rob us of the enjoyment and pleasure we feel when it appears to bestow us with a high of being number one.

But, I ask that you think back throughout your life whenever you were involved in anything competitive, how did you feel when someone else won?

I’ve reflected on competition for a long time especially when the biggest and most well-known competition, the Olympics began.  I don’t watch the games but I realized that there are only a handful of “winners” and there are hundreds of people who no one hears about, people who didn’t place or win who worked just as hard as the few on top. People are mesmerized for two weeks with the glamour of the entertainment and energy of the games, but once they’re over, it’s all forgotten as we get on with our lives.  Interestingly, all of the people participating spend most of their lives focused on training and preparing to win and for that one big moment, then it’s over.  The winners stand on the podium and are handed a medal and the world applauds.  There is monetary gain for only a small percentage of the athletes who are given an opportunity for endorsements, the rest are forgotten and go back to their lives. Do we ever hear about or know how those who didn’t win feel or how their life went afterward?

Through my research,  I’ve learned that cooperation not competition is our natural state of being.  We aren’t born hostile with the intention of bringing someone else down, that behavior is handed down from one generation to the next. We unnaturally push ourselves to best someone because we’re taught that being a winner is the best.  But, in truth, competition is filled with selfishness while we hope for the downfall of others, it is filled with anxiety, stress and pressure. Once we start down the road of winning, once is never enough, it almost becomes necessary for our confidence and self-esteem, putting us in a constant state competitive power.

Emerging research shows that competition is deleterious in many ways.

  • With children, competition serves to dissolve self-confidence and spread self-doubt, even among frequent winners who learn to become dependent on external sources of validation.
  • Among adults, competition leads directly to hostility and greed, both of which are the enemies of progress.

If we want to advance our society and ourselves, we must learn that competition is not the path to victory — cooperation is. Tiffany Rowe

I’m  not competitive by nature, when playing games, I enjoy the process more than who wins or loses.  Putting that in context, for me the journey in any competition is more rife with tools to learn, skill building and enjoyment.

There are many tribal societies that thrive on cooperative living and have endured for centuries.  Competition as a whole encourages greed, betrayal, to be better than others, the importance of being a winner, the lack of compassion, cooperation and most of all an absence of kindness. Competition is toxic in relationships, in business, education, in all of life. There is no benefit when someone feels inferior, lacks self-confidence, is depressed or believes they aren’t good enough. I believe it is time to instill cooperation and encourage each other to be the best person we can be.

The  result of competition is radical climate change, biological and nuclear warfare, rampant habitat destruction, water shortages, and extremes in global wealth and poverty. Louise Palmer

Cooperation is beneficial not to a few but to everyone, here are some of the advantages:

  1. Cooperative Play – A bond is formed when challenge, discovery and success is shared by everyone.
  2.  Cooperative Learning and Work –  When we compete whether at work or in school, we are invested in ourselves and what will benefit us without giving thought to anyone else, we consider everyone our rival.  But, when we cooperate, we support and help each other, giving each individual value and respect. Rather than striving to be number one, the intention is that everyone succeed, it shifts us away from greed, selfishness, aggression, anger and hurt feelings. Cooperation creates an environment of unity, openness, honesty and trust.
  3. Cooperative Activities for our Well-Being  – Competition causes enormous stress, anxiety, hostility, embarrassment and tension, can you imagine the state of our health? Cooperative activities create an atmosphere of play, relaxation and enjoying ourselves without judgment, the foundation for healthy and playful fun.

I’d like to conclude with this very powerful quote:

We destroy the love of learning in children, which is so strong when they are small, by encouraging and compelling them to work for petty and contemptible rewards–gold stars, or papers marked 100 and tacked to the wall, or A’s on report cards, or honor rolls, or dean’s lists, or Phi Beta Kappa keys–in short, for the ignoble satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else.  John Holt

Thank you, I appreciate your time.

Laura

Inner Peace = World Peace

“World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.” Dalai Lama

I’ve learned to achieve inner peace even when there is chaos around me simply by just being and not allowing outside problems affect my peace of mind.  This is a state of harmony everyone can achieve with practice.

Inner peace is something most of us want but don’t have or know how to achieve. I believe that when we’re inundated with the stresses of the world, work, daily life demands, kids and tight schedules, it is difficult to imagine how we can ever be at peace. Not being in a state of peace is a learned behavior, we are very capable of unlearning something at any time, especially when we truly desire change. When we make inner peace a priority instead of what is going on around us, it will change the way we see everything, our family, job, relationships, our health and state of mind and the world.

“Peace is not something you wish for, it is something you make, something you are, something you do, and something you give away.”  ― Robert Fulghum

It Starts with You

It is my belief and experience that global peace begins inside of each and every one of us.  Of course we all have busy lives; it is easy to get caught up in the routine we follow every day. Not that daily life routines aren’t important, even venerable, but the approach we take and the way we handle what takes place each day makes a huge difference. There is a distinction between approaching things unconsciously with little attention paid and doing things with intention of purpose peacefully.  The basis of inner peace is simply people willing to take responsibility for their own peace and peacefulness.

Inner peace isn’t about changing what is going on outside of you, it is about changing what’s going on inside you by managing how you are, which in turn affects others in your family, your neighborhood, your community and eventually the world.

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” – Pema Chodron

Peace Mind-Map

Inner Peace – Simply

Start with something as simple and natural as changing the way you wake up in the morning. Most people start their morning by preparing for a hectic schedule and going through a preview of the day before they even rise from bed then the turmoil begins, because that is the way things have always been done. Inner peace calls for you to stop that process and recreate it by consciously waking; as you rise in the morning, start by simply saying thank you just for being alive, then take a few long, slow deep breaths, smile and start your day as if you mean it.  Stop the daily preview chatter by slowing your mind and reminding yourself to be calm; that you are in charge not the commotion or order of the day.  I am not suggesting passivity by being indifferent and unresponsive,  but by being calm or at peace exudes tranquility and thoughtfulness.

Be truly grateful. We have a tendency to take what we are fortunate to have for granted. Start each day with appreciation for what seems ordinary: running water, electricity, the stove, clean dishes, your children, spouse, your family, your pets; you get the idea. When we begin to give thanks for what we already have no matter how simple, it brings a feeling of appreciation. Thankfulness and awareness for the good things in our lives is a good start to experiencing internal peace.

Additional Ways to Inner Peace (  )

  1. Set limits.
  2. Find a relaxation technique that work for you.
  3. Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.
  4. Slow down.
  5. Unclutter your world, unclutter your mind.
  6. Use a minimalistic workspace.
  7. Be 10 minutes early.
  8. Breathe
  9. Remember the 5 little words that’ll help you to stay sane: “one thing at a time. “

” If there’s no inner peace, people can’t give it to you. The husband can’t give it to you. Your children can’t give it to you. You have to give it to you.”  Linda Evans

Peace Improves Your Health

Achieving inner peace is the gateway to improved health.  Instead of allowing what is taking place in your life to be the master, why not make how you feel and the way you want your life to be a priority. That will put the control of you in your hands instead of the outside world.  True inner peace is the best medicine for your overall state of wellness. Did you know that when you remain upset about something that happened in the past and when you repeat the story that your body returns to a state of distress, as if it is in the actual situation again? That form of stress is dangerous to your health and the beginning point for disease.

Health Benefits of Inner Peace

  •  It lowers oxygen consumption.
  • It decreases respiratory rate.
  • It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
  • Increases exercise tolerance.
  • Leads to a deeper level of physical relaxation.
  • Good for people with high blood pressure.
  • Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
  • Decreases muscle tension
  • Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis etc.
  • Reduces Pre-menstrual Syndrome symptoms.
  • Helps in post-operative healing.
  • Enhances the immune system.
  • Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
  • Enhances energy, strength and vigor.
  • Helps with weight loss
  • Reduction of free radicals, less tissue damage
  • Higher skin resistance
  • Drop in cholesterol levels, lowers risk of cardiovascular disease.
  • Improved flow of air to the lungs resulting in easier breathing.
  • Decreases the aging process.
  • Prevents, slows or controls pain of chronic diseases
  • Makes you sweat less
  • Cures headaches & migraines
  • Greater Orderliness of Brain Functioning
  • Reduced Need for Medical Care
  • Less energy wasted
  • More inclined to sports, activities
  • Significant relief from asthma
  • Improved performance in athletic events
  • Normalizes to your ideal weight
  • Harmonizes our endocrine system
  • Relaxes our nervous system
  • Produces lasting beneficial changes in brain electrical activity
  • Cure infertility (the stresses of infertility can interfere with the release of hormones that regulate ovulation). (Courtesy of peacerevolution.net)

Inner peace is our natural state of being

When we respond to what is going on in front of us instead of reacting or acting irrationally no matter what it is, is when we will know that we are capable of inner peace. Worry and anxiety never ever changes anything, in fact it stops you from making sound choices and experiencing clarity.  Inner peace helps you to develop courage, strength, resilience and an understanding that life is cyclical. Even though you’re going through a bundle of emotions, you will better be able to handle something difficult when you’re in a state of peace. Seek ways to calm yourself and improve your self-talk to help you stay on the path.  When you’re in a state of peace, self-care will be at the top of your list instead of the bottom.

Keys to Inner Peace

Assistant professor at the University of Texas-MD Anderson Cancer Center and at the UT Medical School, Alejandro Chaoul, teaches courses in their Integrative Medicine program. His work on mind-body practice as an integrative cancer care include Tibetan yoga and meditation. In this video he shares how he has helped many reach a new level of inner peace and health.

“Keys To Inner Peace”

I sincerely appreciate your time, thank you for reading my post.

Laura

Letting your little light shine, shine, shine

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. Marianne Williamson

Do you play small or do you let your light shine for all the world to see?  While it’s easier to play small, from my experience, letting your light shine is leading the way for others to let theirs shine too. Remember those of us who’ve learned to rely on our inner wisdom are role models to help break the patterns of relying on old ways and our logical minds.  This is especially important for today’s world because we can take an active role in transforming into light humanity’s mis-creations.

“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” – Maya Angelou

Our inner light, depending on where we are spiritually, is either the size of a candle flame or a beacon of light.  A way to expand it is to invest ourselves in mindfully choosing to stop complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves and finding ways to light the way for others.

Using our inner light is a vital part of fulfilling our purpose. Remember that some days will be harder than others, but as we choose to work from the inside out when we come to an obstacle, we will do whatever is necessary to find ways to move forward.

When we are focused on shining our light, keep in mind that no endeavor is too small. An effortless and basic practice that I’ve used for years is to offer a sincere, silent intention that only love and kindness enter a space or someone’s life, a simple way to bring love into the world.

Other ways that we can connect with our inner light:

  • be of service to others
  • acts of kindness
  • being joyful
  • living more purposefully
  • being a loving presence
  • and/or sharing our gifts

I’d been letting my light shine for years, but it was limited to what I allowed my time to be invested in.  Once I stopped doing what was expected by others and doing what I knew was right for me,  I became more aware of being a part of the change in a bigger way. No matter how I choose to shine my light, I know it is radiating out into the world as a part of global change. Just imagine how someone who needs that light feels?

To make this transformation, start small, be gentle with yourself, remember there are no rules, and that this is a very personal journey of taking conscious, deliberate steps toward allowing your light to shine to bring positive change into your life and the lives of others.

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

A New Beginning for Me, Returning Home – Part 2 Unanticipated Bravery

 

I arrived safely at my first destination in Wyoming.  The trip was a three and a half day adventure I will never forget. I hope that my determination to be happy and live life my way can inspire you to be brave.

There is nothing more liberating for the soul than to allow yourself to be braver than you’ve ever been in your life.  I’d been living in an unimaginably difficult situation  I realized I couldn’t change, so I finally opened up and shared my circumstances and my sister and brother-in-law who threw me a life line to help me.  A life lesson from this experience is no matter how awakened we are, we cannot always handle difficult situations on our own. In fact, the help I got to leave was the best decision for both myself and the other person involved, I knew it was the right and only thing to do.

I realized I had to do whatever it took, no matter how scared I was not only for myself but for the people I love.  It takes courage and belief in the impossible to look past a situation we are in to do what is necessary for ourselves.  Being brave in my way of seeing things means we have to love ourselves enough to know we are worthy of the best life we can have, no matter what we are faced with.

Being brave is letting go of fear of the unknown, because everything we need will be there for us, it was for me. I’d considered ways out of my situation many times, but I held off on the obvious solution because I was sure I could never do it, but I did it and while there were unexpected challenges along the way, I kept going knowing that I was on my way to a better life.

I  believe that everything happens for a reason.  When I was helped by the kindness of my family, I knew I wanted to extend kindness any way I could to pay it forward. When you’re life doesn’t feel right or good,  love yourself enough to be braver than you’ve ever been and do what you know is right. My advice to anyone contemplating a major life change is to ignore what everyone else thinks or says and do what feels right in your heart, life is too short not to and so much better when you follow the wisdom of your heart.

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

 

The Universe (the real Secret); How to Make it Work for You

No one knows something that the rest of us don’t. There are plenty of books and teachings that offer the misguided idea that there is a secret or unknown process that only they know for you to manifest everything you want from great financial gain to the perfect life mate. Every one of us has the same abilities, the real secret is to become aware of your life and then work with the Universe to make the changes that will move you forward.

The Universe/God isn’t associated with a specific religion, spiritual organization or special people, it just is and it helps us align with our path through all of our life experiences. It is available to everyone all of the time and in its divine perfection provides everything we need, no matter who we are or where we live.

Working with the Universe isn’t about forcing a situation or people nor is it about sitting and waiting for the world to come to us.  It is about being aware when the time is right, taking guided action and seizing the right opportunity when it appears. When we allow the outcome to be whatever it is, the Universe will bring the right solutions and people at the perfect time.

Have faith and believe that the Universe/God is always supporting us, things happen when we least expect them to, there is a divine time for everything. Accept your life as it is, allow the Universe/God to create the perfect situation and I promise you’ll be surprised.

I cannot count the times the Universe has surprised me. I felt stuck, I didn’t know what to do or how to move forward when everything began to happen and what I needed flowed to me exactly as it should.  My most recent experience with the miracles of the Universe happened when I wanted to move to a new location. Being mindful made it easy for me to notice the signs, the energy and the way things were going to prepare me.

How to work with the ways of the Universe to create your own magic:

  • Be appreciative for what you do have, that is the foundation for opening life’s doors for you
  • Take time to be still, your heart always knows what it needs
  • If you believe in Angels let them help you, when you ask they will be there for you
  • Ask for an outcome to best serve everyone involved rather than for specific results
  • Combine positive thoughts and ideas with guided action to bring what you need to life
  • Pray or talk whenever you feel the need, there is no special time or place
  • Rather than beg, thank the Universe for bringing the best situation or solution as though it already is
  • Visualize – relax, close your eyes and use your imagination. Include all of your senses, hearing, touch, feeling and smell to mentally create the situation as a complete success
  • Become aware of things going on around you, be observant of everything
  • Pay attention to your gut instinct, it is in perfect sync with the Universe
  • Signs are everywhere, look for them, they are always there to let you know you’re on the right track
  • When your inner voice directs you, take whatever steps you can, then when you’ve done everything you can, give it to the Universe/God and let life happen
  • Pay attention to clear messages or opportunities, (the woman I now rent with was the most enthusiastic person I connected with, I knew in my heart that she was sent to me)
  • Be prepared for things to move quickly. You won’t always be given a lot of time to act. It takes strength, courage, tenacity and determination to flow with the Universe

I appreciate your time, thank you for reading my post.

A Self-Esteem Activity Including Ways to Enhance Your Confidence

Self Esteem Activity

How is your self-esteem?  Review the following statements, then indicate if they are True or False for you. After finishing, go back and check over your answers. Answer all of the questions to get a true picture of yourself.

This personal exercise is to help you to better understand your self-esteem. There are no right or wrong answers, this is just a way for you to gauge where you are and where you can relieve yourself of beliefs and unresolved issues holding you back from being who you truly are.

  1. I don’t feel adequate when I handle new situations.  True False
  2. I accept criticism without getting upset.  True False
  3. I accept myself unconditionally. True False
  4. I don’t exaggerate, pretend or lie. True False
  5. I am not afraid to express my feelings. True False
  6. I don’t feel resentful when I lose. True False
  7. I don’t worry about what other’s think about me. True False
  8. I don’t feel a victim. True False
  9. I accept my body as it is. True False
  10. I don’t need other people’s opinion to feel good about myself. True False
  11. I can stand up for myself without being aggressive. True False
  12. I don’t feel like a failure. True False
  13. I don’t feel guilty when I say “no”. True False
  14. I have good relationship with other people, I have no fear of abandonment. True False
  15. I don’t begrudge other people’s success. True False

Total Score 12-15 = You have a deep sense of worth, self-respect and live a balanced life.

Total Score 8-11 = You are on the right path, keep it up.

Total Score 7 -5 = You have a tendency toward self-criticism and to put yourself down. You’re afraid to take risks and make mistakes. You lack confidence.

Total Score < 4 = You are concerned with other people’s opinions and you may lack assertiveness. Your tendency is to ignore your needs because you want to please others. You might have self-destructive habits. You lack confidence, hide your true feelings and have problems establishing intimacy in relationships.

How Self-Esteem Can Affect Your Life

I struggled with self-esteem issues for years, trying to live up to an image of perfection that wasn’t who I was or honoring the beauty of my uniqueness. In all the years that I had a cynical view of myself, the relationships I had reflected how I treated myself. Since then I’ve spent some time concentrating on myself and things have improved notably. Raising your self-esteem isn’t easy when you’re drowning in comparisons and an accumulation of beliefs that you’re not good enough just as you are, but when you take the steps to dig into your shadows and rise above all of that, it is a magnificent feeling.

Advantages for a High Self-Esteem from Me and Henry Ford Allegiance Health

  1. Your expectations are more in line with reality, and as a result, you’re less critical of yourself and others
  2. You’re better able to handle stress (and avoid the unhealthy side effects that come with it)
  3. You’re less likely to develop an eating disorder
  4. You’re not as likely to battle feelings of worthlessness, guilt or shame
  5. You’re more likely to be assertive about expressing what you want, need or think
  6. You can build strong, honest relationships (and are less likely to stay in unhealthy ones)
  7. You have greater confidence in your ability to make good decisions.
  8. You bounce back more easily when it comes to life’s inevitable setbacks
  9. You’re more able to forgive yourself and others
  10. You will have a clearer sense of your values, worth, and integrity
  11. You will be less self-focused and more able to reach out to others 
  12. When you have a healthy self-esteem you will know yourself; be able to assess who you truly are, what your gifts are and ways to share them
  13. You will naturally love and accept yourself as you are, knowing that you can improve and develop any aspect of yourself that you choose

Secrets to Creating a Healthy Self Esteem and How to Apply Them

Live Consciously. Pay close attention to how you feel and the thoughts that come into your mind. Be aware of the view you hold of yourself and how it affects the way you act whether alone or with others.

Learn from Inaccurate Judgments.  I personally don’t believe in mistakes, we only know what we know. It is okay to say, “I was wrong or made an assumption”, own it and learn from it. We do the best we can with what we know, when we know better, we do better. You’ve discovered something about yourself and you will go forward a better person.

Listen To Other’s Point Of View without Judgment. It is easy to get caught up in our own opinion, even if it’s negative. Asking for and listening to other points of view can help you to realize your own truth and what you have intuitively known all along. It also helps you to realize that when someone offers their opinion it is based on their perception and life experiences. A good way to express your opinion in a non confrontational way, “from my personal experience or based on what I’ve learned.”

Take Care Of Yourself Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually. Taking care of yourself should be focused on your physical, intellectual and spiritual well-being to create new behaviorsWe all have choices, it is up to us to take responsibility for our over-all well-being. 

Take Responsibility for Your Life. Not owning up to our actions keeps us stuck, feeling miserable and unhappy.  Wayne Dyer said, “No matter how much I protest, I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me in my life”. Keeping this in mind will help you to create a different way of seeing things and being.

Speak and Act from Your Own Convictions. Be authentic and true to who you are and your values. Speak up and empower yourself to take control of your life. I guarantee you will feel better about yourself.

Have a Sense of Purpose & Direction. What do you want and where is your life going?  It is necessary to develop a sense of direction and focus on what you want to create a healthy self-esteem. 

Meditate Daily. Whether you take a walk in nature or meditate in a quiet and serene environment, take time to be still. This practice is vital to your mental and physical well-being and self-confidence.

Visualization – Use your ability to visualize your ideal situation, work, home, family, health, etc. See it in your mind as you would if it were real and the way your life would look, ideally. Visualizing is a great way to help create the life you want and stay focused in a positive way.

Forgive. Forgiving is never for anyone but yourself. Not forgiving is like carrying a heavy load without any relief, it is difficult and painful to move forward with your life. Forgiving is putting all of your baggage behind you and lightening your load. 

Avoid ‘should’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are concentrated on shoulds, it is time to let go of them, and the unreasonable rules you’ve held for yourself. Instead embrace new ways to enhance your life and the unique person that you are.

Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of things that have gone well. This is a way to help steer you away from the tendency to be negative about yourself and your abilities.

Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Whether the changes are in your relationships, your lifestyle or within you, give yourself a pat on the back for taking the necessary steps to view yourself in a healthier and honest way.

  I decided to by happy for the rest of my life because it is good for my health, Voltaire

Thank you for taking time to stop by. I appreciate any ideas or thoughts you have about self-esteem or any questions that you have.

 

Are You Making Your Life an Adventure?

 

If today was your last day on earth, would you be at peace knowing you were living a life you loved?  If you could change anything about your life today what would it be? We are given the gift of a life with choices and without a guarantee for how long we are here for.  What choices are you making right now that are in the direction of your happiness? Are you open to experiencing a shift to heart-centered consciousness?

“Our world is in the midst of a major change, and we are awakening. Awakening today from years, decades and centuries of living stifled by illusions and limited by controlling beliefs and unconscious thoughts.” Evita Ochel/Wake Up World

I will share a secret with you, following the rules by doing what you think you’re supposed to do is a heartbreaking way to live. I’ve done that, it never felt as good as life feels now. We all have basic needs that we must meet, that is understood, but at what cost? The millions of empty houses that sit quietly all day, all week and all month waiting for the family to come home to gather to share memories and happy times is a significant reminder of what we are doing with our precious lives. No matter what you do for a living, is it something that you do with all your heart and wouldn’t change a thing?

Life isn’t supposed to be filled with regret, stress, anxiety and paying bills. I lived that way for a long time before I realized how unhappy I was. Life is supposed to be an adventure, with twists and turns and not knowing what’s going to happen, filled with love, happiness and feeling good about the choices we’ve made. Are you happy with who you are and the way you feel about your life?  How do you feel about it?

Part of the process of heart-centered conscious living is asking yourself a lot of very important questions and answering from your heart. A big part of that question and answer period is if you truly believe that you have a choice, because you do. This is the way life is going now, more and more people are starting to look at their lives and are consciously choosing to live differently. A chosen life requires a big change in the way you think, from a life led by the mind to life led by love, compassion, doing for others and coming back to ourselves. Are you ready to live a life of adventure?

Thank you for stopping by, namaste.

Secrets to Assuming the Best

softly-into-the-lightAssuming the best is first and foremost accepting the way things are. Then it’s about being prepared for a better outcome for our growth by altering our beliefs, changing our self-talk and shifting our perspective. I know it sounds like a lot especially with 24-hour news and negative media everywhere, but from my first-hand experience it really works.

Most of us believe that the worst is coming and manage to talk ourselves into defeat and disaster, so, don’t you think it’s time to shift gears, do the work and empower yourself to experience the good of the Universe? By believing that the worst is going to happen, our thoughts being a force of energy as is the Universe, it nearly guarantees that the outcome will be just what we expect. But, it doesn’t have to be that way, because we always have a choice. We cannot control or change external circumstances and no matter what we perceive they are happening to help us. So, the best reminder is we get to choose how we respond and treat whatever situation we’re dealing with differently.

I learned the hard way, I insisted on trying to manipulate and fight what I was experiencing; it never worked. When I finally got it, I knew it was up to me to stop setting myself up to suffer by expecting more from myself. I know it feels a lot better when I focus on an outcome that is for my benefit rather than feeling like I am trapped in a bad situation that just won’t go away.

When a difficulty arises the best way to change your approach is to let go of the way you’re seeing things and letting go of what you think should happen. The more we fight and resist what is happening the more it will hang around and repeat itself until we are ready for a happier existence. It isn’t just about imagining a positive or better outcome, it’s about re-patterning your brain’s way of seeing things. Once we apply this method and open ourselves up to experience a different outcome, our way of life will undergo a significant transformation.

Another way to help our brain expand and change is to learn something new every day, no matter how simple it may be. This one process helps to rewire our brain and change the way it operates. Change truly is mind over matter, we are in the pilot’s seat. It also helps to remember even when a situation goes differently than expected, we will improve and grow.

Changing our beliefs and habits takes effort and faith, even if it is the size of a grain of rice.  Listen to Joe Dispenza in the video below explain how rewiring and evolving your brain will lead to a healthier and happier life.

Thank you for stopping by, namaste.