Unbecoming Who You Are Not, and a Nod to Women’s History Month

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s unbecoming everything that isn’t you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” — Paulo Coelo

Becoming begins when we’re born when our brains aren’t fully developed and we are completely dependent upon the people around us. We tend to take on the characteristics of those caregivers to meet our basic needs and subsist. When we’re young and vulnerable we want to be accepted. Without understanding how they treat others, those closest to us most unfavorable traits such as hostility, lack of self esteem, anger and indifference can be absorbed into our “DNA”. Those traits reinforce adverse behaviors in ourselves such as low self esteem, self-criticism, fear and uncertainty.

The trick to unbecoming takes time, reflection and a huge dose of honesty. In my experience, the last part, honesty, is major. Being completely honest with ourselves takes us out of our comfort zone, but isn’t that where we need to go in order to peel away years of accepting, without question, who we are?

My story is unique but the path I took felt right for me. Unbecoming who I was has been a challenge and a joy. It began seriously for me when my mother passed away. I was fairly close with her so she was the caregiver I emulated most. A large part of my agreement to stifle myself was my belief that I needed her acceptance and approval. Then in 2013 when she died, I felt lost and adrift; I had no idea why, that’s when things broke open for me. I didn’t know who I really was, what I wanted, what I feared or what my reality was. As my “roller coaster” journey to self-realization began, I was eventually able to see that everything I did and how I saw myself was made by a former self I could no longer identify with. As time passed and the layers of the past fell away I began to feel at peace, happier and completely comfortable with the life choices I was making.

I would say that’s the key, when you feel complete peace, happy and comfortable, you’re on your way to unbecoming who you aren’t. When you step out of your comfort zone, letting go of what doesn’t feel right or good is a rite of passage for your soul. Connecting with your truth opens the door to a life that’s authentic and unique. It’s certainly not easy or something you can plan, it’s a matter of unlearning everything about yourself that you’ve just accepted. Just Imagine how much more meaningful your life will be when you’re living as the person your were born to be.

“That inner voice has both gentleness and clarity. So to get to authenticity, you really keep going down to the bone, to the honesty, and the inevitability of something.” – Meredith Monk

No one can tell you how to unbecome the person you aren’t or tell you how to let go of the ways that aren’t true to who you really are, but when you have the idea or notion of what’s possible, things will begin to slowly change and you will then allow who you really are to be liberated. Once the voyage to self authenticity begins, it will be your way of living for the rest of your life. Michael Bryant has quite a story to share of his brokenness and his unbecoming, it is well worth your time to listen.

Women’s History Month

Hedy Lamar was a glamourous, beautiful movie star, but she was also highly intelligent, ideas for inventions came naturally to her. The patent she filed with co-inventor George Antheil aimed to protect their war-time invention for radio communications to ‘hop’ from one frequency to another, so that Allied torpedoes couldn’t be detected by the Nazis. She was the ingenious inventor who planted a seed that would blossom into some of today’s most ubiquitous technology, including Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, GPS, cordless phones and cell phones.

To honor all the women I know and I’m connected with, whether you’re famous or not, your life matters, you are strong, empathetic and you make a difference. We are all “she-roes” in our own way.

A New Way to Stop Overplanning; Living One Day at a Time

One day at a time- this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.” — Ida Scott Taylor

Before I relaxed into a natural life of consciousness, I was so focused on my past “mistakes” and how my future was going to go.  No matter what I did, the past never changed and my future plans had a mind of their own. It was truly exhausting living that way.  I had no idea that I was letting the moment I was in slip into oblivion.  The growing and learning process was slow with many challenges that kept pulling me into understanding that the moment I was in was precious and the only thing that I was sure of.  Now my life is focused on living one day at a time, never letting what I’ve experienced in the past or what may come in the future stop me from enjoying my life right now.

Years ago, I tried a suggested practice someone defines as living backward in time. Its not new for some, but for many people it is a different way of treating life. Living backward means living in the now as if it’s the future that you envision. Setting an intention means thinking forward in time, living in the present means being here now. A way to manage both is to combine the two. That is living “as if”, instead of “what if”and I can attest that it’s very effective. For example, instead of going on a diet to lose weight because your overweight with the potential of gaining it back, live as if you’re 15 pounds lighter, living healthier and the owner of a different lifestyle, your entire way of living and thinking will be forever changed.

Here are several suggestions that I’ve used to re-adjust my thinking to a backward way of living.

  1. Accept uncertainty. It’s impossible to predict the future
  2. Take action, talking about changing usually requires less energy than actually doing it
  3. Stay focused on the day. Start with letting go of planning every minute of your day and go with the flow, I do this very successfully and actually get more done
  4. When engaging with people, put your full attention on them and your conversation, no more half listening or allowing any distractions 
  5. Always have a positive and expectant attitude, smile often, life has a million possibilities
  6. Forgive forgive, forgive past hurts, forgiving is not allowing a person to get away with something, it is about removing yourself from the situation completely and freeing yourself be present and move on
  7. Stop worrying, whatever happens tomorrow, happens, worrying doesn’t change anything and makes it harder for you to maintain your sanity and be present
  8. Let go of past accomplishments, don’t let whatever successes you’ve had in the past interfere with your present, however great they were, they don’t define you or what your capable of
  9. Create your intention now as if it is already successful and the way you envision your future life and dream big

To help me to stay aligned with this way of life, I practice the following habitually so I never slip back into an old, ineffective way of living.  These powerful practices are simple and very effective.

  • Meditate – There are lots of ways to meditate, rather than just lying or sitting still, you can walk, dance, write, listen to music while allowing your mind to go blank and just be, I do it all of the time and find myself thinking less, moving through my day mindfully and so at peace.
  • No Next – imagine that there is no next event, next task, next person or next anything to get to. Invite yourself to stop preparing or getting ready for something else to come. Deliberately remove all elses. Meet now with nowhere and nothing else still to get to. This practice helps you to stay focused on what you’re doing or who your engaging with.
  • See Everything as a Teacher. When you’re feeling frustrated with someone, stressed by work, upset or grieving about a difficult situation or the health of a loved one, just feeling anxious about anything, pause and see this person or situation as a teacher. I find that when you ask yourself what can I learn from what’s going on then the mind is focused on a solution for peace of mind in the moment.
  1. The Power of Self-Reflection – Asking yourself questions keeps you focused on self-improvement and ensures that you are as fulfilled as possible.  What attachments can you see in yourself that are causing you to project to the future or relive the past? What stories are you telling yourself that are causing you to feel this way? What can you let go of? What can you appreciate about this moment that you’re taking for granted? 

We create our lives, so now decide the kind of life you would like to create for yourself and what that life would look like. Then, live it now as if that life and lifestyle were yours already.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha.

Thank you for reading my post and your time.

Living in a Harmonious Society, Lessons from Ancient Egypt

 

 

In ancient Egypt, the more good deeds you did, the lighter your heart became. If your heart was not light, you could not board Ra’s board and sail away into your Afterlife.  Lin Dunn, Ancient Egypt for Kids

This quote explains how ancient Egyptian’s knew that practicing selfless good deeds, living in harmony within their community and remembering that what they did and how they treated others was the ticket to a happy transition when the time came for them to leave this earth plane. While that may appear to be selfish, in truth, it was simply a way of life and a value system that was and is handed down from one generation to the next.

Today, In Cairo as well as major cities in Egypt, a large number of old Egyptian traditions remain from the time of the Pharaohs, and contrast with pure tribal customs brought in by many invaders throughout the centuries. UNESCO

How do you view the human existence?  How do you see the relationship between humanity and nature? What do you think you can do to be more in alignment and harmony with nature and your fellow-man?

I think we can all agree that we are living in very turbulent times, chaos seems to be the dominating factor everywhere we turn. From warring countries to road rage, the world seems to be at a point where it’s clear that we have to find another way to live or humanity will disappear. This is where living mindfully is successful because it’s about being thoughtful, kind, compassionate, observant and knowing that outside events and experiences are not the guideposts for your life, but living consciously within our community to create a harmonious existence is.

From everything I’ve learned over years of research and reading, if we go back in time to a wise and experienced society like the Egyptians, through a change in belief, we can implement harmony, collaboration and cooperation. While the ancients may have had an occasional war with their neighbors; within their society balance reigned. If there were any internal uprisings, they were settled with negotiation or conformity until something changed in order to maintain peace.

One major reason for their success was the common but strong belief in a wonderful life after death. It was not an absolute, it had to be earned, the belief was so strong that all levels of society conducted themselves to assure a safe passage to the afterlife.

I’m not suggesting that everyone believe in life after death, I am suggesting that if we all believed in living in harmony with nature and the balance it can bring, we would effectively be changing the way we interact with each other. Ancient Egyptians were extremely intelligent, their engineering accomplishments are far superior to those we’ve seen in the 21st century.  If they were wise and quick-witted enough to conduct a harmonious social life, settle grievances through a spirit of reciprocation and recognize the vital links between humans, nature and the divine, then so can we.

So what changes can we make?  Of course, the world wasn’t populated the way it is now when the ancients were alive, but in my way of seeing things, change happens one person at a time.  If we choose to embrace a healthy respect for nature, mindfulness and cooperation and live that wherever we go, we can eventually recreate the same kind of world the ancient Egyptians lived in.

For instance, I recently learned that one American rancher achieved more success and connection with his community by leaving commercial ranching behind to create his own compassionate, natural and humane ranch. By following his inner guidance, he inspired many other ranchers to do the same. In another instance, a gentleman who owns a small successful farm, founded a farming coop to help his community maintain their small farms rather than try to fight each other or large commercial farms. This happened because the founder was determined to continue to do what he loved and he knew the community he lived in wanted to do the same, forging social harmony and aligning with nature.

In my life, I moved into a situation where there was stress, conflict and tension between roommates. The love, compassion and balanced approach to situations I’ve brought has changed everything, one roommate even remarked that I am a miracle. We can all be and bring a miracle to effect harmony and live in tune with nature if we let go of the old way of doing things by creating harmony and peace with just our presence.

Ancient Egyptians believed the purpose of life was to nourish the seeds of the divine within us all, they revered the natural world. It is happening slowly as more and more people are coming to understand that we are all linked. People are realizing that life is better for everyone if we live more naturally and are more aware of the vital role we play in caring for nature and each other. I believe It is the only way humanity is going to survive and progress.

Perhaps the greatest lesson to be learnt from the wisdom of sacred traditions is also the
simplest; to honor creation by nurturing a kinship with nature. UNESCO

Nature has life all figured out, we just have to understand her and live in harmony with it. Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

Choose Wisely, Choose Intentionally

Choices are the hinges of destiny.” —Edwin Markham

We live most of our lives believing that we are limited or have no choice, especially in difficult situations. It doesn’t have to be that way, rather than thinking what’s the use and giving up, believe in a better future, decide a course of action by using your life experience and instincts for an outcome that you desire. Whenever I’ve been in a position that required I make a choice especially if it’s complex, I make sure that my happiness and peace of mind are the primary conditions for my final decision.

Every time you’ve had a complicated choice to make, are you choosing with your happiness and values as a priority or on another person’s perception, opinions and feelings with the expectation that you’ll have to live with an outcome that you don’t want?

That question is to prompt you to rethink your patterns;  what are your priorities in making tough decisions, are you choosing based on logic or your intuition? Many of the choices we make are complex and may take much consideration, our values and quality of life have to be a top priority if we want to be happy and fulfilled. Remember if it is to be, it’s up to you, even if it means leaving your comfort zone.

Consider the outcome when you decide with someone else’s life in mind before your own.  Are you really being selfish if you decide on behalf of what works for you?  In my opinion, no.  Making choices that are right for us means we cannot be and should not ever be responsible for someone else’s happiness.

Choosing for ourselves is a right we all deserve, especially since most of us have dealt with people who’ve tried to take our ability to choose away.  Only you know how you want your life to be, never, ever is that anyone’s decision but yours.  That is why choosing consciously and relying on your intuition are optimal ways for you to decide.

Choices have a number of possibilities whether real or imagined, ultimately the choices we make will affect our lives forever. Just think about all of the events in history that have taken place because someone made a choice to do something differently.  You cannot control the world, but you can control how you respond to situations and the choices you make to deal with them. From my own personal experience, no matter what happens outside of you, when you stay focused on making a decision based on what is right for you and you trust yourself, happiness is just a choice away.

Some questions to ask yourself and ways you can make a decision from James Van Praagh:

  1. What is important and valuable to you? What you value may not be of much import to someone else. So know what you value most.
  2. Don’t lose focus on your future. Many people tend to make choices based on life as it appears now instead of looking to the future. Does your choice and its ramifications stay within the goals that you have set for yourself for the future?
  3. Have you looked at all the alternatives and considered different scenarios? Sometimes you just might consider a different outcome.
  4. How important is this decision, and are you willing to work on it? Don’t get caught up with how important a choice is, but — better yet — what a positive impact this has on your life.
  5. Don’t forget to use your “intuition” for your choice instead of your head.

I believe we all have a purpose and path that is affected by the free will choices we make. If we make choices by paying attention to our inner guidance, how God is speaking to us and what we feel in our heart, our path will be forever changed if we just flip the switch and choose.

Learn to love you… You will make so many choices differently when you love and respect yourself. Courtney Seard,
Consultant and Coach

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

Laura

 

 

Competition, Thief of Joy

Life for us has become an endless succession of contests. From the moment the alarm clock rings until sleep overtakes us again, from the time we are toddlers until the day we die, we are busy struggling to outdo others. This is our posture at work and at school, on the playing field and back at home. It is the common denominator of American life. Alfie Kohn

The title of this blog almost sounds like a misnomer because the majority of the human race thinks of competition as sports, games, fun, winning a medal or a trophy and as being a winner.  How can competition rob us of the enjoyment and pleasure we feel when it appears to bestow us with a high of being number one.

But, I ask that you think back throughout your life whenever you were involved in anything competitive, how did you feel when someone else won?

I’ve reflected on competition for a long time especially when the biggest and most well-known competition, the Olympics began.  I don’t watch the games but I realized that there are only a handful of “winners” and there are hundreds of people who no one hears about, people who didn’t place or win who worked just as hard as the few on top. People are mesmerized for two weeks with the glamour of the entertainment and energy of the games, but once they’re over, it’s all forgotten as we get on with our lives.  Interestingly, all of the people participating spend most of their lives focused on training and preparing to win and for that one big moment, then it’s over.  The winners stand on the podium and are handed a medal and the world applauds.  There is monetary gain for only a small percentage of the athletes who are given an opportunity for endorsements, the rest are forgotten and go back to their lives. Do we ever hear about or know how those who didn’t win feel or how their life went afterward?

Through my research,  I’ve learned that cooperation not competition is our natural state of being.  We aren’t born hostile with the intention of bringing someone else down, that behavior is handed down from one generation to the next. We unnaturally push ourselves to best someone because we’re taught that being a winner is the best.  But, in truth, competition is filled with selfishness while we hope for the downfall of others, it is filled with anxiety, stress and pressure. Once we start down the road of winning, once is never enough, it almost becomes necessary for our confidence and self-esteem, putting us in a constant state competitive power.

Emerging research shows that competition is deleterious in many ways.

  • With children, competition serves to dissolve self-confidence and spread self-doubt, even among frequent winners who learn to become dependent on external sources of validation.
  • Among adults, competition leads directly to hostility and greed, both of which are the enemies of progress.

If we want to advance our society and ourselves, we must learn that competition is not the path to victory — cooperation is. Tiffany Rowe

I’m  not competitive by nature, when playing games, I enjoy the process more than who wins or loses.  Putting that in context, for me the journey in any competition is more rife with tools to learn, skill building and enjoyment.

There are many tribal societies that thrive on cooperative living and have endured for centuries.  Competition as a whole encourages greed, betrayal, to be better than others, the importance of being a winner, the lack of compassion, cooperation and most of all an absence of kindness. Competition is toxic in relationships, in business, education, in all of life. There is no benefit when someone feels inferior, lacks self-confidence, is depressed or believes they aren’t good enough. I believe it is time to instill cooperation and encourage each other to be the best person we can be.

The  result of competition is radical climate change, biological and nuclear warfare, rampant habitat destruction, water shortages, and extremes in global wealth and poverty. Louise Palmer

Cooperation is beneficial not to a few but to everyone, here are some of the advantages:

  1. Cooperative Play – A bond is formed when challenge, discovery and success is shared by everyone.
  2.  Cooperative Learning and Work –  When we compete whether at work or in school, we are invested in ourselves and what will benefit us without giving thought to anyone else, we consider everyone our rival.  But, when we cooperate, we support and help each other, giving each individual value and respect. Rather than striving to be number one, the intention is that everyone succeed, it shifts us away from greed, selfishness, aggression, anger and hurt feelings. Cooperation creates an environment of unity, openness, honesty and trust.
  3. Cooperative Activities for our Well-Being  – Competition causes enormous stress, anxiety, hostility, embarrassment and tension, can you imagine the state of our health? Cooperative activities create an atmosphere of play, relaxation and enjoying ourselves without judgment, the foundation for healthy and playful fun.

I’d like to conclude with this very powerful quote:

We destroy the love of learning in children, which is so strong when they are small, by encouraging and compelling them to work for petty and contemptible rewards–gold stars, or papers marked 100 and tacked to the wall, or A’s on report cards, or honor rolls, or dean’s lists, or Phi Beta Kappa keys–in short, for the ignoble satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else.  John Holt

Thank you, I appreciate your time.

Laura

Inner Peace = World Peace

“World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.” Dalai Lama

I’ve learned to achieve inner peace even when there is chaos around me simply by just being and not allowing outside problems affect my peace of mind.  This is a state of harmony everyone can achieve with practice.

Inner peace is something most of us want but don’t have or know how to achieve. I believe that when we’re inundated with the stresses of the world, work, daily life demands, kids and tight schedules, it is difficult to imagine how we can ever be at peace. Not being in a state of peace is a learned behavior, we are very capable of unlearning something at any time, especially when we truly desire change. When we make inner peace a priority instead of what is going on around us, it will change the way we see everything, our family, job, relationships, our health and state of mind and the world.

“Peace is not something you wish for, it is something you make, something you are, something you do, and something you give away.”  ― Robert Fulghum

It Starts with You

It is my belief and experience that global peace begins inside of each and every one of us.  Of course we all have busy lives; it is easy to get caught up in the routine we follow every day. Not that daily life routines aren’t important, even venerable, but the approach we take and the way we handle what takes place each day makes a huge difference. There is a distinction between approaching things unconsciously with little attention paid and doing things with intention of purpose peacefully.  The basis of inner peace is simply people willing to take responsibility for their own peace and peacefulness.

Inner peace isn’t about changing what is going on outside of you, it is about changing what’s going on inside you by managing how you are, which in turn affects others in your family, your neighborhood, your community and eventually the world.

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” – Pema Chodron

Peace Mind-Map

Inner Peace – Simply

Start with something as simple and natural as changing the way you wake up in the morning. Most people start their morning by preparing for a hectic schedule and going through a preview of the day before they even rise from bed then the turmoil begins, because that is the way things have always been done. Inner peace calls for you to stop that process and recreate it by consciously waking; as you rise in the morning, start by simply saying thank you just for being alive, then take a few long, slow deep breaths, smile and start your day as if you mean it.  Stop the daily preview chatter by slowing your mind and reminding yourself to be calm; that you are in charge not the commotion or order of the day.  I am not suggesting passivity by being indifferent and unresponsive,  but by being calm or at peace exudes tranquility and thoughtfulness.

Be truly grateful. We have a tendency to take what we are fortunate to have for granted. Start each day with appreciation for what seems ordinary: running water, electricity, the stove, clean dishes, your children, spouse, your family, your pets; you get the idea. When we begin to give thanks for what we already have no matter how simple, it brings a feeling of appreciation. Thankfulness and awareness for the good things in our lives is a good start to experiencing internal peace.

Additional Ways to Inner Peace (  )

  1. Set limits.
  2. Find a relaxation technique that work for you.
  3. Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.
  4. Slow down.
  5. Unclutter your world, unclutter your mind.
  6. Use a minimalistic workspace.
  7. Be 10 minutes early.
  8. Breathe
  9. Remember the 5 little words that’ll help you to stay sane: “one thing at a time. “

” If there’s no inner peace, people can’t give it to you. The husband can’t give it to you. Your children can’t give it to you. You have to give it to you.”  Linda Evans

Peace Improves Your Health

Achieving inner peace is the gateway to improved health.  Instead of allowing what is taking place in your life to be the master, why not make how you feel and the way you want your life to be a priority. That will put the control of you in your hands instead of the outside world.  True inner peace is the best medicine for your overall state of wellness. Did you know that when you remain upset about something that happened in the past and when you repeat the story that your body returns to a state of distress, as if it is in the actual situation again? That form of stress is dangerous to your health and the beginning point for disease.

Health Benefits of Inner Peace

  •  It lowers oxygen consumption.
  • It decreases respiratory rate.
  • It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
  • Increases exercise tolerance.
  • Leads to a deeper level of physical relaxation.
  • Good for people with high blood pressure.
  • Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
  • Decreases muscle tension
  • Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis etc.
  • Reduces Pre-menstrual Syndrome symptoms.
  • Helps in post-operative healing.
  • Enhances the immune system.
  • Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
  • Enhances energy, strength and vigor.
  • Helps with weight loss
  • Reduction of free radicals, less tissue damage
  • Higher skin resistance
  • Drop in cholesterol levels, lowers risk of cardiovascular disease.
  • Improved flow of air to the lungs resulting in easier breathing.
  • Decreases the aging process.
  • Prevents, slows or controls pain of chronic diseases
  • Makes you sweat less
  • Cures headaches & migraines
  • Greater Orderliness of Brain Functioning
  • Reduced Need for Medical Care
  • Less energy wasted
  • More inclined to sports, activities
  • Significant relief from asthma
  • Improved performance in athletic events
  • Normalizes to your ideal weight
  • Harmonizes our endocrine system
  • Relaxes our nervous system
  • Produces lasting beneficial changes in brain electrical activity
  • Cure infertility (the stresses of infertility can interfere with the release of hormones that regulate ovulation). (Courtesy of peacerevolution.net)

Inner peace is our natural state of being

When we respond to what is going on in front of us instead of reacting or acting irrationally no matter what it is, is when we will know that we are capable of inner peace. Worry and anxiety never ever changes anything, in fact it stops you from making sound choices and experiencing clarity.  Inner peace helps you to develop courage, strength, resilience and an understanding that life is cyclical. Even though you’re going through a bundle of emotions, you will better be able to handle something difficult when you’re in a state of peace. Seek ways to calm yourself and improve your self-talk to help you stay on the path.  When you’re in a state of peace, self-care will be at the top of your list instead of the bottom.

Keys to Inner Peace

Assistant professor at the University of Texas-MD Anderson Cancer Center and at the UT Medical School, Alejandro Chaoul, teaches courses in their Integrative Medicine program. His work on mind-body practice as an integrative cancer care include Tibetan yoga and meditation. In this video he shares how he has helped many reach a new level of inner peace and health.

“Keys To Inner Peace”

I sincerely appreciate your time, thank you for reading my post.

Laura

How Experiencing the Power of Being Guided by the Universe Can Change Your Life

 

I’ve struggled for years trying to figure out how to go with the flow of the Universe. I tried mantras, positive affirmations, all of the tips and tricks that I read about, nothing seemed to work. I finally realized that it isn’t anything outside of us that we do, but what comes from our hearts that makes the difference.  Even if all of the people, situations or events seem to be going against us, they are really for us to benefit from.

I began listening, really listening to my inner voice, taking guided action and stopping right there.  I didn’t force anything, I didn’t try to make something happen or tell myself it was all a mistake and I was doomed, I allowed whatever was supposed to happen come about on its own. It isn’t easy at all, but when we are living spiritually in the true sense, it isn’t supposed to be.  So, I improved myself by not allowing my thinking brain to try to coerce the situation in my time and the way I thought it should go. Instead, I allowed my intuition to take the lead.

If everything in our lives happens for a reason (a cliché, I know) then we are being guided to learn from each situation powerful lessons that help us become who we are meant to be.  If things become unbearable as it did for me, then the Universe is putting us on a fast track for big change and big lessons. Every idea that just popped up, I followed, I knew they were coming from a higher source.

Working with the Universe is learning to stop forcing situations to be anything other than what they are.  Then listening to what your inner voice tells you, not your thoughts but your gut instinct, it knows just what you should do next. Then we have to accept the things that take place from it, no matter how you imagine a situation going, just go with the flow.  It is a matter of being open, patient, trusting and having faith that it will all work out.

The Universe, in all of its wisdom and understanding, will take care of you in the best way possible.  I know that because I am on the other side of a situation that was put there for me to experience the beauty of having your back against a wall and the Universe coming to the rescue.

I have no idea how my life is going to unfold, but I know now that I am right where I am supposed to be and the Universe has my back.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

 

 

Letting your little light shine, shine, shine

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. Marianne Williamson

Do you play small or do you let your light shine for all the world to see?  While it’s easier to play small, from my experience, letting your light shine is leading the way for others to let theirs shine too. Remember those of us who’ve learned to rely on our inner wisdom are role models to help break the patterns of relying on old ways and our logical minds.  This is especially important for today’s world because we can take an active role in transforming into light humanity’s mis-creations.

“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” – Maya Angelou

Our inner light, depending on where we are spiritually, is either the size of a candle flame or a beacon of light.  A way to expand it is to invest ourselves in mindfully choosing to stop complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves and finding ways to light the way for others.

Using our inner light is a vital part of fulfilling our purpose. Remember that some days will be harder than others, but as we choose to work from the inside out when we come to an obstacle, we will do whatever is necessary to find ways to move forward.

When we are focused on shining our light, keep in mind that no endeavor is too small. An effortless and basic practice that I’ve used for years is to offer a sincere, silent intention that only love and kindness enter a space or someone’s life, a simple way to bring love into the world.

Other ways that we can connect with our inner light:

  • be of service to others
  • acts of kindness
  • being joyful
  • living more purposefully
  • being a loving presence
  • and/or sharing our gifts

I’d been letting my light shine for years, but it was limited to what I allowed my time to be invested in.  Once I stopped doing what was expected by others and doing what I knew was right for me,  I became more aware of being a part of the change in a bigger way. No matter how I choose to shine my light, I know it is radiating out into the world as a part of global change. Just imagine how someone who needs that light feels?

To make this transformation, start small, be gentle with yourself, remember there are no rules, and that this is a very personal journey of taking conscious, deliberate steps toward allowing your light to shine to bring positive change into your life and the lives of others.

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

A New Beginning for Me, Returning Home – Part 2 Unanticipated Bravery

 

I arrived safely at my first destination in Wyoming.  The trip was a three and a half day adventure I will never forget. I hope that my determination to be happy and live life my way can inspire you to be brave.

There is nothing more liberating for the soul than to allow yourself to be braver than you’ve ever been in your life.  I’d been living in an unimaginably difficult situation  I realized I couldn’t change, so I finally opened up and shared my circumstances and my sister and brother-in-law who threw me a life line to help me.  A life lesson from this experience is no matter how awakened we are, we cannot always handle difficult situations on our own. In fact, the help I got to leave was the best decision for both myself and the other person involved, I knew it was the right and only thing to do.

I realized I had to do whatever it took, no matter how scared I was not only for myself but for the people I love.  It takes courage and belief in the impossible to look past a situation we are in to do what is necessary for ourselves.  Being brave in my way of seeing things means we have to love ourselves enough to know we are worthy of the best life we can have, no matter what we are faced with.

Being brave is letting go of fear of the unknown, because everything we need will be there for us, it was for me. I’d considered ways out of my situation many times, but I held off on the obvious solution because I was sure I could never do it, but I did it and while there were unexpected challenges along the way, I kept going knowing that I was on my way to a better life.

I  believe that everything happens for a reason.  When I was helped by the kindness of my family, I knew I wanted to extend kindness any way I could to pay it forward. When you’re life doesn’t feel right or good,  love yourself enough to be braver than you’ve ever been and do what you know is right. My advice to anyone contemplating a major life change is to ignore what everyone else thinks or says and do what feels right in your heart, life is too short not to and so much better when you follow the wisdom of your heart.

Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your time.

 

Find Your Voice, How to Consciously Speak Up for Yourself

Speaking up for ourselves, mindfully is being assertive without being aggressive.  It is a way to let others know how we feel by expressing ourselves with dignity, confidence and self-respect. It isn’t about being right or wrong, it is about intentionally speaking the truth authentically and sincerely without justifying ourselves.

It’s taken years for me to allow myself to be heard. I’ve spent most of my adult life smiling and remaining silent, the words seemed to be stuck in my throat. It is an injustice to our soul to remain silent. When we don’t speak up, we give our power away and it leads others to believe that we accept how things are and being taken advantage of.

We are so afraid of what others will think or that we’ll end up being alone, we tolerate the unacceptable. I’d never been taught how to speak my mind without fear or thoughtfully. My education came from life bringing people and situations that helped me to overcome those hurdles.

How to Purposefully Speak Up for Yourself

Be Open and Honest

Teach people how to treat you by being transparent when you communicate instead of agreeing or smiling just to keep the peace. It takes practice, but when you speak honestly without being complacent, intimidating and defensive people will be more open to hearing what you have to say. When you do speak be consistent and firm, it will shift every situation.

Be Truthful, Calmly

Speak with confidence, be assertive without aggression.  If a bill is incorrect, don’t let it go, call and dispute it.  If someone is aggressive with you, instead of reacting, respond calmly and thoughtfully by telling them how you feel. No one knows what you’re feeling until you speak up.

Don’t Be Afraid to Disagree

What others do or say has nothing to do with you. There are always people who thrive on trying to control others, intimidating or set in attack mode without taking others into consideration. Don’t cater to them by reacting with anger, shouting or intimidation. Speak up, take a breath, calmly express your perspective. Be sure to clarify what you’re saying and either listen to their response or end the conversation.

Practice Makes You Better

When anyone criticizes or pressures you to do something that isn’t in line with who you are or they’re negligent of your feelings, say something.  This may also mean ending relationships with people who don’t value you or your circumstances. Practice asking for what you need as often as you can.  Your life will only be better each time you enforce the new habit of consciously speaking your mind.

Your Time is Always Yours

Most of us have a hard time saying no to giving our time away.  I know I did for years, I would say yes when I wanted to say no because I wanted everyone to be happy. Don’t let obligations or your kindness get in the way of how you spend the hours in your day, you are the only one who is in control of your time. Break away from people or situations that absorb your precious time.

No One is Responsible for How you Feel or Act but You

No one can invalidate your opinions, you are in complete control of what you believe, how you feel, what you think and how you act. Remember that when you try to negate others point of view, they’re perception is as valid as yours.

I hope this is useful for you. I appreciate your time, thank you for reading my post.