…Withered from the pelting rain, it rises again to greet the sun. I found an old picture of big beautiful blossoms, spun a few effects to create this very soft, subtle digital art piece. And a Rictameter verse to accentuate the flow of poetry.
Just like flowers, we too can be so strong and so weak altogether.
I am a delicate flower, but so strong.
But yet so weak,
She gave love, even in
the moments when she was falling
apart. Like a delicate white flower
withstanding a rain storm, and how
it rises to the sun
for warmth, she stands so strong.
It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it is that whisper to yourself that has the most power. Robert T. Kiyosuki
Where does negative self-talk comes from?
Negative self talk slowly works its way into our mind from the people around us, too much attention on the media and the negativity in the world around us. The more we hear it, the more we think it. Negative thoughts are constantly swirling around in mind, they never stop. We create those gloomy thoughts, we can replace them with more practical and optimistic thoughts, if we just stop, listen and shift. Our mental and emotional health can only improve if we take the time to pay attention to what we say to ourselves.
If we tell ourselves we are fat and will always be overweight, we do everything to ensure that happens. If we tell ourselves we have a hard life with no way out, then we create that life. If we tell ourselves we are unlovable, not worthy of happiness, stupid or clumsy, not only are we what we think, but everyone around us will see only what we project ourselves to be.
8 Ways to Turn Down the Volume on Negative-Self-Talk
Once you begin to retrain your brain, you will catch yourself and use one of the many ways you learn to replace it. Here are a few I’ve found successful:
Instead of focusing on what you don’t like about yourself, find things that you do like, say you have pretty eyes or nice hands, you get the picture.
When you catch yourself criticizing something you’ve done or said, ask yourself this, “Would I say this to my friends or family and is it really true?”
Take stock of the people in your life who are negative, can you create a boundary to limit your time with them or are you better off finding new people to surround yourself with?
We all have the habit of calling ourselves names or lashing out at ourselves when we make a mistake. Try thinking, I always do the best I can or I have good abilities and I know I will do better next time.
Meditation is a way of calming yourself and helping to take your mind to a state of pure relaxation. It helps to give your brain a rest which helps you to pay more attention to what you say to yourself.
Celebrate your progress, no matter how small the achievement is instead of finding fault with yourself.
Stop that harsh inner critic when you assume the worst, start assuming the best outcome and let it go.
Stop allowing what others think about the way you are, look, dress or act define you. Instead empower yourself by caring more about what you think of yourself and the way you are.
Set-backs and failures are a part of life, everyone experiences them even the most successful people have stories to tell. The key is to turn our inner critic into our inner friend so we can enjoy our life and thrive.
When clouds darken, the winds grow strong and the air becomes heavy, we know a storm is on its way, that is cause and effect, not destiny.
Our lives are like that storm because our actions, thoughts and words are the cause and effect in events, relationships and our place in the world. The law of cause and effect states that every material effect must have an adequate cause that existed before the effect, the effect is never greater than the cause. The river isn’t muddy because a frog jumped in or a book doesn’t fall from the table because a fly landed on it. (apologeticspress.org)
What you resist and how you handle it determines your karma:
I recently experienced a life promotion that I didn’t expect, but it was very welcomed. Have you ever heard that statement, “what you resist, persists”? Well, that goes hand in hand with karma, I know I’ve lived it. I would like to share how we can grow into a better person by being a teacher and student of life.
Three years ago I met a woman who I was fascinated with. She was an enigmatic speaker and seemed to be a person I should get to know. I eventually got involved with her nonprofit organization as a business assistant. We did some good things together we helped people by making a difference in their lives. The working relationship was intermixed with our personal lives, making it complex and an unusual association for me, I had always kept the two separate. Eventually our relationship deteriorated making it inevitable that we should no longer remain connected in any way. One issue remained, I am renting one of the properties owned by she and her husband so the challenges continued for us both. While I know everything happens for a reason, that didn’t lessen the stress and anxiety between us.
I tried my best to keep things calm and simple, I had limited success because myintentions were not aligned with how I really felt about her so we continued to have difficulty communicating. Then things got worse when I wasn’t able to find a new roommate right away and couldn’t meet the full rent for one month. This time I knew I had to handle things differently, I had to be mindful of my words and change the energy behind them. This time I chose to consider the benefit of my actions for both of us. It worked, it kept communication civil and respectful between us.
Then in the beginning of February, out of the blue the woman’s husband came to the house and told me he and his brother would oversee the property, but that his wife would still collect the rent. That was confirmation for me that things were shifting. Then at the end of the month he came back and told me that he and his brother were taking full responsibility for the property saying that he and his wife were divorcing. I wasn’t surprised because I was witness to the disconnect in their relationship when I was involved with her business. I am grateful for her teachings and for my graduation to another phase of my life.
This story is one of many of my life experiences, however this time I was conscious of what was going on and knew that it is always up to me to change my approach and way of thinking to create an agreeable solution, this is the stuff that a better world is made of.
When we struggle with our life challenges, it always helps to remember how you and those in your life will be affected by what you say or do. Deepak Chopra is my go-to spiritual teacher to help me develop sound life principles to create a better life for myself. He offers a few suggestions to help develop a keen sense of how to best create self-awareness and our part in the outcome of our lives.
From the Chopra Center:
Putting the Law of Karma into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps:
Today I will witness the choices I make in each moment. And in the mere witnessing of these choices, I will bring them to my conscious awareness. I will know that the best way to prepare for any moment in the future is to be fully conscious in the present.
Whenever I make a choice, I will ask myself two questions: “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” and “Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and also to those who are affected by this choice?”
I will then ask my heart for guidance and be guided by its message of comfort or discomfort. If the choice feels comfortable, I will plunge ahead with abandon. If the choice feels uncomfortable, I will pause and see the consequences of my action with my inner vision. This guidance will enable me to make spontaneously correct choices for myself and for all those around me.
“If you become consciously aware that your future is generated based on your choices, then you are making full use of The Law of Karma (Cause & Effect). The more you bring your choices into the level of your conscious awareness, the more you will make those choices which are spontaneously correct–both for you and those around you.”Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
This week I made a batch of bagels, my second go at making homemade. I wish I had asked the angels to intervene in my attempt because I really needed their help. Everything was going well, they were beautiful, almost perfect in shape and size before I popped them in the oven. The oven we have is a bit off so when I checked after 10 minutes, they were beginning to firm up, but the bagels were still pale. I turned the oven up, but when I checked on them the bagels were still light in color. Then I got the idea to turn on the broiler, just for a couple of minutes. Well, that was one minute too long, when the timer went off, I ran into the kitchen to retrieve my beautiful bagels only to see dark smoke coming out of the oven.
I was so disappointed. I pulled open the door, the bagels were dark on top, the sesame seeds were ashes. So, I grabbed a nearby knife and began scraping. I managed to salvage all 10 of them, but oh how I wish I had called on my angels for perfect bagels. I know that next time, I will definitely ask them to help me produce golden, unburnt bagels.
I believe there are Angels all around us and they can be a vital part of our lives. For me, they are a significant part of my life and spiritual practices. They are my friends, life support, inner wisdom and gentle reminders to rely on love and compassion.
Did you know angels will never interfere in your life if they are not called upon? The only time they intervene without being asked for is when you’re in a life threatening situation before your time. This isn’t something I knew all those years ago, but I am forever grateful that they are always there watching and waiting to help.
My life wouldn’t be what it is without them. Many years ago, I was transformed when I experienced an amazing angel intervention.
A friend and I planned a Saturday fun night at her place, we were going to have dinner, then watch a movie with lots of conversation in-between. As usual, Saturday was busy for me, so I had to keep an eye on the time so I wouldn’t be late. The drive to her home was just what I needed, it was my time to enjoy the beauty around me and unwind. When I got there, the sun was just slipping beyond the horizon, its rays were glinting off the jagged edges of the mountain range just a few miles away, it was beautiful.
When she answered the door, her two dogs greeted me with their usual enthusiasm. We worked our way to the kitchen where I made myself comfortable while she finished making dinner. By the time we finished eating and cleaned up, it was well after 8. It had been a long day for both of us so we were ready to relax. We grabbed a soda, she put the movie in the VCR then we made ourselves comfortable. When the movie ended, as always we talked about it, then I happened to look over at the time and saw it was nearly 11 so I cut the conversation short to head for home.
I chose an easy, well-lit route where I knew the traffic would be light. The first leg of my drive was fairly uneventful. There was little traffic around me so it was easy to notice the rather new white pick-up truck driving next to me. there was soft music playing on the radio, I was relaxed.
As I scanned the road ahead, I saw a compact blue car accelerate from the driveway it was in out into traffic. In a state of disbelief at what was happening, my heart pounding, I couldn’t comprehend what was taking place. All of sudden my headlights were reflecting on the side of the blue car that had come to stop. One last attempt to avoid a collision I turned the steering wheel to veer the car into the next lane but the pick-up truck was there. I panicked, all I could think was I am going to die. I closed my eyes expecting a crash, it felt like the end. Then there was silence. what happened? I slowly opened my eyes not knowing what to expect. I was still in my car, the road was clear and my car was still moving forward. I couldn’t believe it, there was no crash. I was numb and confused, I couldn’t understand what had just happened. I began crying uncontrollably, I couldn’t catch my breath. I drove home and fell into my mother’s arms grateful to be alive. I realized that I had just experienced Divine intervention, I was forever changed.
Today, I intentionally live with angels around me with great comfort and peace. Angels are non-religious and present everywhere. The help they give isn’t always what we want and may even seem like they aren’t helping at all, but I’ve come to understand that they give us what we need, which is always better than what we want.
Angels are a beautiful divine presence there for us so we never feel alone, and always feel comforted and safe in their benevolent protection. When you connect with the Angels, they always speak with you. It is that tiny, faint whisper that lovingly guides you in the direction of love, compassion and kindness.
Thank you for stopping by. May you be surrounded by angels.
Our neighbor is in her early 20’s, she has a four-year old, a two-year old and she is pregnant. It never fails that at some point every day we could hear both she and her husband yelling at their children and then we would hear them crying.
I’ve met the girls they come into my yard to play with the dog and give me flowers. They are beautiful and sweet. I understand the challenges of being a young mom, I was one. But no matter how stressed we are, there’s no excuse to speak without thinking. Uncontrolled, thoughtless words are as painful as a slap and stay in the memory forever.
I’ve been there myself. When my son was a teen we got into a heated discussion, it ended with words that I couldn’t take back. Even though raising a teen alone can be tough and I apologized, I still remember the pain on his face after I’d thoughtlessly spewed words in anger. While we are close now, the memory of that incident lingers in my mind.
Food for thought: Please stop, take a breath and think before you speak no matter how you feel because once the words are out there you cannot take them back. Mindful and thoughtful communication is the gateway to compassion and more harmonious and loving relationships.
“It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will.” Buddhist Philosophy
I love being outdoors, the musical sounds of the birds, the warmth of the sun on my face, the beautiful blue sky, I could go on forever. When I was a girl, I loved being outdoors so much that even when the street lights came on my sisters, brother and I would beg our mom to let us stay out just a bit longer.
Can’t you just smell that rose?
Can’t you just feel the sand between your toes?
Scientific evidence shows time in nature:
Helps you to feel better
Helps you to pay more attention to the present
You’ll de-stress and slow down
Enhances your sense of belonging, happiness, resilience
Improves short-term memory
Increases sharper thinking
May improve vision in children
Boosts the immune system
Remember that being outdoors should be your time to enjoy the beauty of the world around you. Talking on your cell or texting cancels any of the benefits you’re mind and body would get. There has to be some time of quiet and being disconnected from all of the stress and anxiousness that life can bring so our mind and body can experience a state of complete relaxation.
There are additional benefits that are essential to a longer, healthier life. You’ll get some natural Vitamin D; natural light helps with a better night’s sleep, fresh air improves blood pressure, increased fresh oxygen increases your sense of well-being and the physical activity increases your endorphins. Even taking your shoes off and walking in the sand or the grass is beneficial because the bacteria in the soil boosts your serotonin levels.
Find a way to nurture your spirit by:
Going for a walk
Taking a bike ride
Getting a camera or using your cell phone camera to capture nature
Driving to a park and having a picnic
Sitting in your yard to relax
Joining a walking group
Eating your meals outside
Walking to a friend’s house
Getting a walking buddy
“Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.”— John Muir, Our National Parks
The results from a study published by Time Magazine in 2015 says loneliness kills. The study done by Brigham Young University has researchers alarmed, they are sending out a warning that loneliness is the next number one public health issue along with obesity and substance abuse. Feelings of loneliness increases the risk of death by a whopping 26%.
We can become a statistic or we can make an effort to change our perception of life and do something on our own behalf. In an article about loneliness for Psychology Today, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center Heidi Grant, Ph.D, said, “More than anything else, the cure for persistent loneliness lies in breaking the negative cycle of thinking that created it in the first place.”
“The process of becoming unstuck requires tremendous bravery, because basically we are completely changing our way of perceiving reality, like changing our DNA. We are undoing a pattern that is not just our pattern. It’s the human pattern.” Pema Chodron
There is a big difference between being lonely and being alone: (I enjoy my alone time, I didn’t always feel that way, but now I treasure it.)
Being lonely is isolation that comes with unmet expectations and feelings un-returned, being alone is a feeling of freedom and enjoying solitude.
Being lonely is feeling empty and the inability to do simple daily tasks. Being alone is embracing your time alone whether you’re driving to work or just reading a book, being alone is a chosen time.
When you’re lonely you constantly seek distractions to help you avoid it, when you’re alone you’re okay with doing nothing and not needing someone around.
Loneliness is being disconnected and living with self blame, being alone is using that time to find ways to create a connection whether spiritually or with people and rising from victim-hood by taking responsibility for your own happiness.
I have been through times of loneliness myself, it was difficult and painful; my family was worried about me. But I wasn’t because I knew I would do something to pull myself out of it by seeking solutions. I’ve used every one of the methods below very successfully. Because they’ve helped me, I am sure that even one of the suggestions can help you out of loneliness into feeling better and enjoying your life.
We cannot wait for the medical profession to acknowledge loneliness or create a pill for it. We have to do something about it ourselves, and we can. The first is to acknowledge it, then we have to rethink our way of life by helping ourselves to find ways to change our situation, consider the following ideas.
Live with a Roommate – This isn’t for everyone but there are positive aspects to living with someone even if they are a total stranger. I’ve been doing it for the past several years and while it takes effort, it is beneficial to live with someone. Be careful, selective and choose who you will share a place with from your heart, that is what has worked for me and it can for you.
Go on a solo date – Go to the movies, out to dinner, or to music concert, you don’t have to wait for anyone to decide what they want to eat and you get to go to any movie or concert you want without any conflicts. (Even though I have a good roommate, the fact that we have different interests doesn’t bother me.I’ve done this for years, I have fun, I love my own company and I don’t let what others think or how they see me as a single stop me from enjoying myself.)
Creatively Express Yourself – Whatever creative outlet you enjoy, do it. Don’t stop yourself because you can’t draw or sing, none of that matters. Find what you enjoy and just start doing it. (I ‘ve always found creativity soothing and a great way to feel better. Creatively expressing myself has helped me to de-stress and feel good in the most difficult situations.)
Attend Meetups – There are a variety of groups on just about any subject you can think of. They are fun, a great way to meet new people and a way to spark your imagination. (I’ve joined several meetup groups where I’ve made friends that are still in my life, I’ve learned, had fun and become a much better person for it.)
Mindful Meditation– A practice of calming the mind to achieve peace. Meditation induces a natural relaxation response which has been found to be instrumental in the treatment of conditions as wide-ranging as cardiac arrhythmias, asthma, allergies, herpes, diabetes, ulcers, hypertension, infertility, PMS, AIDS, and chronic pain. (I’ve meditated for years, there is nothing like it and I am able to reduce my stress significantly especially if I meditate during the experience.)
Volunteer– Helping others in service is a great way to extend yourself and to help those who are unable to help themselves. (I volunteered for years, I loved it, it is so rewarding and whatever you chose to do not only benefits those you help, but it always benefits you.)
Adopt a Pet – “Forget your troubles, come on get happy” is just what adopting a pet will do. Life is much happier and easier to get through with an animal companion. (I’ve had pets for years, I cannot imagine my life without them in it. They’ve become my best friend, a pair of ears that will listen to me unconditionally, a loving companion and a stress reliever.)
Get Happy – You are in charge of how you feel, no one can do that for you. While it may sound to “Pollyanna”, it isn’t. When you watch children they are happy just because, so we have to find a way to reach inside and find the child within us and allow ourselves to feel that kind of bliss, after all it is for our better health. (I am happy, I work at it and make sure I remember how blessed I am, gratitude daily is a great way to remind myself to see the bright side of my life.)
Look Through Photo Albums – This is a hidden gem. Whenever the holidays come, even though there are stories of the immense sadness and isolation, I choose to celebrate my way and part of that includes pulling out photo albums and going through them. I feel great just looking through them and better overall, it is well worth it, it makes what may be a difficult time easier to go through.
Read a Good Book – Books are a way to enjoy being somewhere else, or learning about people or places or how you can be a better person. There is a world of wonder in reading a good book, no matter which type you are passionate about. (My library is different than most, it includes many books by spiritual teachers that I admire. So this one method is a big help for me.)
Get a Camera – Seeing the world through a camera lens can range from silly to serious. You can take photos with your cell phone or get a DSLR camera with more options and you can use photo editing apps to enhance the images or create a work of art, photography is a great way to change the direction of your thoughts and lift your spirits. (I‘ve had a camera for as long as I can remember, it has been like a best friend. When I’ve gone through life challenges, it has been a healing mechanism that I am so thankful for and it is a form of creativity that anyone can do.)
You can be highly social and have lots of people around you and still be lonely. Loneliness from whatever you’re living through is not the end of the world, it is the end of that part of your life. Finally, for me, I never feel lonely anymore because I am spiritually connected, something I never made the effort to be before. While that might not be suitable for everyone, whatever way you choose, it is up to you to take action on your own behalf.
Let the loneliness you feel turn into compassion for other lonely people, and then decide to do something about it! Joyce Meyer
Growing older is portrayed as if it is an unavoidable disease. What do you believe about aging and why? Why do you believe that as you grow older you will become decrepit, diseased and feeble-minded? We’ve been wrongly taught to believe that when we grow older we deteriorate. We’ve come to expect dementia, disease and physical weakness in our elder years.
From Dr. Bruce Lipton: “There is shocking new science proving that DNA does not control our life span; humorists, who keep us laughing at ourselves; spiritual teachers who emphasize the rich harvest of wisdom that we inherit in the second half of life; and social commentators who point out the beautiful gifts of community that engaged elders can create. Alternately personal and global practices are on the forward edge of the revolution that is transforming elderhood.”
To reverse long-held beliefs and the effects they’ve had, we can start with these very simple practices:
purposeful and conscious living
correction of diet
removal of toxins from the body
deep breathing techniques
I was very blessed to have had a beautiful mother who always lived agelessly. I’ve naturally lived the same way. I do not factor my age into the choices I make; I’ve never seen a reason to include it in the way I live. My birthdays are a celebration of my life never about what age my body is. A testament to living this way, in part, is my vibrant life and state of well-being.
Our bodies are not mindless machines, there is undeniable evidence to the contrary. Death rates from cancer and heart disease are lower among people who have a strong sense of purpose and well-being. What we believe and how we see our body shapes our world, externally and internally. Our state of health is first created in our mind and then shows up in our body. Our physical strength and level of intelligence doesn’t have to diminish because of the number of years we’ve been alive.
I am currently reading and suggest Deepak Chopra’s book, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind. Itprovides a wealth of information to help us live differently. In it he talks about the new paradigm focus on quantum physics that began early in the 20th century and how by changing our way of believing of living in an older, not aging body we can have a more productive and better life.
From Dr. Christiane Northrup, practicing physician and author of, “Goddesses Never Age“:
7 steps for getting older without aging
1. Reframe the term ‘aging.’ In the PBS special, Northrup describes a study by Dr. Ellen Langer in which two groups of men in their 70s and 80s were taken to a monastery and split into two groups. One was told to live in the present while the other was placed in a setting that re-created the era of their youth, the 1950s, and told to behave as if they were young again. Within one week, the group living as if they were younger not only looked a decade younger but also had test results that showed measurable physical improvements to their eyesight, hearing, memory, and muscle mass.
2. Change your cultural programming. Northrup says milestone birthdays can be a millstone. She cites one study showing that simply having positive attitudes about growing older and looking forward to things can add 7.5 years to your life. Plan for future activities to keep yourself on a positive path.
3. Stop participating in aging. Northrup recommends celebrating the wisdom that comes with growing older and banishing terms such as “anti-aging” or “having a senior moment” from your vocabulary.
4. Enjoy a sweet life while keeping your blood sugar stable. Growing older with vitality requires physical health as well as mental health. While Northrup doesn’t focus solely on a specific diet, she stresses the importance of paying attention to your blood sugar.
5. Don’t take life sitting down. Besides diet, we all know that exercise is important to staying healthy while growing older. Northrup emphasizes the importance of functional fitness, which means things like getting up to move to music to avoid sitting too long, maximizing exercise with interval training, and doing some basic exercises to improve balance.
6. Develop centenarian consciousness. Northrup reviewed research by Dr. Mario Martinez on healthy 100-plus-year-olds around the world that reveals the importance of being future-oriented, savoring life, and engaging in pleasurable, sustainable rituals such as a standing date with a friend, listening to music you love, or pursuing a creative passion.
7. Develop a subculture of agelessness.Staying connected to a group of like-minded people, which Northrup calls “tribes,” and nurturing those relationships helps women—and men, who tend to have more difficulty maintaining close friendships—stay physically and mentally healthy. As she says, “community equals immunity.”
The way we see aging will be forever changed when we alter our beliefs and commit to living an ageless, vibrant and exciting life. Thank you for stopping by, Namaste
Assuming the best is first and foremost accepting the way things are. Then it’s about being prepared for a better outcome for our growth by altering our beliefs, changing our self-talk and shifting our perspective. I know it sounds like a lot especially with 24-hour news and negative media everywhere, but from my first-hand experience it really works.
Most of us believe that the worst is coming and manage to talk ourselves into defeat and disaster, so, don’t you think it’s time to shift gears, do the work and empower yourself to experience the good of the Universe? By believing that the worst is going to happen, our thoughts being a force of energy as is the Universe, it nearly guarantees that the outcome will be just what we expect. But, it doesn’t have to be that way, because we always have a choice. We cannot control or change external circumstances and no matter what we perceive they are happening to help us. So, the best reminder is we get to choose how we respond and treat whatever situation we’re dealing with differently.
I learned the hard way, I insisted on trying to manipulate and fight what I was experiencing; it never worked. When I finally got it, I knew it was up to me to stop setting myself up to suffer by expecting more from myself. I know it feels a lot better when I focus on an outcome that is for my benefit rather than feeling like I am trapped in a bad situation that just won’t go away.
When a difficulty arises the best way to change your approach is to let go of the way you’re seeing things and letting go of what you think should happen. The more we fight and resist what is happening the more it will hang around and repeat itself until we are ready for a happier existence. It isn’t just about imagining a positive or better outcome, it’s about re-patterning your brain’s way of seeing things. Once we apply this method and open ourselves up to experience a different outcome, our way of life will undergo a significant transformation.
Another way to help our brain expand and change is to learn something new every day, no matter how simple it may be. This one process helps to rewire our brain and change the way it operates. Change truly is mind over matter, we are in the pilot’s seat. It also helps to remember even when a situation goes differently than expected, we will improve and grow.
Changing our beliefs and habits takes effort and faith, even if it is the size of a grain of rice. Listen to Joe Dispenza in the video below explain how rewiring and evolving your brain will lead to a healthier and happier life.