Speaking up for ourselves, mindfully is being assertive without being aggressive. It is a way to let others know how we feel by expressing ourselves with dignity, confidence and self-respect. It isn’t about being right or wrong, it is about intentionally speaking the truth authentically and sincerely without justifying ourselves.
It’s taken years for me to allow myself to be heard. I’ve spent most of my adult life smiling and remaining silent, the words seemed to be stuck in my throat. It is an injustice to our soul to remain silent. When we don’t speak up, we give our power away and it leads others to believe that we accept how things are and being taken advantage of.
We are so afraid of what others will think or that we’ll end up being alone, we tolerate the unacceptable. I’d never been taught how to speak my mind without fear or thoughtfully. My education came from life bringing people and situations that helped me to overcome those hurdles.
How to Purposefully Speak Up for Yourself
Be Open and Honest
Teach people how to treat you by being transparent when you communicate instead of agreeing or smiling just to keep the peace. It takes practice, but when you speak honestly without being complacent, intimidating and defensive people will be more open to hearing what you have to say. When you do speak be consistent and firm, it will shift every situation.
Be Truthful, Calmly
Speak with confidence, be assertive without aggression. If a bill is incorrect, don’t let it go, call and dispute it. If someone is aggressive with you, instead of reacting, respond calmly and thoughtfully by telling them how you feel. No one knows what you’re feeling until you speak up.
Don’t Be Afraid to Disagree
What others do or say has nothing to do with you. There are always people who thrive on trying to control others, intimidating or set in attack mode without taking others into consideration. Don’t cater to them by reacting with anger, shouting or intimidation. Speak up, take a breath, calmly express your perspective. Be sure to clarify what you’re saying and either listen to their response or end the conversation.
Practice Makes You Better
When anyone criticizes or pressures you to do something that isn’t in line with who you are or they’re negligent of your feelings, say something. This may also mean ending relationships with people who don’t value you or your circumstances. Practice asking for what you need as often as you can. Your life will only be better each time you enforce the new habit of consciously speaking your mind.
Your Time is Always Yours
Most of us have a hard time saying no to giving our time away. I know I did for years, I would say yes when I wanted to say no because I wanted everyone to be happy. Don’t let obligations or your kindness get in the way of how you spend the hours in your day, you are the only one who is in control of your time. Break away from people or situations that absorb your precious time.
No One is Responsible for How you Feel or Act but You
No one can invalidate your opinions, you are in complete control of what you believe, how you feel, what you think and how you act. Remember that when you try to negate others point of view, they’re perception is as valid as yours.
I hope this is useful for you. I appreciate your time, thank you for reading my post.