Foolproof Ways to Improve Your Life

Let go and let life happen

The only magic a control wand has is disappointment and grief.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t just wave a magic wand and make something happen

Let go of what you can’t control. Channel all that energy into living fully in the now.” -Karen Salmansohn

How do we stay present? Most of our thoughts are about the past or the future, rather than the present moment. What we end up doing is passing through the moment by concentrating on what was or what may be and in doing so we miss the gift of now. That’s how life ends up passing us by – we do it to ourselves.

Part of being present is learning to go with the flow of life and releasing the need to control the results or outcome of a situation or challenge you are faced with.

Coming from someone who was a control queen which always includes needless suffering and usually ends negatively, trust me I know, I’ve done it to myself, a learning experience for sure.  I have since learned to listen to my gut and follow my instincts and even though I don’t always understand what I am going through and why, it always turns out for me in a way I could have never imagined. That is the beauty of letting go of control, because there are millions of possibilities that a situation could go in and letting go makes that possible, I know I’ve experienced the magic of the Universal flow.

 

Affirmations to Help You Learn to Let Go

I willingly surrender my attachment to what other people might think about me.”

“I let go of my attachment to the material things that surround me—I can take these or leave them; it is all the same.”

“I give up the negative emotions that have created a comfort zone for me—they no longer serve me.”

“I release the need to judge others’ thoughts and beliefs.”

Are you ready to let go of unnecessary stress, worry, and anxiety from your life, work and relationships?

Giving up control doesn’t sound easy, but it can be.  Rather than trying so hard to make something happen, take a leap of faith and follow your heart, there is true power in choosing this way of being, it works every time.

Control costs you:

  • Joy
  • Peace
  • Freedom
  • Energy
  • Creativity
  • Support
  • Ease
  • Connection
  • Love

Start by asking yourself a few important questions:

  1. Why am I afraid will happen if I let go of control?  How does my fear affect me and those around me?  (Be honest with yourself.)
  2. Am I willing to let go of control? (this may sound difficult, but we really don’t have control of anything but ourselves so this one is well worth your time to work on.)
  3. Look for support.  (Find someone who already knows how to let go of control who is willing to help you learn to go with the flow of life.)

Key actions to help you start on your own:

  • Surrender and feel the state of tranquility.  Be of the mind that you intend to take a leap of faith and allow life to flow from your intuition.

 

  • Be present, in other words stay in the moment.  When you can let of the past go and trying to forecast what the future holds for you, you will begin the process of going with the flow.  When you live in the moment, you will know that life is too precious to waste on worry or being fearful, neither of those  emotions does anything to help your situation.  The past is gone and over and the future isn’t here yet, so you really have no choice but to be in the now.  There is a great deal of power in being right where you are.

 

  • Take a laugh break every day. Find something to make you laugh until you can’t breathe every day.  Laughter is the best medicine isn’t just a quote, it truly is the best way to relax and feel better!

 

  • Go outside and take a walk, take a deep breath and enjoy nature, it feels good and you will feel better.  I guarantee it, I do it all of the time.  I have been through some pretty tough situations that have lightened when I’ve gone outside. It will help you to relax and find search your heart for a solution.  You will get ideas and answers to help you to deal with anything you are faced with.

When you ask yourself open-ended questions you ignite your conscious mind and create a new way to a solution.  I wish you all of the magic and miracles that life has to offer.

Examples:

Am I happy with____________________________?What do I think would happen if I chose____________________?Is there another way to ___________________?What else can I do_________________?Is there something specific that I am looking for?

 

 

Are you ready to take a leap of faith and trust in yourself and in life?

 

 

Burnt Out and Frustrated? Are You Ready to Feel your Way Through Life?

How do you leave a life of unconsciousness and feel your way through life?  You have to learn how to recognize that small voice in your heart which means that you have to quiet the constant chatter in your head. Feeling your way through your life takes an effort to stop reacting and digging deep inside to feel for the right answers.

I have lived from my heart for a while now, it is very different from what I thought living was.  One morning recently when I assisted the turtle in the picture below, it all made sense.

What started as an ordinary walk withSoftshell Tortoise Rescue the dog turned into a miracle morning. The dog was happily pulling me down the street when we came upon two bikes parked in the middle of the sidewalk.

A woman wearing a wide-brimmed sun hat was sitting on her bike waiting while her husband ran across the street with a large soft-shell turtle in his hands. He turned a full circle and put the turtle down, yelling that it kept trying to cross back and he wanted to confuse it hoping it would stay.

We chatted briefly, they pedaled around the corner and the dog and I resumed our walk.  But my heart told me to turn around, so I did and I saw that the turtle was walking back toward the four lane street; I knew its internal radar was guiding it toward a retention pond on the other side.

First, I tried to pick her up, but her 40-something dead weight body, flailing clawed feet and hissing made it clear that my help wasn’t wanted.  So, I decided to walk along side of her to shield her from oncoming traffic.

A gentleman also on his morning walk joined me. It took some time, but we were able to get her safely across the street. About ten minutes later she reached the grass, as soon as she felt it beneath her feet she raced, then slid into the retention pond. hooray!!

Every person on this planet has the same instincts as that soft-shelled turtle does, but we don’t listen or trust them. Most of us are so conditioned that we have no idea how to follow our feelings. We have been made to believe that the only way we can be happy—and maybe the only way we can survive is by just“going along,”, “giving in,” or by “accepting” life “as it is” even when we know in our hearts that we aren’t happy.

Jump off pointIf we followed our impulses and allowed life to flow, we would stop making a living and make a life.  Instead, we allow our fears and beliefs to stop us and we stay entrenched in a vicious cycle of living and working to pay bills.  Can you imagine being like that turtle without fear?  No matter what the dangers were, the drive to be in her natural environment outweighed the hazard of crossing the street.

When you know you’re ready to choose the way you live your life,  remember you’re the only one who knows how you feel and what is right in your heart for you.

I lived unaware for a long time before I woke up.  When I realized that I no longer wanted to be an employee number, a cubicle location or a paycheck, it was clear that I wanted to make a life because making a living to pay bills just didn’t feel good anymore.  I didn’t have any idea how or what I was going to do, but I knew that I wanted to be happy and feel authentic. I went through a myriad of work situations during the first four years of my transformation but that’s okay because creating an intentional life takes time and the ability to stay focused on opening your heart to a whole new way of living.

When or how do you spread your wings and soar?  How do you start following your feelings and create your life?  You can begin by asking yourself questions that will make you have to dig for an answer: (make a worksheet with these questions and your answers so you can keep it front of you when you feel the urge to fall back into your old way of living).

  • What about me? Who am I really?  What do I want?
  • What do I do that I love so much that I would do it for free?
  • If I choose the way I want to live my life, what does that look like?
  • How can I make my current job work for me until I figure out what I want to do?
  • How can I start changing who I am inside to help me see things differently?
  • If I were going to choose to live from my heart what steps should I take?
  • What am I afraid of?  How can I get past the fear?
  • Am I loving and respectful to myself?

Not sure how to distill the fear and worry of leaving your comfort zone?  Most people have a misleading fear that the money they’re used to earning won’t be there.  Yes, we have to eat and  bills to pay, but in order to make a big change, you have to change the way you think and your priorities so you come first rather than let your job and paycheck run your life. I’ve listed some ways that I used to help me change the direction of my life:

Resist your fear, fear will never lead you to a positive end. Go for your faith and what you believe.  TD Jakes

  • Find something about your current job that makes you feel good.  No matter how small, look for ways to increase positive feelings that you can expand on. The better you feel about yourself and your contributions, the more great ideas will flow to help you go in the direction of your dreams.  I made an effort at my last job to see the positive aspects of the work I was doing because it was important to allow my creativity, peace and happiness be a priority.
  •  Next, work on changing yourself from the inside out starting with the way you think, when you do the world around you will change. This will take effort on your part, but if you are ready, it won’t be difficult to find the resources to help you accomplish this.
  •  When you operate from your heart or your gut instincts and begin to take responsibility for your choices, things will shift for you.  All through the last job I had, I spent time reading books that helped me shift my beliefs. I watched videos focused on the subjects I was interested in learning more about; I also went to workshops once a week. During the classes I would discuss my ideas about doing what I loved and got great feedback that helped me become more creative.
  •  Changing the way I thought was the key to the way I moved away from being an employee to successfully following my heart. No matter what stage of life you’re in, everyone should be happy and doing something that they love and are passionate about. 

Always do what you are afraid to do. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Transforming the direction of your life takes determination, desire and courage.  Life is short; we don’t know when our time on earth will come to an end, so it is time to leave your comfort zone and take a chance. Take it from someone who is all about taking risks; it is well worth the gamble to take that first step. I can confidently say that I have never been happier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saying I love you to yourself can change your life….

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
- Louise L. Hay

Self loveSaying I love you to yourself for many people feels shameful and uncomfortable, even unthinkable.  Do you think you can you look at yourself in a mirror and say “I love you” without flinching? Most people ask, “Why would I love myself?” I ask, “Why wouldn’t you?”  From first-hand experience I can say without a doubt that loving yourself changes your life. It is a reflection of your authenticity and self-respect, it radiates from every part of you and returns to you multiplied.  It is an amazing way to live.

The first time I said I love to you my reflection, I looked down, but I kept saying it until it became a daily ritual and I could look directly into my eyes.  Now I not only say it each day with confidence and faith in my beauty, I know that I deserve my love from my head to the bottom of my feet, no matter what. And because of that change within me, the people that I now have in my life reflect how I feel about myself, they are just as loving and happy with themselves as I am.

For most of my life loving myself was never a consideration. In the era when I was born, no one ever told me it was important to love myself.  My parents were loving, but I grew up believing that I was faulty, too chubby, too quiet, unattractive, too shy, etc. Loving yourself was selfish and unheard of.  I don’t blame anyone, that was just the way things were.  As I came into this part of my life, I finally abandoned all of those old beliefs and began to live my life focused on the self-respect and confidence I deserve, which in turn draws love into every part of my life.

Self-love takes time and effort and the belief that you are worth it. For me, it all started several years ago when I became more aware of the people in my life and the way I felt about myself.  It won’t take long for you to figure out if you love yourself or not by the type of people that you have around you, the way that you feel and are treated.  It was interesting to me when the transformation began all of the people who were in my life that brought drama, anxiety and negativity fell away naturally or by me seeing that it was time to tell them goodbye.

Self-love starts with acceptance of the entirety of you.  Look at  your intelligence, facial features, body image, the color of your eyes, your hair, etc. with love and know that you are a special and unique representation of God.   Are you ready to concentrate on your happiness, health and well-being  by changing your perception of yourself and seeing the beauty of who you really are?  Start small and build on it until you are confident enough to look in that mirror and love who you see looking back at you.  You might think that this is a form of narcissism, but it isn’t.  Self-love is natural, it is how we were born into this world.  We have to return to what we were  born with, in fact it is imperative to a happy, healthy life of unconditional love.

We are encouraged to seek love from others, but we aren’t taught the importance of loving and valuing ourselves before we seek love from outside of ourselves.  How can we possibly love someone else if we don’t give any of that love to ourselves first?

To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now. Alan Cohen

Do We Take Life and Being Alive for Granted?

As I walked home from my daily Almost Impercitiblewalk this morning I saw a little girl so focused on her smart phone, that she never noticed the birds and the miracles of nature swirling around her,  Last week when I walked through a beautiful local park, a group of people passed by me. They were busily talking with each other and on their phones, they never looked up or around to see the beauty of their surroundings.

All too many of us have become desensitized to the small imperceptible miracles around us.  We take life and the gift of being alive for granted.  I have a smart phone,  but when I go for a walk, it stays home.  When I head out into nature it is tucked away.  I make a choice, it is up to me to decide how I treat each day. I choose to stop being so focused on a missed call or text to notice my surroundings and experiencing the joy of peace and quiet.

I have trained myself to pay attention, to the smallest of things,  I believe that we have today only. We may not have tomorrow, life is not guaranteed.  Speeding along through each day waiting for some future goal, paycheck, event or change to happen is missing the point of life.  We aren’t here for the outcome, we are here for the enchantment of the journey.

Female Cardinal

So, slow down, look around you, breathe in the fresh air. There is magic in the tiniest most imperceptible of places. The miracle of a bird flying by, a butterfly floating through the air, the flowers that grow where humans have thrown trash, the trees that continue to push through the ground and provide us with oxygen even though we’ve put in paved roads and sidewalks.  Mother earth continues to survive beyond the human invasion.

The very least we can do is put our technology down when we are in the midst of it all.  The most we can do is care enough about ourselves to notice and be conscious of the wonder of being alive.

Your Health = Your Life

the-body-is-your-templekeep-it-pure-and-clean-for-the-soul-to-reside-in-health-quote

The way you start your day is the way you live your day. The way you live your day is the way you live your life…Louise Hay

It has been nearly seven years since I’ve been to a doctor’s office. I have never felt better or been more in tune with my body. Through all of my life experiences I know this, when my health wasn’t at it’s best, neither was I. I couldn’t focus on anything but the problems I had.  The dreams I had weren’t even a glimmer in my mind because I had no room to dream when I was miserable and unhealthy.

I have learned that the key to living a life of purpose is a healthy mind, body and spirit.  If we aren’t in harmony with our self, our lives are dominated by unhappiness, pain, medication, doctor’s offices and illness.

I worked in a small medical clinic for nearly two years.  I witnessed first-hand the effects of people allowing themselves to be controlled by medical doctors and pharmacies.  I know I don’t want a doctor or a pharmacist to determine my health and how long I am going to live.  I want that decision to be mine.  When I saw people crying because they couldn’t get pills to control their blood pressure instead of taking responsibility for their health, I vowed that would never be me.

Because I am passionate about living the life of my dreams, I have created a lifestyle that works well for me.  I believe that one of our greatest teachers is losing our health.  We take it for granted until we don’t have it anymore.  I remember my late mother saying to me on more than one occasion, “I just want this to all go away so I can go home.”  Once we succumb to the belief that we don’t have control of what happens to our body, we face a life of  self-created problems and illness. I know many people whose lives are based on the medical problems that they have.  We must take responsibility for our life, not only our physical well-being, but our emotional and spiritual health.

When you begin to live your life mindfully, things will change dramatically.  As with any major change,  take it slow.  Begin by taking the time to figure out what does and doesn’t work for your body.  Don’t depend on anyone else’s choices or a diet, deciding on a lifestyle is going to require that you choose for yourself.  From the food that you eat to the type of physical activity and the way that you want your life to be. Whatever you choice you make, it only has to make sense to you. If you’re determined to live your life on purpose, love yourself.  Go on an inner journey, look at what you believe, what you think and how you feel.  It  takes time and at times it may feel like things aren’t moving fast enough, just remember creating a lifestyle that provides you with a healthy “temple” takes time.

This video talks about healthy choices to feed your brain and keep your energy levels high naturally.

Taking control of your overall health is taking control of your life. I can tell you from first-hand experience that the best feeling in the world comes from making a decision and sticking to it.  When you decide to put yourself first and live a life of purpose and passion, you will have taken a giant step forward for you.  To help you to stay focused on your intentions, I invite you to put some affirmations in key locations around your house.  Louise Hay is a master at affirmations and a woman I admire greatly,  She has never let age get in the way of her passion, she founded Hay House Publishing at the age of 64.

Louise Hay

Some great affirmations from Louise Hay

  • I make healthy choices.  I have respect for myself.
  • I enjoy the foods that are best for my body, I love every cell of my body.
  • I return my body to optimum health by giving it what it needs on every level.
  • I am pain-free and totally in sync with life.
  • I am the only person who has control over my eating habits. I can always resist something if I choose to.
  • Water is my favorite beverage.  I drink lots of water to cleanse my body and my mind.

I never tell anyone which lifestyle plan to choose, but I would like to suggest a few things:

  1. Shop from the outer “halo” of the store
  2. Choose natural items and read labels
  3. It is beneficial to go to your local health food and produce stores
  4. Choose organic whenever you’re able, if you can’t, choose whole and natural foods
  5. Attend workshops that help to guide you to a life focused on living from your heart
  6. Begin your spiritual journey, make it a very personal and may I suggest that until you’re comfortable speaking your truth with confidence, keep what you’re doing to yourself

As you gain confidence and an understanding of your responsibility for your overall health by listening to your heart,  you will know what your body wants and needs. Once you take control of this part of your life, you will better be able to focus on finding out what your purpose in life is.

Holiday Humor – Family Cooking Disasters

Merry Christmas!  I love to laugh and enjoy life  I thought I would share some of my family’s mishaps in the kitchen as my holiday gift.  Laughter is the best medicine, especially at natural disasters that don’t have any injuries or sad endings, except for the food’s demise.

Now, even though I eat very healthy, food is still an important part of my family’s life.  Some of the most humorous and memorable times for my family is when an unexpected cooking disaster happens.  The love of food has always offered a creative space where we try new things to make the food an experience instead of just a meal.

We have been cooking for years, so you would think that with our collective experience accidents are far and few between.  Well, not true the number of mishaps and cooking accidents we have had over the years have been innumerable.  Our tradition is to share our stories and laugh together.

Whenever something happens in the kitchen,  the first reaction is horror, which always melts into laughter.  Experience is not a guarantee that nothing will happen, it is usually a certainty that something will, simply because we believe we are more skilled and become a bit over confident that nothing will.

Never Multi-Task When Making Breakfast or the Mic will Catch on Fire

Microwave on Fire

It was the weekend, I used to always put more on my to do list then I could handle.  Whenever I made a meal on weekends, if there was a way to put something on to cook and go do something else then I would.

It was early morning and I wanted to get my laundry started, so I decided to get the bacon going and go start the washer.  I put the bacon on the browning rack, put it in the mic, turned it on and walked out of the kitchen.

I was busy with the wash when I detected a strong smoky smell.  I ran across the apartment to discover enormous flames shooting up in my microwave.  When I moved in front of it, I saw the flames were coming from the bacon rack.  I freaked out, started yelling, (I have no idea why) and began running around, not sure what to do.  Then, I remembered no water on a grease fire, so I grabbed the box of baking soda, popped the door open and tossed it on the flames. They died down then they burst up again.  Then I grabbed the salt and threw it on the now higher flames that were shooting out of the open door and brushing the bottom the kitchen cabinet.  Again they went down but didn’t go out.  So in a fit of desperation I grabbed a big glass filled it with water, stood back and threw it on the burning pan.  Thankfully this time flames finally died.

Relieved, I pulled out the blackened bacon and ashes still on the greasy, watery pan and tossed it in the sink.  Then there was the burned, salty, powdery, watery mess in my microwave and a smoke stains all over the bottom of my kitchen cabinet.  Comforted that the kitchen didn’t burn down, I stood there laughing, assuring myself  that I would never multi-task when making breakfast again.

I Couldn’t Stand Chocolate for Three Days

I love chocolate, I mean really love it  The idea of hating chocolate never entered my mind until  my mom and I decided to go into the candy making “business” for three very long days one Christmas back in the 80’s.

My mom and I decided to make homemade chocolate covered coconut candy for holiday gifts.  We were both eager to start our candy “factory”,  little did we know what we were letting ourselves in for.

First, I want to praise to all of the chocolatiers in the world who happily do this for a living.  My mom and I found a simple recipe for chocolate covered coconut candy.  We agreed it was a wonderful and unique gift to send to our family for the holidays.  Before we started we read the instructions which seemed pretty simple.

We donned our aprons, had our holiday spirit on and started our candy making adventure.   We took out all the ingredients all set for some holiday fun.  I put the coconut balls together while my mom prepared the chocolate.

The recipe said to, Melt the paraffin and add chocolate chips. Stir until blended. Place toothpick in balls and dip into chocolate. Let them drip a little. Place on wax paper until set.  An important part of this story is we lived in Phoenix, Arizona. Christmas is rarely cold there, so the kitchen was fairly warm (I believe we had the sliding glass door open).  Mom melted the paraffin and added the chocolate.

I took the coconut/nut mixture straight from the fridge, rolled it into balls then put it on toothpicks and started dipping.  The first few went fine.  What we didn’t realize was as the coconut balls that sat on the counter were starting to melt  in the heat.  Because we were going amateur speed, it didn’t take long for things to go wrong.  I can’t remember who it happened to first, but as we dipped the coconut balls into the hot chocolate mixture pieces of coconut started to fall off to into the melted chocolate, a piece here and there, so we stopped,  We began fishing out the coconut pieces out and put the tray back in the fridge.  As we started again, things got worse, not only did pieces of coconut fall off, the candy was now breaking off into the chocolate in chunks.   I could have cried, but we both laughed and finished what we could.

Knowing this was for Christmas gifts we hung in there for three days of this candy making mess.  When we closed the last tin, we vowed we were out of the candy making business forever.

My Mother’s Famous “Drop” Cake

droppedcakeMaking desserts was something my mother had done most of my life.  She used to clip recipes from magazines and newspapers so I cannot remember where she got this incredible custard filled lady fingers cake recipe (that we now affectionately call ‘Mom’s Drop Cake”) that she decided to make, but I remember the ingredients were expensive and there were a lot of steps.

Mom began by lining the spring form pan with a layer of lady fingers.  Then she made the wonderful custard filling to finish the cake.  She turned on the oven and set the temperature.  I hung out in the kitchen visiting with her watching as she put the ingredients together.  She carefully poured the mixture over the bottom of the pan, filling it nearly to the top of the lady fingers.  It looked heavenly, she gently put her hands around the spring form pan, slid it to the edge of the kitchen counter to put it into the oven.  She announced, “here we go” grabbed it and as she held it up, I watched in horror as the entire cake dropped out of the pan and spread all over the kitchen floor.  She stood there stunned, after the shock of what just happened subsided, I felt an uncontrollable urge to laugh.  She looked at me very seriously and said, “Don’t you dare laugh”, but it began to bubble up anyway so I bolted down the hall to the bathroom, shut the door and laughed until I cried.

As I got control of myself, I went back out to the kitchen which was an indescribable mess to find out that mom had forgotten to close the spring on the springform pan.  Still giggling I told mom I would clean up the mess, she told  me she was going to the store to buy all of the ingredients and would make it again when she got back.  The second recipe turned out fabulous.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Peace and Love