Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in your mind. It’s difficult to follow your heart, but it’s a tragedy to let the lies of fear stop you. Brene Brown
How do you leave a life of unconsciousness and feel your way through life? You have to learn how to recognize that small voice in your heart which means that you have to quiet the constant chatter in your head. Feeling your way through your life takes an effort to stop reacting and digging deep inside to feel for the right answers.
I have lived from my heart for a while now, it is very different from what I thought living was. One morning recently when I assisted the turtle in the picture below, it all made sense.
What started as an ordinary walk with the dog turned into a miracle morning. The dog was happily pulling me down the street when we came upon two bikes parked in the middle of the sidewalk.
A woman wearing a wide-brimmed sun hat was sitting on her bike waiting while her husband ran across the street with a large soft-shell turtle in his hands. He turned a full circle and put the turtle down, yelling that it kept trying to cross back and he wanted to confuse it hoping it would stay.
We chatted briefly, they pedaled around the corner and the dog and I resumed our walk. But my heart told me to turn around, so I did and I saw that the turtle was walking back toward the four lane street; I knew its internal radar was guiding it toward a retention pond on the other side.
First, I tried to pick her up, but her 40-something dead weight body, flailing clawed feet and hissing made it clear that my help wasn’t wanted. So, I decided to walk along side of her to shield her from oncoming traffic.
A gentleman also on his morning walk joined me. It took some time, but we were able to get her safely across the street. About ten minutes later she reached the grass, as soon as she felt it beneath her feet she raced, then slid into the retention pond. hooray!!
Every person on this planet has the same instincts as that soft-shelled turtle does, but we don’t listen or trust them. Most of us are so conditioned that we have no idea how to follow our feelings. We have been made to believe that the only way we can be happy—and maybe the only way we can survive is by just“going along,”, “giving in,” or by “accepting” life “as it is” even when we know in our hearts that we aren’t happy.
If we followed our impulses and allowed life to flow, we would stop making a living and make a life. Instead, we allow our fears and beliefs to stop us and we stay entrenched in a vicious cycle of living and working to pay bills. Can you imagine being like that turtle without fear? No matter what the dangers were, the drive to be in her natural environment outweighed the hazard of crossing the street.
When you know you’re ready to choose the way you live your life, remember you’re the only one who knows how you feel and what is right in your heart for you.
I lived unaware for a long time before I woke up. When I realized that I no longer wanted to be an employee number, a cubicle location or a paycheck, it was clear that I wanted to make a life because making a living to pay bills just didn’t feel good anymore. I didn’t have any idea how or what I was going to do, but I knew that I wanted to be happy and feel authentic. I went through a myriad of work situations during the first four years of my transformation but that’s okay because creating an intentional life takes time and the ability to stay focused on opening your heart to a whole new way of living.
When or how do you spread your wings and soar? How do you start following your feelings and create your life? You can begin by asking yourself questions that will make you have to dig for an answer: (make a worksheet with these questions and your answers so you can keep it front of you when you feel the urge to fall back into your old way of living).
Not sure how to distill the fear and worry of leaving your comfort zone? Most people have a misleading fear that the money they’re used to earning won’t be there. Yes, we have to eat and bills to pay, but in order to make a big change, you have to change the way you think and your priorities so you come first rather than let your job and paycheck run your life. I’ve listed some ways that I used to help me change the direction of my life:
Resist your fear, fear will never lead you to a positive end. Go for your faith and what you believe. TD Jakes
Always do what you are afraid to do. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Transforming the direction of your life takes determination, desire and courage. Life is short; we don’t know when our time on earth will come to an end, so it is time to leave your comfort zone and take a chance. Take it from someone who is all about taking risks; it is well worth the gamble to take that first step. I can confidently say that I have never been happier.
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. - Louise L. Hay
Saying I love you to yourself for many people feels shameful and uncomfortable, even unthinkable. Do you think you can you look at yourself in a mirror and say “I love you” without flinching? Most people ask, “Why would I love myself?” I ask, “Why wouldn’t you?” From first-hand experience I can say without a doubt that loving yourself changes your life. It is a reflection of your authenticity and self-respect, it radiates from every part of you and returns to you multiplied. It is an amazing way to live.
The first time I said I love to you my reflection, I looked down, but I kept saying it until it became a daily ritual and I could look directly into my eyes. Now I not only say it each day with confidence and faith in my beauty, I know that I deserve my love from my head to the bottom of my feet, no matter what. And because of that change within me, the people that I now have in my life reflect how I feel about myself, they are just as loving and happy with themselves as I am.
For most of my life loving myself was never a consideration. In the era when I was born, no one ever told me it was important to love myself. My parents were loving, but I grew up believing that I was faulty, too chubby, too quiet, unattractive, too shy, etc. Loving yourself was selfish and unheard of. I don’t blame anyone, that was just the way things were. As I came into this part of my life, I finally abandoned all of those old beliefs and began to live my life focused on the self-respect and confidence I deserve, which in turn draws love into every part of my life.
Self-love takes time and effort and the belief that you are worth it. For me, it all started several years ago when I became more aware of the people in my life and the way I felt about myself. It won’t take long for you to figure out if you love yourself or not by the type of people that you have around you, the way that you feel and are treated. It was interesting to me when the transformation began all of the people who were in my life that brought drama, anxiety and negativity fell away naturally or by me seeing that it was time to tell them goodbye.
Self-love starts with acceptance of the entirety of you. Look at your intelligence, facial features, body image, the color of your eyes, your hair, etc. with love and know that you are a special and unique representation of God. Are you ready to concentrate on your happiness, health and well-being by changing your perception of yourself and seeing the beauty of who you really are? Start small and build on it until you are confident enough to look in that mirror and love who you see looking back at you. You might think that this is a form of narcissism, but it isn’t. Self-love is natural, it is how we were born into this world. We have to return to what we were born with, in fact it is imperative to a happy, healthy life of unconditional love.
We are encouraged to seek love from others, but we aren’t taught the importance of loving and valuing ourselves before we seek love from outside of ourselves. How can we possibly love someone else if we don’t give any of that love to ourselves first?
As I walked home from my daily walk this morning I saw a little girl so focused on her smart phone, that she never noticed the birds and the miracles of nature swirling around her, Last week when I walked through a beautiful local park, a group of people passed by me. They were busily talking with each other and on their phones, they never looked up or around to see the beauty of their surroundings.
All too many of us have become desensitized to the small imperceptible miracles around us. We take life and the gift of being alive for granted. I have a smart phone, but when I go for a walk, it stays home. When I head out into nature it is tucked away. I make a choice, it is up to me to decide how I treat each day. I choose to stop being so focused on a missed call or text to notice my surroundings and experiencing the joy of peace and quiet.
I have trained myself to pay attention, to the smallest of things, I believe that we have today only. We may not have tomorrow, life is not guaranteed. Speeding along through each day waiting for some future goal, paycheck, event or change to happen is missing the point of life. We aren’t here for the outcome, we are here for the enchantment of the journey.
So, slow down, look around you, breathe in the fresh air. There is magic in the tiniest most imperceptible of places. The miracle of a bird flying by, a butterfly floating through the air, the flowers that grow where humans have thrown trash, the trees that continue to push through the ground and provide us with oxygen even though we’ve put in paved roads and sidewalks. Mother earth continues to survive beyond the human invasion.
The very least we can do is put our technology down when we are in the midst of it all. The most we can do is care enough about ourselves to notice and be conscious of the wonder of being alive.
The way you start your day is the way you live your day. The way you live your day is the way you live your life…Louise Hay
It has been nearly seven years since I’ve been to a doctor’s office. I have never felt better or been more in tune with my body. Through all of my life experiences I know this, when my health wasn’t at it’s best, neither was I. I couldn’t focus on anything but the problems I had. The dreams I had weren’t even a glimmer in my mind because I had no room to dream when I was miserable and unhealthy.
I have learned that the key to living a life of purpose is a healthy mind, body and spirit. If we aren’t in harmony with our self, our lives are dominated by unhappiness, pain, medication, doctor’s offices and illness.
I worked in a small medical clinic for nearly two years. I witnessed first-hand the effects of people allowing themselves to be controlled by medical doctors and pharmacies. I know I don’t want a doctor or a pharmacist to determine my health and how long I am going to live. I want that decision to be mine. When I saw people crying because they couldn’t get pills to control their blood pressure instead of taking responsibility for their health, I vowed that would never be me.
Because I am passionate about living the life of my dreams, I have created a lifestyle that works well for me. I believe that one of our greatest teachers is losing our health. We take it for granted until we don’t have it anymore. I remember my late mother saying to me on more than one occasion, “I just want this to all go away so I can go home.” Once we succumb to the belief that we don’t have control of what happens to our body, we face a life of self-created problems and illness. I know many people whose lives are based on the medical problems that they have. We must take responsibility for our life, not only our physical well-being, but our emotional and spiritual health.
When you begin to live your life mindfully, things will change dramatically. As with any major change, take it slow. Begin by taking the time to figure out what does and doesn’t work for your body. Don’t depend on anyone else’s choices or a diet, deciding on a lifestyle is going to require that you choose for yourself. From the food that you eat to the type of physical activity and the way that you want your life to be. Whatever you choice you make, it only has to make sense to you. If you’re determined to live your life on purpose, love yourself. Go on an inner journey, look at what you believe, what you think and how you feel. It takes time and at times it may feel like things aren’t moving fast enough, just remember creating a lifestyle that provides you with a healthy “temple” takes time.
This video talks about healthy choices to feed your brain and keep your energy levels high naturally.
Taking control of your overall health is taking control of your life. I can tell you from first-hand experience that the best feeling in the world comes from making a decision and sticking to it. When you decide to put yourself first and live a life of purpose and passion, you will have taken a giant step forward for you. To help you to stay focused on your intentions, I invite you to put some affirmations in key locations around your house. Louise Hay is a master at affirmations and a woman I admire greatly, She has never let age get in the way of her passion, she founded Hay House Publishing at the age of 64.
Some great affirmations from Louise Hay
I never tell anyone which lifestyle plan to choose, but I would like to suggest a few things:
As you gain confidence and an understanding of your responsibility for your overall health by listening to your heart, you will know what your body wants and needs. Once you take control of this part of your life, you will better be able to focus on finding out what your purpose in life is.
Merry Christmas! I love to laugh and enjoy life I thought I would share some of my family’s mishaps in the kitchen as my holiday gift. Laughter is the best medicine, especially at natural disasters that don’t have any injuries or sad endings, except for the food’s demise.
Now, even though I eat very healthy, food is still an important part of my family’s life. Some of the most humorous and memorable times for my family is when an unexpected cooking disaster happens. The love of food has always offered a creative space where we try new things to make the food an experience instead of just a meal.
We have been cooking for years, so you would think that with our collective experience accidents are far and few between. Well, not true the number of mishaps and cooking accidents we have had over the years have been innumerable. Our tradition is to share our stories and laugh together.
Whenever something happens in the kitchen, the first reaction is horror, which always melts into laughter. Experience is not a guarantee that nothing will happen, it is usually a certainty that something will, simply because we believe we are more skilled and become a bit over confident that nothing will.
It was the weekend, I used to always put more on my to do list then I could handle. Whenever I made a meal on weekends, if there was a way to put something on to cook and go do something else then I would.
It was early morning and I wanted to get my laundry started, so I decided to get the bacon going and go start the washer. I put the bacon on the browning rack, put it in the mic, turned it on and walked out of the kitchen.
I was busy with the wash when I detected a strong smoky smell. I ran across the apartment to discover enormous flames shooting up in my microwave. When I moved in front of it, I saw the flames were coming from the bacon rack. I freaked out, started yelling, (I have no idea why) and began running around, not sure what to do. Then, I remembered no water on a grease fire, so I grabbed the box of baking soda, popped the door open and tossed it on the flames. They died down then they burst up again. Then I grabbed the salt and threw it on the now higher flames that were shooting out of the open door and brushing the bottom the kitchen cabinet. Again they went down but didn’t go out. So in a fit of desperation I grabbed a big glass filled it with water, stood back and threw it on the burning pan. Thankfully this time flames finally died.
Relieved, I pulled out the blackened bacon and ashes still on the greasy, watery pan and tossed it in the sink. Then there was the burned, salty, powdery, watery mess in my microwave and a smoke stains all over the bottom of my kitchen cabinet. Comforted that the kitchen didn’t burn down, I stood there laughing, assuring myself that I would never multi-task when making breakfast again.
I love chocolate, I mean really love it The idea of hating chocolate never entered my mind until my mom and I decided to go into the candy making “business” for three very long days one Christmas back in the 80’s.
My mom and I decided to make homemade chocolate covered coconut candy for holiday gifts. We were both eager to start our candy “factory”, little did we know what we were letting ourselves in for.
First, I want to praise to all of the chocolatiers in the world who happily do this for a living. My mom and I found a simple recipe for chocolate covered coconut candy. We agreed it was a wonderful and unique gift to send to our family for the holidays. Before we started we read the instructions which seemed pretty simple.
We donned our aprons, had our holiday spirit on and started our candy making adventure. We took out all the ingredients all set for some holiday fun. I put the coconut balls together while my mom prepared the chocolate.
The recipe said to, Melt the paraffin and add chocolate chips. Stir until blended. Place toothpick in balls and dip into chocolate. Let them drip a little. Place on wax paper until set. An important part of this story is we lived in Phoenix, Arizona. Christmas is rarely cold there, so the kitchen was fairly warm (I believe we had the sliding glass door open). Mom melted the paraffin and added the chocolate.
I took the coconut/nut mixture straight from the fridge, rolled it into balls then put it on toothpicks and started dipping. The first few went fine. What we didn’t realize was as the coconut balls that sat on the counter were starting to melt in the heat. Because we were going amateur speed, it didn’t take long for things to go wrong. I can’t remember who it happened to first, but as we dipped the coconut balls into the hot chocolate mixture pieces of coconut started to fall off to into the melted chocolate, a piece here and there, so we stopped, We began fishing out the coconut pieces out and put the tray back in the fridge. As we started again, things got worse, not only did pieces of coconut fall off, the candy was now breaking off into the chocolate in chunks. I could have cried, but we both laughed and finished what we could.
Knowing this was for Christmas gifts we hung in there for three days of this candy making mess. When we closed the last tin, we vowed we were out of the candy making business forever.
Making desserts was something my mother had done most of my life. She used to clip recipes from magazines and newspapers so I cannot remember where she got this incredible custard filled lady fingers cake recipe (that we now affectionately call ‘Mom’s Drop Cake”) that she decided to make, but I remember the ingredients were expensive and there were a lot of steps.
Mom began by lining the spring form pan with a layer of lady fingers. Then she made the wonderful custard filling to finish the cake. She turned on the oven and set the temperature. I hung out in the kitchen visiting with her watching as she put the ingredients together. She carefully poured the mixture over the bottom of the pan, filling it nearly to the top of the lady fingers. It looked heavenly, she gently put her hands around the spring form pan, slid it to the edge of the kitchen counter to put it into the oven. She announced, “here we go” grabbed it and as she held it up, I watched in horror as the entire cake dropped out of the pan and spread all over the kitchen floor. She stood there stunned, after the shock of what just happened subsided, I felt an uncontrollable urge to laugh. She looked at me very seriously and said, “Don’t you dare laugh”, but it began to bubble up anyway so I bolted down the hall to the bathroom, shut the door and laughed until I cried.
As I got control of myself, I went back out to the kitchen which was an indescribable mess to find out that mom had forgotten to close the spring on the springform pan. Still giggling I told mom I would clean up the mess, she told me she was going to the store to buy all of the ingredients and would make it again when she got back. The second recipe turned out fabulous.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Peace and Love
Changing the Direction of Your Life by Focusing on a Healthy Self-Esteem (transform yourself from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly)
We have all been conditioned to place our values on the clothes we wear, the pounds on our body, the color of our eyes, the shape of our face. What we should be asking ourselves is, “Who am I?” What is my dream? How can I serve? How can I make a difference? Are you starting to see how you can make a difference in your thoughts? Rather than allowing your ego to control your life, allowing your soul’s essence to bloom and flourish is the catalyst to creating confidence and a positive self-esteem. When you begin to go inside and live from the inside out, your visual picture of yourself will change considerably.
Self-esteem is the confidence in the who of you instead of the look of you. It is about allowing your inner spirit and self-worth to join together to be the light that you truly are. Realizing the power of all of the parts of you that are being edged out by ego definitions and beliefs of appearance will be transforming.
Take time to focus on these steps to transform your life from ordinary to extraordinary:
Live Consciously. You can do this by paying attention to how you feel and to the thoughts that come into your mind. Watch and observe your reactions by listening to your body. For instance when you think: “I am hungry” are you eating because you’re supposed to or because it is “time” to eat, pay attention to your intuition, your heart, be mindful of your life.
Learn from Mistakes. It is okay to say, “I made a mistake”, own it and learn from it. We all make mistakes; the best way to deal with a mistake is to realize that you discovered something about yourself and you will go forward a better person.
Listen To Other’s Point Of View. It is easy to get caught up in our own opinion, even if it’s negative. Asking for and listening to other points of view can help you to realize your own truth and what you have intuitively known all along. This is a great way to develop your listening and learning skills. We are all capable of teaching, but only if we are willing to listen and learn.
Take Care Of Yourself Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually. Have internal conversations to stop negative self talk (use the command CANCEL, CANCEL) and start thinking about how you can create a better life for yourself and finally, stop victimizing yourself and telling stories that make it seem as though you were unconscious when difficult situations happen. Taking care of yourself should be focused on your intellect and spirituality to create new behaviors. We all have choices, it is up to us to take responsibility for our own emotional well-being.
Respect People’s Differences. We are all different. It took me a long time to understand this. We all feel safe with people that are just like us. Respecting other people’s differences doesn’t mean that you agree with them, it is understanding that they have the right to be who they are, believe what they believe and act as they act and deserve respect as human beings.
Take Responsibility for Your Life. Wayne Dyer says in a guided meditation, “No matter how much I protest, I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me in my life”. Keeping this in mind will help you to create a new way of thinking and being.
Speak and Act from Your Own Convictions. Don’t be afraid to speak up, I had the “disease” to please everyone and said “yes” when in my heart I was saying no. You are empowering yourself when you take control of your life when you say no and speak your truth, you will feel better about yourself because you’re being authentic.
Have a Sense of Purpose & Direction. Having a sense of persistence is a big step toward having a good self-esteem. Your choices are important. You were born for a reason; your purpose is to begin to discover who you are and what you want your life to look like.
Meditate Daily. Spend time each day in a quiet and serene environment. Put on some relaxing music and be still. Use your ability to visualize your ideal situation, work, home, family, health, etc. See it in your mind as you would if it were real and the way your ideal life would look,. You will soon begin to understand why you are doing it as time goes on.
Create Your Life. Examine what you need, your desires, unique assets and abilities and how you can use them to achieve the life you intend for yourself. Commit to having to an authentic life without feeling that you have to achieve perfection. Rather then establish goals, create intentions which are easier for the human brain to “adhere to that are reflective of your desired outcome. Use your imagination to envision the life that you want, combined with the feelings that you already have achieved for your intended life. Celebrate your successes and expect and learn from your mistakes. Draw on the positive within yourself – become aware of negative thoughts and beliefs that may show themselves. Creating a vision board reinforces your intentions and reminds you of the power you have to create your own path.
Be Confident. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. The lack of confidence can appear as lack of self esteem, when it isn’t, just like having confidence can appear that you have great self-esteem. Self esteem and confidence are very different
Have unwavering faith in yourself and your unique abilities, it can eventually lead to strong self-esteem.
Forgive yourself. This is probably the most important of all of the tips that I am offering. When you can forgive yourself, you will lighten your load immediately. Not forgiving is like wearing dark sunglasses that distort everything that you see, and you want others to see through the same glasses. When you forgive, it is like leaving behind a heavy weight. Imagine that you are a boat tied to a dock when you cannot forgive someone or yourself. It is difficult and painful work to go anywhere until you release the past. Forgiving is putting down all of your baggage and leaving it behind. You travel lightly. It has nothing to do with worthiness—yours or others’. You and they are both worthy. That is not the issue. The issue is whether you wish to continue to carry your baggage.
Your gifts, talents and treasures are unique to you, the only way the world is going to benefit from your gifts is if you believe that you are worthy and have something to give…which means that you must love yourself enough to be the dynamo you were born to be.
Namaste My Friends.